I'll chime in on this one and the various responses thusfar.
Kahr .40 - I'd try firing this before you buy one because I hear their lighter weight can make recoil with this weapon a bear.
Glock - no response
Beretta 9000s - This is my carry weapon, and I can say that it's not for the small of hands. It's got a pretty fat grip, and my wife has a hard time holding it. She is slightly larger in stature than your description, so drawing the parallel, I'd say the 9000s is out.
Now, my suggestion to add to the pile. The Bersa Thunder series of autos is known to be pretty reliable and a good carry piece, despite the deceptively low price. This is an inexpensive gun (rather than CHEAP). They have a little more weight, so I think their recoil is slightly less than maybe that of a Kahr. Plus, they're probably much more affordable. If price isn't much of an issue, I think you'd be VERY hard-pressed to find anyone with bad comments on a SIG. I think they have a compact .40.