Dealing With An Anti-Gun Wife


UKCatFan012

UKCatFan012

New member
I saw this posted somewhere , but am not sure if it was on here or another site. If it's a duplicate of a thread already started on USA Carry, moderators please feel free to delete it.
So does anyone else have to deal with an anti-gun spouce/wife like I do? Her mother "brainwashed" her against guns years ago when she was a child, and she now refuses to look at, touch, learn to shoot, or even go out with me if I am carrying a firearm (I do have my KY CCL). Her opinion is that "You are only looking for trouble if you carry a gun".
Her mother told me over the years that "I will not have a gun in my house. Your father-in-law does not own any guns, and you shouldn't either!" This was the line I got for years from her, and she had resigned herself to the fact that if an armed intruder broke into her house, she was going to let the perp shoot her instead of trying to defend herself. This is now my wife's thought process as well. Go figure, I sure as shooting can't
When my Farther-in-Law passed away in 1985, Mom-in-Law was going through some of his things, including four old Air Force footlockers he had had in the service. To her utter surprise, shock, and disgust, she found four handguns that Dad-in-Law had in the footlockers along with a Remington 870 12 guage pump shotgun. To put it mildly, she went ape-s*it crazy, called my wife screaming about them, and I had to go over and immediately remove them from her house. That really weren't so bad - I wound up with five new firearms!
Now that my Mother-In-Law has passed away (Auugust 2012), I have been trying to convince my wife to let me teach her to safely handle and shoot a pistol, as she still wants nothing to do with a shotgun or rifle. I've almost got her convinced to let me start her out shooting a Walther P22 I recently got, but she is still very hesitant and is still at "we'll wait and see".
I have been shooting firearms of all kinds since I was 6 years old, and thank God that my Dad and his friends taught me how to safely handle and shoot firearms. I'm still a lot better shot with a rifle and shotgun than I am with a pistol and revolver, but I can hit what I shoot at with a hand gun enought to get the job done. I have completed my CCL class, and have been through several local gun safety courses at the local Fish and Game Club, so I feel confident enogh that I can show my wife how to safely handle and shoot a pistol. I've about given in to suggesting that she go to a gun safety class instead of letting me teach her, but she would probably axe that with "I don't have time to do that!"
So, any others of you live with an anti-gun spouce, and how do you survive the situation? Thanks for your thoughts!
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Hahaha that's funny! My grandma did the same thing to my dad and after grandpa died she found two gov 1911s, a fully functional well oiled m1923 thompson and a 1917 revolver in his Army Air Corps footlocker. She had a mild heart attack when she opened a letter from him that explained that, yes, he smuggled them back and he loves guns. My uncle got them and I suspect my cousin has the Thompson since Uncle Bill passed on. No idea what happened to the 1911s or the 1917 revolver.

My wife was very anti-gun. The MIL is scared of her own shadow and made her kids into cowards, even though my FIL is a hunter with many guns. It takes time. After 10 years, she still makes retarded MSM brady statements, which I very profanely discourage. Carry and don't let her know. Pretty soon she will relax and then find out "on accident" when she brushes against you. You then tell her you have been carrying the whole time and that concealed means concealed. The statement, "well, if you want, I can try and gurgle your name while they beat and rape you and you can raise our kids alone or I can carry and you can shut up" seemed to work for mine, but your results may vary.

Stand your ground but don't force it on her.
 
Maybe showing her this picture of my cowardly wife shooting my p22 will help? Just make sure to feed it CCI stingers so it cycles or she might think it's unsafe, like my wife did.

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Her mother told me over the years that "I will not have a gun in my house. Your father-in-law does not own any guns, and you shouldn't either!"

Then I would have never set foot in her house, just the same as the anti-gun businesses. What can I say, I'm stubborn. It's a shame that the father-in-law never put his foot down on that one. But as far as the wife goes, I think the most important thing would be to show her that guns, nor most of the people who own them, are not demons who "are looking for trouble". Use yourself as an example (this is assuming you have no prior violence or temper issues lol). She needs to see that you're not looking for trouble, but if trouble happens to show up, then you are prepared to defend her as well as yourself. With years of brainwashing from her mother, this will probably be a long, two steps forward, one step back process. But hang in there and hopefully she can be rescued from the dark side.
 
Perhaps if she had a friend join her she would be more inclined to learn. Or suggest that she takes lessons from a female instructor with some of her friends. Having her friends with her will give her support and more confidence. Just a thought!
 
I did forget to tell you what I've told her about me not carrying when we go out.
"If some sleazebag grabs you while we are out, puts a knife to your throat or a gun to your head, and says "Do what I tell you to or I'll kill her!", I'm going to reply "Go ahead, it does not bother her to be a victim!" Then I'm going to look at her and say, "Sorry babe, but you are on your own!"
If I'm carrying CC, I would say the same thing, but then draw and say, "But if you hurt a hair on her head, I'm going to blow that s*it you call brains out the back of your head! So no matter who gets hurt, you are going to get shot and most likely killed, a*shole!"
For some reason she did not particularily care for the part about being on her own, and did not talk to me for two days after I told her that!? Go figure again.
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Anti gun wife

UKCatFan012 said:
I saw this posted somewhere , but am not sure if it was on here or another site. If it's a duplicate of a thread already started on USA Carry, moderators please feel free to delete it.
So does anyone else have to deal with an anti-gun spouce/wife like I do? Her mother "brainwashed" her against guns years ago when she was a child, and she now refuses to look at, touch, learn to shoot, or even go out with me if I am carrying a firearm (I do have my KY CCL). Her opinion is that "You are only looking for trouble if you carry a gun".
Her mother told me over the years that "I will not have a gun in my house. Your father-in-law does not own any guns, and you shouldn't either!" This was the line I got for years from her, and she had resigned herself to the fact that if an armed intruder broke into her house, she was going to let the perp shoot her instead of trying to defend herself. This is now my wife's thought process as well. Go figure, I sure as shooting can't
When my Farther-in-Law passed away in 1985, Mom-in-Law was going through some of his things, including four old Air Force footlockers he had had in the service. To her utter surprise, shock, and disgust, she found four handguns that Dad-in-Law had in the footlockers along with a Remington 870 12 guage pump shotgun. To put it mildly, she went ape-s*it crazy, called my wife screaming about them, and I had to go over and immediately remove them from her house. That really weren't so bad - I wound up with five new firearms!
Now that my Mother-In-Law has passed away (Auugust 2012), I have been trying to convince my wife to let me teach her to safely handle and shoot a pistol, as she still wants nothing to do with a shotgun or rifle. I've almost got her convinced to let me start her out shooting a Walther P22 I recently got, but she is still very hesitant and is still at "we'll wait and see".
I have been shooting firearms of all kinds since I was 6 years old, and thank God that my Dad and his friends taught me how to safely handle and shoot firearms. I'm still a lot better shot with a rifle and shotgun than I am with a pistol and revolver, but I can hit what I shoot at with a hand gun enought to get the job done. I have completed my CCL class, and have been through several local gun safety courses at the local Fish and Game Club, so I feel confident enogh that I can show my wife how to safely handle and shoot a pistol. I've about given in to suggesting that she go to a gun safety class instead of letting me teach her, but she would probably axe that with "I don't have time to do that!"
So, any others of you live with an anti-gun spouce, and how do you survive the situation? Thanks for your thoughts!
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I'm going through the sane. My wife didn't know me when I was a cop and always carried off duty. Mow that were in VA I carry all the time. She was telling me how she couldn't bring herself to shoot anyone. 1/2 joking I asked if she would use a bean bag round in my shot gum. She said she would, so I bought a full mag of them. It's a start. Although she has said if she runs out of bean bags she'll fight them off with the shotgun other than putting real 00 buck Drives me crazy. Especially since I'm a Firearms Instructor!
 
Sorry guys i'v never had that problem, dad was a gun guy, mom didn't shoot but had been around them all her life, now my better half dont care what I bring home as long as its got sights she likes. no matter what the gun pistol, rifle, shotgun, if its got nice sights she shoots it, we have had out permits for some time now, get out to shoot when ever we can, also my grandaughter has been going with us for about a year now, and I have to try real hard to do as well as she does
 
I don't have your problem but do have a comment. Your wife certainly has the right to not have anything to do with guns. But what no one has a right to do is inflict their opinion on their spouse or forbid their spouse to do anything.
 
My wife was raised in a household that was terrified of guns. When we first were married I was not allowed to have guns at the house. It took alot of patience and casual, low keyed discussions before I was able to have guns around. I had to promise her that when my pistol wasn't on my side it would be locked in a safe. We did go out to the desert to shoot and I took her a 10/22 to plink with, helped her to understand gun safety, loaded the rifle and spent time teaching her and what do you know she loved it. We now have a nice collection started and both have our CC permits. I carry wherever I can and she has become quite comfortable with that idea. So don't give up, have ALOT of patience and when you get her to go to the range make it all about her. Our first time shooting, I spent more time focusing on her and not much time shooting and now all is good. Good luck.
 
Mine is..different. We're not married, but do live together so I suppose it's along the same concept.

She was raised in a house full of firearms (her father owns quite a few rifles, shotguns and handguns), but I guess never took much interest in them. I tried to take her out twice, and started her with a .22LR. Apparently it was "too big" for her and she was terrified\shaking, and wouldn't squeeze the trigger. I tried again another time, but same response. She was generally always around them with me since I had a couple rifles when we met and moved in together - adding the handgun was an interesting step that was much easier than I thought. I got it, showed it to her and she had no interest in it. I started carrying it CC for a few days, then starting OC'ing it and didn't really get much reaction other than her looking at it. That continued for a couple days and now it's just there for her. She's never really said it to me, but I've overheard her saying it to a couple people that it makes her feel safer that I carry.

I've been trying to get her to shoot, but she have been mentioning over the last couple months it would have to be "small, cute, and dark pink" before she'd shoot it - I've tried explaining the concept of the different ammo (the one she showed me she liked was a 2" .357 magnum), but it's all about looks; maybe a light .38SPL load wouldn't be too bad..

For me it's all about baby steps and slowly trying to warm her up to the idea. Just slowly and carefully put things into place, and eventually everything will fall in and line up. :yes4:
 
My father-in-law has a lot of guns and taught both of his girls how to handle a gun safely and shoot it properly. My wife is pretty good shot! In fact, with a rifle, she's way better than I am.

I don't think my wife and I would have made it out of the "courting" stage of our relationship (together for 20 years, married for almost 15) if either one of us was so adamant against something the other enjoys. Since we got married she has taken up dog training and showing. If she did that before we were married, and I was afraid of dogs, we would have never made it to the alter. Same goes for if she was afraid of guns (I love to shoot.)
 
Mine was not rabid about it. But she did not see a reason for carrying a gun. An extended period of exposing her to both sides of the loony tunes reports of the positive and negative reports on the results of being armed; and not. It gets hard. Much of the media and our government says extreme and unsubstantiated things on the side of eliminating guns.

Gun supporters (including the NRA) waxes so psychotic at times they hurt their cause.

There is so much dis/mis-information out there, and no real way to validate much of it, that it can be very difficult to see let alone present a coherent and believable picture. She initially simply refused to read articles/editorials in the American Rifleman. And many other mainstream publications. There are simply too many raving maniacs on both sides. And no way to vet the differences.

The media/government/billionaires with an axe to grind have so distorted reality (Oh, sort of like all of our politicians) it can be practically impossible to present reality (as you perceive it) to anyone else. Particularly without them thinking you are crazy as well.

Current status. Concealed carry permit, just got her a revolver of her own. Working on the reality of proper firearms handling. It is incredible what sort of attitude can develop about the stupid rituals you men have made up about handling firearms.
 
Perhaps you could show her the picture of my wife when I surprised her with her first gun, a P22. I had arranged with the range officer to put it in one of the club pistol cases and hand it to her as if it was one of the club Rugers. When she opened the case it took a while for her to register that it was the Walther that she had handled in a gun shop we had visited recently. She had particularly liked the way the pistol fitted her small hand.

My wife has been a nurse for 35 odd years and at the time of this picture a grandmother for 2 years. She has no interest in sports of any kind but in the last 10 years has found pistol shooting one that she can enjoy. If you met her the last thing you would think was that she was competent with firearms. (In New Zealand out of 4 million odd people only about 3,000 are licensed to own pistols )

The look on her face when she found out this was her gun - priceless!

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Thankfully, I married a woman who at least puts up with my newfound (and expensive) hobby. Last year for my birthday, she set up some range time with my grandpa (who has been a 30+ year reserve Leo) and it was the first time shooting something other than my red rider bb gun! Boy did she open up a can of worms!!! Since then I have obtained my ccw and purchased a few handguns, shotgun, and most recently an ar. Along with this live of guns, I have become an adamant protector of our 2a rights. My wife has even ventured to the range a few times with me, and I hope to get her out more in the coming year!!! Slowly combine your wife to go to the range, once she shoots, she will see how much fun it is!!
 
Though my wife is finally warming to guns, she was pretty scared of them for at least the first 18-19 years of our marriage. To be honest, I pretty much let her know that I didn't give a damn what she thought of them. My guns are part of the entire package, take it or leave it. (we have been very happily married for over 21 years)
 
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