Letter to a thug


New member
This was forwarded to me from a recent student. She thought Id' like it. She was right.

It's a letter to a would-be robber - enjoy!:biggrin:

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me Downtown (Downtown, Tucson)

I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!

I believe this was originally posted on craigslist in Atlanta, GA and was represented as happening in Atlanta, not Tucson, but it's the thought that counts. :)
Maybe this poor thug keeps moving and running into the same career oriented obstacle?

One of his buddies should tell him NYC and Chicago are Free Crime Zones?
I love the idea of something bad happening to a thug, :laugh: but I hope that in reality, none of us would try 'reverse robbery' ; We do not have a legal right to do this! Of course, the perp should have been detained until a LEO arrived to arrest the crappy SOB.
It's funny in some ways, not so funny in others. Seroiusly think it's a fabrication, as it also popped up on Hawaii CL. As most know, CC is not legal here in PRHI without a permit. Highly doubt that the few folks who have a HI permit were involved in this incident.

If you carfully read the "letter", you will see that there are several things the "gun owner" did that would be serious if not "felony" offenses. If interpreted the wrong way, it could put "gun owners" in general in a bad light. :nono:

I wonder how many cities/states this has been posted in.

made me chuckle yes.. but I don't think it's real. maybe just sending a message to the thugs... which in that case I hope some read it and think twice before doing anything stupid.
Maybe this poor thug keeps moving and running into the same career oriented obstacle?

One of his buddies should tell him NYC and Chicago are Free Crime Zones?

I don't know what are the odds that the same guy tries to mug these people that their girlfriends just bought them all new 1911 Kimbers? If it's the same chick..........I need her number!!!:biggrin:

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