festus
God Bless Our Troops!!!
> In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now
> living in the United States , and said, 'Once again,
> the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see
> the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save
> 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans'
>
> He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, 'You have 6 months
> to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for
> 40 days and 40 nights.'
>
> Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping
> in his yard- but no Ark.
>
> 'Noah!' He roared, 'I'm about to start the
> rain! Where is the Ark ?'
>
> 'Forgive me, Lord,' begged Noah, 'but things
> have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been
> arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler
> system.
>
> My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood
> zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding
> the height limitations. We had to go to the Development
> Appeal Board for a decision.
>
> Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be
> posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other
> overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark
> 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be
> coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
>
> Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on
> cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I
> tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the
> wood to save the owls - but no go!
>
> When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights
> group sued me.
>
> They insisted that I was confining wild animals against
> their will. They argued the accommodations were too
> restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many
> animals in a confined space.
>
> Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until
> they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your
> proposed flood.
>
> I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human
> Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed
> to hire for my building crew.
>
> Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card
> status of most of the people who want to work.
>
> The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist
> I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building
> experience.
>
> To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets,
> claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with
> endangered species.
>
> So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years
> for me to finish this Ark. '
>
> Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a
> rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder
> and asked, 'You mean you're not going to destroy
> the world?'
>
> 'No,' said the Lord. 'The government beat me to
> it.'
> living in the United States , and said, 'Once again,
> the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see
> the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save
> 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans'
>
> He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, 'You have 6 months
> to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for
> 40 days and 40 nights.'
>
> Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping
> in his yard- but no Ark.
>
> 'Noah!' He roared, 'I'm about to start the
> rain! Where is the Ark ?'
>
> 'Forgive me, Lord,' begged Noah, 'but things
> have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been
> arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler
> system.
>
> My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood
> zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding
> the height limitations. We had to go to the Development
> Appeal Board for a decision.
>
> Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be
> posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other
> overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark
> 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be
> coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
>
> Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on
> cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I
> tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the
> wood to save the owls - but no go!
>
> When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights
> group sued me.
>
> They insisted that I was confining wild animals against
> their will. They argued the accommodations were too
> restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many
> animals in a confined space.
>
> Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until
> they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your
> proposed flood.
>
> I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human
> Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed
> to hire for my building crew.
>
> Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card
> status of most of the people who want to work.
>
> The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist
> I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building
> experience.
>
> To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets,
> claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with
> endangered species.
>
> So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years
> for me to finish this Ark. '
>
> Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a
> rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder
> and asked, 'You mean you're not going to destroy
> the world?'
>
> 'No,' said the Lord. 'The government beat me to
> it.'