I don't know what gun forums you have been on but it can't have been more than a cursory look. I don't know of one "tin-foil hat" member on here unless it is you. I belong to several gun forums and, except for a rare OP that doesn't seem to do more than post one wild statement like yours never to be heard from again, I haven't run into one that was a "40-something still living with the Mom and a Command Post in the basement". Most of those on this forum are fantastic, patriotic, freedom loving, knowledgeable and very savvy individuals, men and women, of many ages. We are here to share, to teach or to learn. We know the seriousness of making a commitment to carry and understand that learning and training to be proficient is part of that commitment. Those who are regulars on here are always willing to help a person new to firearms or to carry and answer any questions they may have. We are active citizens of this great country and, we have every right to discuss with others if we disagree with decisions being made by our politicians, irregardless of their party affiliation.
-----As a trained lifelong historian, I can attest that our Founding Fathers urged all those who followed them to be vigilant of our elected leaders. They understood that many times throughout history all great powers downfall began when their political leaders stopped being responsive to the citizens and abused their powers. Some of us are concerned that too many in both parties have forgotten their powers are from the citizens. You don't have to agree, but don't dismiss our concerns thinking we have no right to them.
-----Although I don't have local regulars on this forum to create a local show or sit down at their place like you mentioned for the car shows, I have had invitations to "come by and shoot with me" from some across this country. As far as gun shows, in my neck of the woods, those attending have consistently been respectful of exhibiters and others attending the show. Many times I have had someone tell me about their firearm like the one I would be checking and I have done the same for others. And, I can't speak for your part of the country but those in my town that attend gun shows are private citizens, LEO, couples, many women, single and as a couple, some families, all colors, military, young adult and senior citizen. I haven't seen one person with a "tin-foil hat". Yes, I would venture to say average people with families and mortgages, etc. Your car clubs don't hold a corner on these "normal everyday folks". Just as your car owners enjoy tinkering with their cars to make them special, we "normal" gun owners on this forum and at local gun shows enjoy finding that special gun, maybe "tricking" it out with something special and becoming proficient with it.
-----As already mentioned, if you don't like this or other gun forums, nobody is forcing you to be part of them or our forum. You have the option of being respectful to those posting here. But I think most on this forum will not accept your condemnation that "we" have a problem.