I like a laser on the small pocket pistols. They have a very small sight radius and even smaller sights. Also, when you need to use them, I can focus on the attacker and not the front sight of my pistol.
However, I also agree that you need to practice without them and make sure you are competent without them. Finally, don't go cheap. I have seen the cheaper lasers switch off during recoil. Also, I like the Crimson Trace as they are not constantly on. I have a friend who took his pistol out of the case and then realized he left the laser on when he cased it.
Regarding flashlights, I have to use one anyways since I have others in my house. When I am searching my house; I have a flashlight in my hand. If I see someone and have to draw, I drop the flashlight (on a lanyard) and then turn on the flashlight on my pistol. As far as giving away my position, I suppose I am doing that. But I am also a middle aged fat man so my ninja days are pretty much over. If he sees me coming and decides to jump out the window and run away, I'm fine with that.