Firefighterchen
OC for Tactical Advantage
SGB:255588 said:
Couldn't agree more.
As a matter of respect?
- Thread starter walt629
- Start date
Couldn't agree more.
The_Outlaw
~The Dude Abides~
I have few friends/family members that I know would be uncomfortable with me carrying. I don't visit them often (usually have them over to my house,) but when I do visit, I lock it in the car.
I have other friends that I have never advised one way or the other, but they are friends that I am at least 75% certain would have no problem.
Ironically, the only time I have been "called out" on carrying in a house I was uncertain of, was a case of "Hey, so what do you carry?" from someone I thought was mildly anti-gun, and was pleasantly surprised to find out wasn't. This was a case where the OWNER of the house is the person I wasn't sure about, but I knew that the tenant was okay. I hadn't been expecting the owner to be there. (It's a case of one friend renting his house out to another friend. I know the renter a lot better than the owner.) The tenant is gun-friendly, but doesn't have any in the house (he just finished college after a while in the service - his guns are still at his parents house in another state,) so I couldn't be positive on the owner.
I have other friends that I have never advised one way or the other, but they are friends that I am at least 75% certain would have no problem.
Ironically, the only time I have been "called out" on carrying in a house I was uncertain of, was a case of "Hey, so what do you carry?" from someone I thought was mildly anti-gun, and was pleasantly surprised to find out wasn't. This was a case where the OWNER of the house is the person I wasn't sure about, but I knew that the tenant was okay. I hadn't been expecting the owner to be there. (It's a case of one friend renting his house out to another friend. I know the renter a lot better than the owner.) The tenant is gun-friendly, but doesn't have any in the house (he just finished college after a while in the service - his guns are still at his parents house in another state,) so I couldn't be positive on the owner.
Deserteagle
New member
Im always talking guns with people and frequently discussing laws and trying to persuade those who like guns to think about getting a permit to carry one. These fellow gun-friendly friends of mine know I have a permit to carry, but unless we are going shooting together, they will never know when I am carrying. Open carrying is still something I want to try though, so in that case, everyone knows, not that its a big deal though.
I dont think respect is involved in this at all. Being respectful to acquaintances and friends does not always mean full disclosure.
I dont think respect is involved in this at all. Being respectful to acquaintances and friends does not always mean full disclosure.
Tucker's Mom
New member
It depends...Everyone knows I am carrying but there are "friends" who doesn't want me to carry when I go shopping with her and her disabled child. I carry anyway. They do not ask. I do not tell. If they do and I have to go to my car to lock it up, I'll drive off and never come back that way again.
BluesStringer
Les Brers
For me, the question is fairly moot, because my wife and I are home-bodies and don't go visiting much at all anyway.
That said, I've been carrying for well over 30 years, always concealed. The only places I disarm are court houses and airports, or wherever a metal detector is going to out me, and I'm here to tell ya that I resent the Hell out of those infringements on my rights.
I have only been "made" once at Seattle Center, and that was in the first year that I started carrying (like '78 or '79 I guess). Whoever made me pointed me out to the cops and it ruined the whole beautiful day that my first wife and I had planned. I was legally "papered" (had my permit), but the harassment was relentless, so we ended up leaving feeling like we had been violated by the very enforcers of the laws that we went to the trouble of abiding by. Never been made since, and I sure as Hell don't advertise to anyone that I carry.
In the 30+ years that I have carried, I have never, not once, pulled or brandished my weapon. I've also never been in a physical altercation during that time, nor been victimized by thugs, nor arrested. About 15 years ago I got a speeding ticket. Didn't mouth off to the cop, but also didn't inform him that I was armed. Paid the fine, went to traffic school to have the points taken off my record, and just went on with life. Point being, I don't go into neighborhoods where I'm most likely going to find trouble, I drive to avoid encounters with law enforcement, I pay my taxes and don't draw unwelcome attention to myself.
My decision to carry was a personal one, for which I knew ahead of time many of my friends and family members would not understand or agree with. The "respect" I show them is in not forcing them to deal with a subject which, when kept to myself, means that our interactions are devoid of stress/angst/fear/distrust etc. etc. etc. My self-respect dictates that I am armed 24/7/365 though, with the only exceptions being the aforementioned situations, and I never compromise my own self-respect.
There is no reason for anyone to know you're carrying. If you're getting "made" by your friends, you're doing it wrong. If you're locking up your weapon out of an over-concern for someone else's ignorant sensibilities, you're doing it wrong. If you can't efficiently and effectively articulate your rationale for carrying to the surprised friends and family members who might still be alive only because you outed yourself at an appropriate time, then you're doing it wrong.
I honestly don't get how or why it is disrespectful to anyone to keep it to myself that I am carrying, whether they are 2nd Amendment proponents or not. I find it much more disrespectful of a person to assert that my rights cease to exist at the threshold of their front door than me silently exercising my rights to everyone's benefit if the need for using a weapon should arise, which I continue to sincerely hope it never does. But if it does, I'll sleep well at night even if a so-called friend is alienated because I deigned to pull their unarmed bacon out of the fire when the shootin' started.
Blues
That said, I've been carrying for well over 30 years, always concealed. The only places I disarm are court houses and airports, or wherever a metal detector is going to out me, and I'm here to tell ya that I resent the Hell out of those infringements on my rights.
I have only been "made" once at Seattle Center, and that was in the first year that I started carrying (like '78 or '79 I guess). Whoever made me pointed me out to the cops and it ruined the whole beautiful day that my first wife and I had planned. I was legally "papered" (had my permit), but the harassment was relentless, so we ended up leaving feeling like we had been violated by the very enforcers of the laws that we went to the trouble of abiding by. Never been made since, and I sure as Hell don't advertise to anyone that I carry.
In the 30+ years that I have carried, I have never, not once, pulled or brandished my weapon. I've also never been in a physical altercation during that time, nor been victimized by thugs, nor arrested. About 15 years ago I got a speeding ticket. Didn't mouth off to the cop, but also didn't inform him that I was armed. Paid the fine, went to traffic school to have the points taken off my record, and just went on with life. Point being, I don't go into neighborhoods where I'm most likely going to find trouble, I drive to avoid encounters with law enforcement, I pay my taxes and don't draw unwelcome attention to myself.
My decision to carry was a personal one, for which I knew ahead of time many of my friends and family members would not understand or agree with. The "respect" I show them is in not forcing them to deal with a subject which, when kept to myself, means that our interactions are devoid of stress/angst/fear/distrust etc. etc. etc. My self-respect dictates that I am armed 24/7/365 though, with the only exceptions being the aforementioned situations, and I never compromise my own self-respect.
There is no reason for anyone to know you're carrying. If you're getting "made" by your friends, you're doing it wrong. If you're locking up your weapon out of an over-concern for someone else's ignorant sensibilities, you're doing it wrong. If you can't efficiently and effectively articulate your rationale for carrying to the surprised friends and family members who might still be alive only because you outed yourself at an appropriate time, then you're doing it wrong.
I honestly don't get how or why it is disrespectful to anyone to keep it to myself that I am carrying, whether they are 2nd Amendment proponents or not. I find it much more disrespectful of a person to assert that my rights cease to exist at the threshold of their front door than me silently exercising my rights to everyone's benefit if the need for using a weapon should arise, which I continue to sincerely hope it never does. But if it does, I'll sleep well at night even if a so-called friend is alienated because I deigned to pull their unarmed bacon out of the fire when the shootin' started.
Blues
The_Outlaw
~The Dude Abides~
Excellent post! I agree with you 100%!
"Can you keep a secret?" "Of course." "Good. So can I." End of conversation.
Given the compulsion some folks have to share secrets with just about EVERYONE, I see little "up" side to informing anyone unless legally required to do so - which pretty much means Law Enforcement or Metal Detector.
So there I am, flat on my back in the dentist chair, with the 20-something single-mother-of-a-2-year-old-daughter hygienist cleaning away at my teeth and digging into gums and what should arise but -- you guessed it -- (get yer mind outta there I'm old enough to be her Gramps) concealed carry!! She was amazed that several friends she'd graduated from high school with some 5-or-so years ago now had concealed carry permits. We had a nice conversation about basic requirements for getting the permit and why some of her friends might feel the need for one, as well as the folly of only carrying "when they might need it" (just DON'T GO there!)vs. the reasonable "always carry". And she was moving out of her parents house into a place of her own. I didn't tell her that the single-stack .45 I was reclining on really was not at all uncomfortable and she didn't ask. I don't think she'd seen anything to make her think I might be carrying, but I forgot to look at the soft vinyl of the chair to see if the .45 had left a distinctive impression when I got up.
Bottom line? My hygienist can say for certain that one of her patients knows the basic requirements for getting a carry permit. She may suspect there's a reason for that, but she does not KNOW. That office, like many workplaces, is a hotbed of gossip. Next time I go for a cleaning will be with a different carry (seasonal change).
Given the compulsion some folks have to share secrets with just about EVERYONE, I see little "up" side to informing anyone unless legally required to do so - which pretty much means Law Enforcement or Metal Detector.
So there I am, flat on my back in the dentist chair, with the 20-something single-mother-of-a-2-year-old-daughter hygienist cleaning away at my teeth and digging into gums and what should arise but -- you guessed it -- (get yer mind outta there I'm old enough to be her Gramps) concealed carry!! She was amazed that several friends she'd graduated from high school with some 5-or-so years ago now had concealed carry permits. We had a nice conversation about basic requirements for getting the permit and why some of her friends might feel the need for one, as well as the folly of only carrying "when they might need it" (just DON'T GO there!)vs. the reasonable "always carry". And she was moving out of her parents house into a place of her own. I didn't tell her that the single-stack .45 I was reclining on really was not at all uncomfortable and she didn't ask. I don't think she'd seen anything to make her think I might be carrying, but I forgot to look at the soft vinyl of the chair to see if the .45 had left a distinctive impression when I got up.
Bottom line? My hygienist can say for certain that one of her patients knows the basic requirements for getting a carry permit. She may suspect there's a reason for that, but she does not KNOW. That office, like many workplaces, is a hotbed of gossip. Next time I go for a cleaning will be with a different carry (seasonal change).
I carry in friends houses. Those that also own guns know I carry, but not if I have it at a given time, and don't care either way. My best friend is in the national guard, he doesn't care but his girlfriend does. She's scared of guns, well even ammo or anything gun related. Ihad two last time, and brought in my nanovault from the car and locked them up and tossed it in a drawer. He pulls me aside later and says "she asked if you can put those in the car while your here." I replied "No." When he askd why (he didn't care what the answer was but asked so she wouls quit bugging him) I told him there was no way I was leaving close to a grand worth of guns in the car in a Boston suburb. I find it odd that she even asked because the prior trip se was fine with it. Oh well, she doesn't like me much anyway.
Tucker's Mom
New member
Pretty much like ... you told one, you told the whole world..."???
"Don't worry. What they don't know won't harm them" "Concealed means concealed" "If they see it, You're not doing it right" Wow. Just wow.
What they don't know could ruin a relationship for life. Aren't relationships between, to use the dastardly word "friends", built on understanding, truthfulness and respect between peoples?
My OP wasn't about a visit to someones home that you were just introduced to that afternoon. It was about showing respect to a friend (OH NO!! It's that overused word again! Oh the humanity!) that doesn't know about you carrying a gun.
And frankly, they don't know about me carrying because I have concealed it very well. (So I must be doing it well)
If it was a strangers house, or maybe one of your friends, I'd have no compunction about violating the sanctity of their home after all , according to most of the posts I've read so far, it's okay.
I was talking about a real friend. Someone you have respect for and someone that has enough trust in you to let you into their home around their family.
Evidently truth and trust doesn't come into play in a lot of friendships according to what I'm reading here.
Just my opinion. Just the way I am.
What they don't know could ruin a relationship for life. Aren't relationships between, to use the dastardly word "friends", built on understanding, truthfulness and respect between peoples?
My OP wasn't about a visit to someones home that you were just introduced to that afternoon. It was about showing respect to a friend (OH NO!! It's that overused word again! Oh the humanity!) that doesn't know about you carrying a gun.
And frankly, they don't know about me carrying because I have concealed it very well. (So I must be doing it well)
If it was a strangers house, or maybe one of your friends, I'd have no compunction about violating the sanctity of their home after all , according to most of the posts I've read so far, it's okay.
I was talking about a real friend. Someone you have respect for and someone that has enough trust in you to let you into their home around their family.
Evidently truth and trust doesn't come into play in a lot of friendships according to what I'm reading here.
Just my opinion. Just the way I am.
Only one question. How the heck can you carry on a conversation with her hands in your mouth? LOL!
Yea. I wouldn't tell a stranger about my CC either. Unless of course the dental hygienist is a close and personal friend, then I may consider it the next time I'm invited to break bread at her home with her and her 2 kids.
Secretes aren't meant to be shared with just anyone. You're right. But the OP was about sharing extremely vital knowledge with someone you trust OR simply avoiding the necessity by leaving the weapon in the trunk.
So far most responses have been 'screw the relationship, carry your gun'.
How did you get a word in edgewise?
I don't know Chen. I choose who I call friend very carefully. That's probably the reason I don't have a whole lot of them. I generally know someone for a long time as an acquaintance before I call them friend. But even during that time, they don't know everything about me, including that I CC.
And that was the reason for the question in the OP. Do you carry into the home of someone you really do call friend when they do not know you carry, or do you leave it in the trunk?
Sounds like that freind wasn't enough of a friend to keep what is said between you two just between you two.
Thanks. That's the kind of feed back I was looking for. I'm the same way I guess. If it a question between having to ask or leave it in the trunk, the trunk it is.
Second thought on your post, Doc.
If I lived in an open carry state we wouldn't be having this discussion to start with. I wouldn't have had the question in the first place. The friend I was visiting would have known up front that I was carrying.
I don't see the question of informing a close friend about my carry status in the category of "the need to inform everyone".
In my humble opinion, friendships are built on trust. I don't see it as trusting someone by carrying a lethal weapon into their home without giving them the opportunity to make an educated decision on the matter. And where would their trust be in me if I didn't tell them and they became aware of my carry status?
All of this just because Florida is not an open carry state. Gee whiz!
Ahhh! The advantage of female carry options. Guys carry in a fanny pack and it screams GUN! Guys show up at a party with a Day Planner of a brief case and everyone looks at you like you're some kind of nut ball.
But the girls show up with their travel bags or purses and no one gives it a second thought.
It's discrimination I tell ya! Discrimination plain and simple! There needs to be a protest! :->
