AZSATT
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Grandpa gets audited by the IRS, and when entering the auditor's office, he wisely brings his attorney with him.
Grandpa: "Good morning, sonny. Why are you auditing me?"
Auditor: "Well, sir. Your file shows your occupation as 'gambler' and your standard of living has us, well... wanting to verify a few things."
Grandpa: "I'm a pretty dern good gambler. Care for a demonstration?"
Auditor: "Uh, sure. What have you got in mind?"
Grandpa: "I'll bet you $5,000 I can bite my own eye. You game?"
Auditor: scoffs, then replies "Sure. You're on."
Grandpa pulls out his glass eye and bites it, then replaces the glass eye, and smiles. The auditor frowns.
Grandpa: "That'll be $5,000 unless you want another bet? I'll bet you another $5,000 I can bite my other eye."
Auditor: scoffs again, clearly seeing that grandpa is not blind. "You're on."
Grandpa pulls out his dentures and bites his other eye, and replaces his dentures.
Grandpa: "That's $10,000 right there, sonny."
The auditor is now clearly nervous.
Grandpa: "Tell you what, sonny. I'll bet you double-or-nothing I can stand on this end of your desk and pee all the way over into that waste basket on the other end and not get a drop on your paperwork. What do you say?"
Auditor: he surveys the distance, and concludes there's no way this old man can pull this off. Being in the hole 10 grand, he says, "Deal. You're on."
Grandpa climbs up on the auditor's desk, drops his trousers and commences to pissing all over the auditor's desk and paperwork, and doesn't come close to the waste basket.
Auditor: jumps up and exclaims, "Yeah! You lose! I'm even!"
Lawyer: leans forward and slaps a hand across his unbelieving forehead.
Auditor: asks the attorney, "what's wrong with you?"
Lawyer: "My client bet me $50,000 this morning that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and you'd be happy about it."
Grandpa: "Good morning, sonny. Why are you auditing me?"
Auditor: "Well, sir. Your file shows your occupation as 'gambler' and your standard of living has us, well... wanting to verify a few things."
Grandpa: "I'm a pretty dern good gambler. Care for a demonstration?"
Auditor: "Uh, sure. What have you got in mind?"
Grandpa: "I'll bet you $5,000 I can bite my own eye. You game?"
Auditor: scoffs, then replies "Sure. You're on."
Grandpa pulls out his glass eye and bites it, then replaces the glass eye, and smiles. The auditor frowns.
Grandpa: "That'll be $5,000 unless you want another bet? I'll bet you another $5,000 I can bite my other eye."
Auditor: scoffs again, clearly seeing that grandpa is not blind. "You're on."
Grandpa pulls out his dentures and bites his other eye, and replaces his dentures.
Grandpa: "That's $10,000 right there, sonny."
The auditor is now clearly nervous.
Grandpa: "Tell you what, sonny. I'll bet you double-or-nothing I can stand on this end of your desk and pee all the way over into that waste basket on the other end and not get a drop on your paperwork. What do you say?"
Auditor: he surveys the distance, and concludes there's no way this old man can pull this off. Being in the hole 10 grand, he says, "Deal. You're on."
Grandpa climbs up on the auditor's desk, drops his trousers and commences to pissing all over the auditor's desk and paperwork, and doesn't come close to the waste basket.
Auditor: jumps up and exclaims, "Yeah! You lose! I'm even!"
Lawyer: leans forward and slaps a hand across his unbelieving forehead.
Auditor: asks the attorney, "what's wrong with you?"
Lawyer: "My client bet me $50,000 this morning that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and you'd be happy about it."
