Trouble at the Movies


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Hi ya'll, heres something that happend to me a few months ago, I still sit and think about it sometimes and finaly im gonna share it with ya'll. I would really like input and opinions, cause like I said I still go over it in my mind. I think I did the rite thing, but for some reason it still makes me feel bad. So heres the story, I took my family to the movies, it was a crowed theater and the previews were still showing. Now my wife, who's recovering from a massive stroke, and has lost most of her vision was sitting beside me, my 15 YR old son was on the pther side of her. there was this guy who had been on his cell phone was really loud and I thought was kinda rude, but thats my opinion. Anyway he decided to leave the theater we were in and go to a different one as I guess his friends were seeing a different movie. As he was leaving the isle, he stumbled on my wifes foot. She said she was sorry, and the man walked away, but he kept staring at my wife. now remember her vision is pretty bad, and she was trying to see the man in the dark. He stared for almost a full minet whitch struck me as odd. So I asked him if there was a problem. He answered me saying to stop my B.... Wife from staring at him. I replyed that she wasn't hurting anything and he should go on about his business. He got angry and Loud, he told me to make him go about his business. I replyed I didn't want any trouble and again to please go about his business. He replyed to me to get up and make him. Now here I am, crowded theater, Iv'e got my 1911 .45 in my shoulder holster cocked and locked. The man wanted me to get up and i felt if I did there would be a fight, and maby a killing. I chose to sit there,let him call me a coward and not get into a fight, I felt it wasn't really worth it, I just wanted to have Family Nite out. Now If i'd gotten up and trouble had started in the theater, someone would have gotten hurt, possibly an inocent bystander. I thought it was better to let him call me a coward and leave than to take a chance and stand up. I know if I'd stood up he would have attacked me, and the theater was the wrong place to defend myself with my gun. I beleive it was the responsible thing I did, but I really looked like a whimp in front of my son. I still feel bad about the whole thing, and would like other opinions to think about. Thanks for reading my story and look forward to you guys input. thanks again, Sam

You did the right thing. Simply explain to your son that because we are armed we have to sometimes be the better man and overlook the little things.

"The difference between a man and a jackass is that when a man passes the pasteur and the jackass brays at him, the man doesn't feel the need to bray back."

You did the right thing. Simply explain to your son that because we are armed we have to sometimes be the better man and overlook the little things.

"The difference between a man and a jackass is that when a man passes the pasteur and the jackass brays at him, the man doesn't feel the need to bray back."


Good one! I'll remember that one for my next CFP class. :biggrin:

I totally agree. You did the right thing. You were the bigger man and you taught your son a valuable lesson.
The right thing is not always an easy thing to do. I think you did the hard/right thing. You weren't a wimp for doing it.
yep,,you did the right thing. Just because we are surrounded by idiots doesn't mean we have to sink to their level. Besides,we are called to be a peculiar people. :pleasantry: It doesnt take much of a man to exert 3 lbs of pressure,it takes more of a man not to.
Just for giggles, Sam, see if you can find the thread called "Insult my wife". I posted it initially and many others weighed in. I, too, would have a HARD time walking away from this but: YOU DID THE RIGHT THING.

Let your son read these posts, maybe that'll help him see the light.
You did the right thing by not inciting him further. If you had been the lesser man that night and incited him furthe,r you probably would have wound up in jail for aggravated assault. If you had killed the man there would have been a theater full of witnesses, stating that you kept the argument going.

With your son, I would rather look like a wimp in his eyes than go to jail and never see them again. Some families are torn apart by the use of deadly force, however justified it may have been. Good for you for keeping your cool, and your family safe.
1st - I think you did the right thing.. When dealing with a person who is rude (talking on his cellphone in a theater) a55hole (worrying about a half blind lady looking at him), there likely is no good outcome...

I think stresco is right.. It is a good lesson for your son.. How many "humble" lessons do parents teach there kids these days..

You should sit down with your son. But before you start talking, ask him what he thinks you should have done in the situation.. Role play with him.. Choose one of you to be the AHole and the other to be you.. Then let the scenarios play out.. Then explain, that If you had wanted to, you could have created a situation that is likely to have cost a person his life and frightened an entire crowd. If swallowing just a little pride to prevent that from happening, it's a price you were more than willing to pay.. But, now if the guy had attacked you/your family, there would likely be a different outcome. Self Control is a requirement for someone who wants to carry a weapon, you showed that and should be proud..
What.. You wanted to be the tough guy in front of your son.. He gets lots of examples of that on TV and in the movies.. When does he get a real life example of man being a MAN by exercising his restraint rather than letting his testosterone drive his actions.. I presume your son knows you carry.. He knows you had the "power" for things to come out very differently.. Talk it through with him...

THEN, IF you are a religious man, Pray with your son for the AHole.. Ask God to open his eyes to how badly he behaved and that God's love would get a hold of him and change his attitude..
Nothing will teach your son more about your heart than praying for some jerk that God's love would come into his life.. IMHO...
You did everything right EXCEPT responding to his initial comments. Whether it would have been better or not, given this guys idiotic and crazy attitide, not saying anything MAY have been better than even trying to explain yourself initially--it gave him a reason to respond.

I think you did the right thing, it's hard but smart. There is no point in someone dying over something that small. I had a similar situation at a theater in OKC one night and did about the same thing you did. It was very hard to just walk away. It still bothers me at times. Being an ex LEO I knew if I had stayed there and took his verbal abuse it would have gotten nasty. My wife was very pleased I walked away.Your son shold be proud of you.
You did well. You were prudent to remain calm in the face of stupidity and be alert in case you had to react.
Your son should realize that a man doesn't escalate a situation or resort to needless violence; a man is ready to protect his family if necessary without histrionics.
I believe it was the responsible thing I did, but I really looked like a whimp in front of my son. I still feel bad about the whole thing, and would like other opinions to think about.

There are any number of ways to avoid a confrontation, and you succeeded. Anytime you don't have to shoot someone--even if, yes, they desperately need to be shot--you win.

Under the circumstances, I think a guy staring for a full minute really starts crossing a personal space boundary and is something of a pre-attack indicator. I think it was good that you verbally challenged him by asking if there was a problem. That alone might have been enough to "call him out" because he was standing there thinking, "I oughta do something to teach that &*$#! a lesson." By asking him, it allowed him to flap his gums, get it out of his system, and leave thinking "He da man!"

Did your son express any concerns to you over the situation--either during or since. In any case, maybe you wanna talk with him just to clear the air. May turn out he says, "Dad, that guy was a jerk and you got him to leave the theater. I'm proud of you."

If there were any lingering concerns or issues, it would give you a chance to talk with your son about such things. I presume your sons knows carry and probably knew at the time you were armed. It would give you the chance to tell your son that the guy probably was a jerk who tries to instigate fights. He already demonstrated via his cell phone usage in the theater how he had no regard for other patrons who'd come to see a movie, not to listen to him yak on his cell. However, just because someone is a jerk who wants to instigate a fight doesn't mean it's smart, appropriate, or legal to pick up the gauntlet over words. Reassure your son that if something more had happened, if this guy had persisted and started pushing or shoving, brandished a weapon, et al. that you would have responded to protect him and his Mom.
Agree with all of the above. The right thing to do is frequently the harder thing, and almost any scenario I run through my head with respect to responding to this guy ultimately comes out bad for you. Figure that one day he'll get ballsy with someone who's not so well controlled and Karma will take over...and that'll be that.

You done good.

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