Some guns seem safer to me to carry with one in the chamber. I would carry my Taurus PT92 cocked and locked any time without any fear of an AD. Other guns - not so much. But, those new to carrying firearms are still on a learning / comfort curve with their lethal weapon. I'm one. So, I understand your reluctance.
If the discomfort of having one in the chamber keeps you from carrying at all, then by all means don't do it. It's better to have the gun one slide rack away from firing than not having one at all.
I don't carry, currently. But, I think about it alot. If and when I do, I will carry mine with one in the chamber. It just makes sense to me. Again, the design of the gun has something to do with it.
But, I see two separate categories of encounters that one is preparing for - the sudden attack of a robber or whatever in which you're in a quick-draw situation, maybe even being shot at, and the "school shooter" scenario where you're not being attacked directly, but are in a position to take action to protect yourself and others.
I gather that few do well in the first situation, regardless of training. But, to have a chance, you must carry with one in the chamber. Period. If you want to prepare for that, then you have no choice.
I have no problem with preparing only for the second situation. You can acknowledge that you will likely have to surrender posessions or die should the first situation happen to you. For the second, you don't need one in the chamber and you have time to draw and remove the safety and rack the slide.
Put another way, it largely depends on "how prepared" you want to be.
Without meaning to sound condascending in any way, you need to get out and get some really good lethal force on force training under your belt. You are under a number of misconceptions as I have learned by reading the information and reports available and by taking whatever training has been available. First, "you will likely have to surrender possessions or die" - big fat lie. If the bad guy has decided not to leave any witnesses, my friend, you are already dead. Worse yet, if you are within your home or with family, you may have the pleasure of watching your wife, mother, daughter or sister raped or gang raped before you get that bullet through your eye socket. What we are talking about here is fractions of a second and the simple ability to rack a round into the chamber while under life and death stress. THAT is why you carry with one in the chamber. The last account I read (in great detail) has the good guy hit from behind by an old beat up car and the driver of that old beat up car get out and start walking towards the good guy's window. On arriving at the window, the good guy has already drawn his weapon and is holding it beside him out of sight, just in case... the bad guy turns out to be a bad guy after all... and the good guy sees a pistol coming up from behind the bad guy's back/buttocks, lifts his shaky hand and lets two go through the window, whereupon the bad guy walks back to his car, gets in and attempts to leave, hitting a light pole/tree (I forget) where he expires. Had the good guy drawn and racked a round in sight of the bad guy and the bad guy turned out to NOT be a bad guy, the good guy could have been charged with brandishing, "a class 6 felony in this jurisdiction" according to the account. Instead, he lived. Next case, a convenience store owner who has been robbed at gunpoint in past and is a wee bit shell shocked. He is permitted to carry and is carrying a .38 revolver in his pocket. Funky looking guys walk into his store and he suspects no good has arrived again - puts his hand on the gun and holds it in his pocket. Bad guy walks up to him pretending to buy a chocolate bar and hauls out a HUGE knife and attempts to lunge at our good guy, who simply pulls the trigger six times, setting his pants on fire, hitting the bad guy exactly zero times. Bad guy exits stage left and is never seen again. When police arrive the store owner is worried that he hit the bad guy and is told there is no blood trail, the bad guy is likely in the next county and has probably taken up another line of work already... the cops are laughing about it. And so on. "Thank God I Had a Gun" is a marvellous book of real accounts just like the aforementioned - both sides of the fence to be fair - and is an invaluable aid to making your own life and death decisions.
So, for the umpteenth time (and rest assured I don't have the spare time to be typing this in on a regular basis... I have lots of better things to be doing but want my fellow good guys to be safe, trained, and ready).... I spent the first TWO or THREE YEARS carrying with one in the chamber with some guns and not in the chamber with others. I am whittling my carry pieces down to just a few and the number one consideration is DO I FEEL COMFY CARRYING WITH ONE IN THE CHAMBER. If the answer is no - the gun is up for sale. Somewhere down the list (maybe second) is DOES IT CARRY WELL? And so on. I will NOT carry any longer without a round chambered, the gun cocked and ready to go. That limits your choices to guns like Glocks, etc. I also do not carry anything that has a thumb lock on it. I want to poing and pull the trigger. That's it. Just like a revolver.
And just to bring the point home. The guy that was bumped from behind? That we ME. In Orlando Florida. I watched as the bad guy wobbled from his beat up pickup truck up to my side window and I had noplace to go. I was boxed in and I did not have a gun. I spent the longest minute of my life saying "yes sir" and "No sir" to his rantings (high on drugs) before the light turned green and I decided that if he lowered the biggest damn revolver I had ever looked down the barrel of away from my nose, I was gone and he was in my dust. Fortunately he did not have the wherewithall to start shooting... and I was gone. And my vacation was gone too as I spent it looking over my shoulder and throwing up.
Today, I do NOT travel to any state that will not recognize my concealed carry permits and I do not carry without a gun that is ready to fire pretty much on a good grip and a trigger pull. My favourites are my Glock 26 and Glock 30 with NY1 triggers, my HK P7M8 squeeze cocker that I can carry in my pocket fearlessly, and my new Sig P239 Tactical 9mm, which has a decocker - first pull is 8# and then 3# after that until the gun is decocked again. The only one I am comfy with carrying in my pocket is my HK P7M8 and my P7PSP maybe. All others are IWB or preferably OWB if possible. I own a $150 gunbelt and buy only the best of holster designs (not necessarily the most expensive) so that when I reach the holster (and the gun) are where I left them always. And I practice regularly. And read. And take lethal force courses. And am of the mindset that if someone is prepared to threaten me I am prepared to, if in fear of my life or those of my loved ones, take lethal force action without thinking... a reflex action. A fraction of a second.
We have also had TWO home invasions (we live in a very good area of town by the way), the last one two years ago by thugs armed with 4 foot pry bars and handguns at 3 a.m. on our front doorsteps and high as kites on drugs I presume. The 911 operator said to find a safe place to gather the family to which I responded, "Lady, there is NO safe place in this house if these guys come through my front door.... and they are going out feet first." I had already retrieved my G30 from its Gunvault and racked a .45 round into it. Why do I even mention this? To say I have the world's worst luck? No. Just to say that sometimes you will have time to rack a round like I did. And like I did NOT earlier.
So. You want to talk about confusion? You want to talk about a whole lot of thinking before making a decision? I was armed with all the information and all of the experience one could ever hope for in making my decision. I carry with one racked. I carry with at least an 8# pull on the first trigger pull (excepting the squeeze cockers which are inherently safe as safe can be). Oh, and I carry with two spare magazines on my weak side at all times in top quality leather covered holders when 'dressed' and in nyon holders when wearing jeans.
As far as this party is concerned, after years of research and thought and experiences that I would not wish on anyone.... there is only one way to carry and you need to prepare for that method of carry in whatever way you think best and in whatever way will make you feel comfortable. And that carry method is with one in the chamber and with the gun cocked (no lock!) 8# trigger pull or squeeze cocked, etc. Only you will know ultimately what makes you comfortable carrying with one in the chamber and I can assure you that I would NEVER carry with one in the chamber and anything less than an 8# trigger pull on the first shot at least.
But the other comments are right too. If your discomfort at carrying with one in the tube is going to make you leave your gun at home, then by all means... you are better to have your gun along without one in the tube than leaving it at home. The first rule of self defence is to bring your gun along to the party, remembering that you can be disarmed and/or killed from at least twenty feet even when you are aware you are about to be attacked. I have had it done to me in training and it is a fact. For instance, the only thing the bad guy needs to do to render your revolver impotent during a battle is to grab it by the cylinder. Cylinder does not rotate and you might as well be carrying a stick. In a semi, all the bad guy needs to do is get that slide back 1/4" and you are carrying a stick. Still think you have time to rack a round should you need to? Perhaps. I am not willing to take that chance. I would rather buy a gun that I am totally comfortable carrying with one in the chamber.
Time to do some homework methinks. It's not an easy decision but once you realize the difference between a stick and a gun you will have come to the right conclusion. Good luck to you and above all, be safe. You don't have to look for trouble - it will find you and it will find you in the most ungodly and improbable locations, like in your home, at the stoplight, in front of Disney, you name it.
Be safe my friend. Be safe.