Insult my wife

JJFlash

New member
We've talked about confrontations on other threads. Thought I might start a new one to gen up new interest.

Here's the deal: You're carrying and someone insults your wife publicly. To me, that calls for a confrontation on your part. But, now you're carrying. I don't think we can go scuffling around with somebody since that's a good way to lose control of your weapon. Walk away? That would be tough. Hand the gun to your wife? Mine has a carry permit but still...Go deposit your weapon in your vehicle, come back, and THEN smack somebody? Nahhh...If I'm gonna fight, I intend to hit first, hard, and fast; anything else sets you up to lose. So, I don't know...what do we do? I can walk away from some crap, but there are plenty of situations that I don't think I could (insulting my wife in front of me is one of them). I'm interested in hearing from the "brotherhood"...What would you do?
 

Dear friend,

I too have thought about this problem for years. I strongly suggest that you grab your wife and run away. Later we could both sooth her feelings, but can't recall the escalation of violence. What might occur in the heat of the moment might cause us long lasting regret.

Be safe, and avoid conflict whenever possible. I don't mean when a knife or gun are presented. The gloves come off then.
 
Why would you get in a fight because some guy calls your wife names? What does that prove exactly? I would never, nor would my wife expect me to, start a fight because some one called her fat/skinny/ugly/hot etc. Of course if the guy is saying he's going to take action and hurt someone then you have to take defensive action.
 
Avoid conflict of the name calling nature at all costs. that go's back to the sticks and staones saying we were all taught when we were kids. Should you escalate the onflict by physical action you never know where it could lead. the person handing out the insults could be carrying as well, should you escalte the situation who knows where it could lead too. the outcome will be one thing for sure something that both parties will regret. I dont know what your laws are where you live but here it basically states we when in fear of our life we can use deadly force as long as we are 1. somewhere we have a right to be. 2. Not involved in something illegal ( assaulting someone for what they said). All of our wives will get over their dignity being insulted sooner than they will us serving time in prison or pushing up dasies!

I constatntly have to tell my wife to chill in public places. she is one of those people who if someone bumps into her in public and doesnt say excuse me she will get verbal. i keep telling her to let the little things go and pick your battles, some things are just not worth getting worked up over. I know some day she is going to write a check with her mouth that her body cant cash and i am gonna stand back and try not to laugh ( where she can see me):biggrin:
 
I know some day she is going to write a check with her mouth that her body cant cash . . .

Mine's pretty much the same, but I have the feeling that someday she's going to write a check that I may have to cash! I dread the day, but I fear it's coming. (Not when I'm carrying, though!)
 
OK, ya'll, I'm surprised and grateful for the counsel. Maybe I'm not a mature as I thought I was (and I'm effin' 56!). I was sure that I was gonna get more agreement on this. Hmmm...I'm gonna have to start re-tooling.

FYI, I haven't been in a serious fight for a very long time; lest I sound like a macho butthead. Just enjoy posing scenarios and how I might handle them and getting feedback. I always learn something.
 
Why would you get in a fight because some guy calls your wife names? What does that prove exactly? I would never, nor would my wife expect me to, start a fight because some one called her fat/skinny/ugly/hot etc. Of course if the guy is saying he's going to take action and hurt someone then you have to take defensive action.

I agree with Dave. Why put to risk everything you have worked DAMN hard for just because someone said something bad to your wife. Unless you or your wife are in immediate danger let it roll off your shoulder and go on with your day.
 
I was just having this discussion with a friend of mine with regards to some comments that were made (in jest) by a neighbor about his daughter. The guy kept saying the same thing more than 4 times over a period of 3 weeks not knowing that he was pissing off my friend (who is also a neighbor). So my friend asks me "what would you do"? "Should I tell him that the comments are pissing me off and the next time he opens his mouth I'm going to close it for him"? It's tough... I told him this simple rule that I was taught by a high school shop teacher (The guy was a certified black belt and was a self defense instructor). If you bring the desire to have a conflict with you when you go places conflict will find you. Eventually you will get into a conflict with a person who can defend themselves better than you. If you’re lucky it will hurt just your pride. If not so lucky you could die. I keep that one in mind when I go out and especially when armed. Just laugh and look at her and say “Aren’t you glad you married me instead of a loser like that?:to_pick_ones_nose:
 
Why can't you just say, "look buddy, if I wasn't packing I'd kick your ass right now, but I am packing so I'm just gonna walk away". If someone said that to me in a calm collect way I'd probably wait till he turned around and rethink the next time I mock someone.....if I wasn't armed. I'm always armed, so I keep my comments to myself unless its all in fun.
 
Ignore it. Simple. Do not disclose you are carrying because then they can call in a false report of you brandishing you can kiss your CCW(s) goodbye in that case if the charges stick. There's also the issue of mutual combat which becomes murder in Nevada if one of the participants dies. We had a case happen like that here recently at casino in the northwest area of town.

I'm much more even tempered carrying since I know that there's a high probability if things were to get out of hand I would end up having to use it. Part of the zen associated with legal and responsible CCW is avoiding conflict. It's a similar zen to what is taught in many martial arts by respectable instructors and dojos.
 
Its one thing to tell somebody to have some respect and dignity towards himself/others. Its another to haul off and start swinging. When the police break it up and then find your weapon, you are gonna be in a whole HEAP of cow dung.

Tell the person to grow up, and continue your day. If they are persistent, tell them to leave you alone. If they don't leave you alone, tell them to stay WAY BACK and that you are now taking them as a threat to your and your wife's personal safety. Call law enforcement if the situation keeps escalating, this usually will make people in public leave you alone. After that, you know what to do I would hope. :)

You have to remember in the grandstand of things, you are the bigger man. You just avoided having to beat someone's ass, or worse, kill them. This should make you feel more comfortable knowing that YOU are the one in control of the situation, and the other person is just a no-life instigator who has nothing better to do.
 
Good advice by all. You know, I'm a black belt and have been schooled heartily in avoiding violence and fights. And I do. (One thing you learn fast in martial arts training is there is always someone who can kick your ass.) And I have mellowed even more since I've started carrying 24/7. However, as an unarmed martial artist, I guess I have felt that I could "put someone down" without necessarily killing him; thus, I would be apt to react to an insult to my wife (as an example). I'm trained to draw my weapon for only one reason however: to stop the threat. Given that I'm trained to plant 2 in center mass, this obviously means my antagonist has a greater chance of dying. So, ok, carrying a gun is not quite the same as being a black belt. So, I need to adjust my emotional response accordingly.

My wife's response was exactly what you all have counseled. So it's a "pride" thing on my part.

Here's a question: How many of you are from south of the Mason-Dixon line? I am (tho I have lived in the Northland now for over 20 years) and I think there's a culturally-induced emotional response at play here. Where I grew up, if someone insults your wife, you stand up, no question. False honor? Maybe. My wife is from the North and as I said, her response has always been: "why would you fight over something as silly as that?" My brothers and friends back home would say: "Kick his ass!".
 
Prevent it.

You see, if the insulting party doesn’t know you, they don’t know if you’re sane and normal or a complete loon. Carry openly. Nobody will bother you because nobody knows for sure if you’re:
A cop
A violent nutjob
An honest citizen who avoids conflict
All of the above
 
Prevent it.

You see, if the insulting party doesn’t know you, they don’t know if you’re sane and normal or a complete loon. Carry openly. Nobody will bother you because nobody knows for sure if you’re:
A cop
A violent nutjob
An honest citizen who avoids conflict
All of the above
In some states that will work and in others that will not. MA (my home base) is one of those places that open carry is not illegal but has been described by most of the LEO in the state that I know as "a very dangerous and foolish thing to do for various reasons". I agree... If someone notices you with the open carry firearm and they are in the market for a loaded gun for let’s say their next "armed robbery" or "car jackin stunt" and they manage to get the jump on you, well you could fit the bill. Wake up in the hospital with a head full of staples and some degree of short term memory loss. The other reason is the fear and complete panic that most non gun owning folks will exhibit when they encounter a person not in uniform (either Military or LEO) with a gun on their side... Most (not all) folks here in the north-east are afraid of gun toting folks.. Cops will get the call and the description to the 911 operator could be as follows: “Oh My God there is some guy here with a gun”. “Where is he”? “He’s walking by the bank, I think he’s planning to rob the bank”… Oh Yeah, I’m really fond of “get on the ground now!!” and 2 or more guns being pointed at me…Anyway kinda rambled there, but keeping cool and laughing at the situation with some degree of self awareness that you could just shoot the guy and make it all better… That would be a tough sell to the jury I must say. “Guilty? How so? “He called my wife a fat whore”, I had to kill him”… :sarcastic:
 
We've talked about confrontations on other threads. Thought I might start a new one to gen up new interest.

Here's the deal: You're carrying and someone insults your wife publicly. To me, that calls for a confrontation on your part. But, now you're carrying. I don't think we can go scuffling around with somebody since that's a good way to lose control of your weapon. Walk away? That would be tough. Hand the gun to your wife? Mine has a carry permit but still...Go deposit your weapon in your vehicle, come back, and THEN smack somebody? Nahhh...If I'm gonna fight, I intend to hit first, hard, and fast; anything else sets you up to lose. So, I don't know...what do we do? I can walk away from some crap, but there are plenty of situations that I don't think I could (insulting my wife in front of me is one of them). I'm interested in hearing from the "brotherhood"...What would you do?


I'd walk away. I suppose if you had a dire need to get the guy back, the best way would be to wait a bit and nail him when he least expects it. A month or two down the line and I'm sure the dirt bag would have pissed of another guy or two.

I've learned through the years that revenge is a dish best served cold. :wink:



gf
 
OK, when I'm carrying (which is pretty much all the time), I'm walking away. Agreed.

But, assuming you're unarmed, you are telling me you wouldn't stand up if someone seriously insulted your wife in front of you, in public? You're better men than I am, cause I'm definitely gonna have something to say. I know, logically, it seems stupid (end up embarassed, hurt, in jail, dead I suppose), but I picture someone in a restaurant bearing down on my wife verbally, and I can't see me just walking away. Too much foolish pride, I guess. And yeah, you could lose your right to carry (if you're convicted of assault), but as Uncle Teddy Nugent has said: "I got a God-given right to protect myself and my loved ones, and I don't need no stinkin' carry permit to do that".

Hey, Dudeorific, I'm born and raised in Baltimore County, BTW. Left 30 years ago to live out west where the deer and antelope play, and have never regretted it (strong hunting and gun culture here, along with VERY friendly people).
 
Don't read too much into this...it has never happened and I doubt it will. I was just suggesting possible scenarios that I would have trouble walking away from. Where I live, the people ARE friendly, I run a business in a small city and know tons of folks, I don't frequent questionable locales (I don't think we even have any), and at 6ft 2in, 280 lbs (shaved head, goatee, tats), I don't look like someone whose wife you'd tend to insult. Again, no hostility on my part, just speculating.
 

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