How can I help my wife???

T

thornton8000

New member
Hello all,

I've been an avid firearm user for over 18yrs and am very comfortable owning, soon to be carrying. My wife on the other hand gets very nervous, (she can't even fire a BB gun) due to her ex and the issues he caused, any ideas on how I can help ease her fears of firearms?
She's ok with guns in the home, as long as they are locked and ammo seperate from the pistol. I'll be carrying a .357 4in on my person day to day and keeping a .38 in the home for protection, will I want to teach her on this firearm, or start her on a .22? I plan on teaching her how to handle a .22 pistol and LR come Feb, March after she delivers.

Thanks once again to the family here on usa carry for all your thoughts and insights,

thornton8000
 
Well I was lucky my wife decided she would go buy her own gun without me. She had been to the range with me a few times and decided that she wanted to be able to do it herself. My advice would be to get her signed up to a fire arms safety and marksmanship class with a competent instructor. I've found that it's easier on everybody if your not the one doing the teaching.
 
I have gone thru something similar with my x fiancee she doesn't like guns we have remained friends even though we decided to go seperate ways in the relationship we still meet up and have dinner or have coffee as friends she recently came around and asked me to teach her how to shoot and take her to the range it surprised the hell out me when we do something together she doesn't even know in ccw so it surprised me a lot my advice would be don't push her into it just talk and somehow let it be her idea.....rather be tried by twelve than carried by six....... Hector
 
My wife was always fearful & nervous around firearms until she took a CWP course. This opened her eyes and gave her more determination to pursue her CWP and SD training.

Go to the NRA website and look for "Women-On-Target" events in your area. IMO; these are the BEST events to get the non shooting woman in your life involved in shooting.

WOT events are "strictly" for women only! No men are allowed aside from instructors & RSOs.

My wife and I have been participating in these events for a few years now; and there have been many NS & AG women come through. I cannot recall even "one" of these women leaving still afraid, anti, or not interested in further pursuing shooting sports & SD training.
 
What's her specific concern? It's very difficult to address a general concern. So, together, try to peel the onion. You said her ex is the cause of her unease around firearms. What was that he did or didn't do? For example, was he unsafe when handling his firearms? If so, what specifically did he do that was unsafe in her view? It sounds like she has transferred these same concerns from her ex to you...but she's reluctant to talk about the specifics possibly because of her feelings for you.
 
I would go with a .22lr Revolver, ( even less scary than an auto ) and let HER Pick it out! :smile:

Pink maybe?

Link Removed
 
Good to start where we all kinda begin. 22LR rifle or handgun. Basic safety and handling techniques. Comfort with that will perhaps bring comfort with larger calibers...

I'm lucky in that my wife was brought up around firearms and assisted her step-father with reloading. She fired a .44 Mag with a good degree of control and accuracy. She has her Class A LTC here in MA...

Take it slow and make it enjoyable.
 
homershoots said:
Well I was lucky my wife decided she would go buy her own gun without me. She had been to the range with me a few times and decided that she wanted to be able to do it herself. My advice would be to get her signed up to a fire arms safety and marksmanship class with a competent instructor. I've found that it's easier on everybody if your not the one doing the teaching.
Click to expand...

I would agree with that assumption. Some people, especially those who have a fear of firearms, tend to learn better from a qualified instructor than a husband or something like that. Good luck and be patient, she will probably come around in some time.
 
I would recommend counseling. Do not be offended, I intend none. Issues with firearms, loud noises, spiders or anything, often have underlying causes. No issue or fear can be remedied without addressing what caused it. Before suggesting that your wife get familiar with guns, have her talk about what bothers her about them.
 
I went through a similar situation. First time she fired a .40 she almost cried. Put it down and quit. I bought her a Walther P22. She likes it. Still can't shoot. We realized it wasn't shooting the gun. It was all the other people at the range shooting unhinged her nerves, not knowing when they were going to fire. Hell, I still jump sometimes myself when I'm not expecting a shot. Maybe some alone time for her at an empty range, ease into it with a .22, and just sit back behind her in case she wants to ask you something, and let her do her thing, assuming she knows all the safety rules already.

She is also TERRIFIED of dogs. In the last year or two, she has found she can tolerate small dogs, and has worked her way up to trusting her best girlfriends German Shepard after getting to know it slowly. I'd say... easy does it, ease her in slowly with a small gun at her own pace.
 
Getting Women in the game

VERDAD Investigations and Protection, Inc. has a Ladies Only course program that may address her concerns and get her shooting on target! We also do private or small group (like you and she) instruction. We have a private range facility so she won't be on range with the public. Seeing and shooting with other women, the guns they carry and being with others does help. Usually a woman is the only female on the range, that in itself can be intimidating. Women also need a weapon that fits her hand, and her arm strength to handle the recoil, you weapon might not do that therefore leaving her with a feeling of lack of control. See our web site Home - Verdad Investigations and I encourage you to give us a call! 315-453-3660.
 
update to previous post

Well I took her to the range on thursday talked her through her fears I let her go at her pace she took her own time taking her first shot which was with a 22mag revolver she ended putting 100 rounds through it then she decided to try my glock 19 she did about 150 rounds she felt comftable at the end that she asked me when I would take her again. Today (Sat) she asked me if I would take her again next week it was a possitive outcome by letting her make the decision when and where to shoot now we have another supporter of our rights whereas if I had pushed her her defenses would have kicked in and never fired that first shoot ( she doesn't know it yet but yesterday I picked up a kel tec pf9 for her to have a lil smaller to shoot:). Thanks. Rather be tried by 12 than carried by 6. Hector:biggrin:
 
thornton8000 said:
Hello all,

I've been an avid firearm user for over 18yrs and am very comfortable owning, soon to be carrying. My wife on the other hand gets very nervous, (she can't even fire a BB gun) due to her ex and the issues he caused, any ideas on how I can help ease her fears of firearms?
She's ok with guns in the home, as long as they are locked and ammo seperate from the pistol. I'll be carrying a .357 4in on my person day to day and keeping a .38 in the home for protection, will I want to teach her on this firearm, or start her on a .22? I plan on teaching her how to handle a .22 pistol and LR come Feb, March after she delivers.

Thanks once again to the family here on usa carry for all your thoughts and insights,

thornton8000
Click to expand...


You're in the same boat that a lot of us are or have been when it comes to wanting the other half to learn to shoot and enjoy it.

I started my wife out on a 22 and it was quite hard to get her to give it up. Eventually she wound up in a .380 Ruger LCP and loves an all metal .45ACP.

You could look at it this way: If you have to buy a 22 and she winds up not liking it, then you'll have another toy in your collection. It's win-win! :pleasantry:
 
I feel your pain

Hey,
I am in the exact situation with you. My wife had a boyfriend (21 years ago) who put a gun in her face and HATES them. I mean HATE HATE HATE with every expression I can. When we got married I was a LEO (Cop) and she knew it I would be coming with a gun and something to get used to. She originally asked I keep it locked in a safe with ammo separate, I told her I would not do that because , God forbid, if an intruder came in, I was not going to say "Excuse me, but before you harm us, let me get my gun out of the closet", All she asks now is keep it out of her sight, She doesn't like to hug me while I have it on me. She has gone to the range with me 2 times in 16 years.

the key is NOT TO PUSH IT! I would encourage you to talk to her about letting you keep it loaded and unlocked but beyond that, let her get used to it.

Message me if you need any further info or questions answered. Just remember, Take it SLOW.
 
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