When considering a handgun for home defense, the full size models are definitely recommended. The longer sight radius increases accuracy and the higher weight reduces recoil. An added bonus, higher capacity. I personally would go with 9 mm or 45 ACP. The recoil of both calibers is manageable. The Glock 21 with its 13 rounds of 45 ACP, or the Glock 17 (or 19) with its 17 (or 15) rounds of 9mm are good choices. Other options are Springfield Armory XD(M) 4.5 in 45 ACP (13 rounds) or 9 mm (19 rounds).
Note that I did include the compact Glock 19. Glock magazines are interchangeable for the same caliber, i.e., a 17-round Glock 17 magazine works in a Glock 19. The 33-round 9 mm magazine fits as well, if there is a need.
I personally don't like .380 or below for home defense. The recoil from a Bersa Thunder .380 is higher, in my opinion, than from a Glock 19. 9 mm has better terminal ballistics.
I also don't like frangible ammunition due to weak terminal ballistics when they do disintegrate and inconsistency in disintegrating.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-o2owhC_Cgc