Sorry for your lost!!! Its a good thing you didn't get your gun, Who knows what would have happend. My best wishes are with you and your family. TAKE CARE!!!
I understand where you are coming from. My beloved MIL had alzheimer's in 1981. She went to hospital when Dad cannot take care of her anymore. When she first went to hospital, Dad cried each time saying that him and Mom hadn't been separated for even a day; that apart from going to work, they have always been together. Hubby and I ended up buying a house two houses away from them and go see them every other weekend. One time we visited, they were both near the sunroom and was waving to us goodbye. It was the most beautiful sight for me. We continued to visit her until I cannot stand it anymore and told my husband that I just want to visit Dad and take care of him because I want to remember them as they were: together and waving us goodbye. I was glad hubby understood. So did Dad. We lost Dad earlier than Mom, 5 years apart. They were my best friends.MY Mother was always my "sounding board" in my youth. My Dad was the "teacher of life and proper attitudes". For a rebellious independent soul such as I was (still am, for that matter) there WAS some conflict! LOL!
My Dad left us in '03, all the "kids" and Mom rotated shifts at the Hospice Home while he went down. (I insisted, I had done volunteer work at our local HH and I had seen how many of those folks die alone, abandoned by their freinds and family in their final extremes.) That was NOT going to be the way my Father went down. He was 83.
My Mom is still kicking at 91, but she knows not who she is or what her life has been about. I was up to see her last August..... sorry sight to see a person with her wit and intelligence completely lose it. (Is that better than KNOWING that you are going, as my Dad did? I don't know.)
Anyway, my sister reported last night that the Hospice People believe that she is in her last stages. I expect to have to go to a funeral this month. Sis wanted me to come up to see her before that happens. I think, overall, I would rather prefer to remember her as she was, not as a pitiful soul with a wrecked mind, who didn't know who I was last time around.
If I thought it would help her plight..... I'd go. It cannot, so I won't. The last trip busted me up inside enough.
I've already told the wife, that when I go, no funeral, no "visitation"..... if someone wants a wake for me, they can go down to my "local" and tip a few pints in my memory. I would prefer to have my life remembered, not my death.
GG
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