What happened to this thread?
- Thread starter XD40FAN
- Start date
Ringo
A WATCHMAN
You don't have to look at anything, try some self control, even common sense.
F
Flanmedic51
Guest
Ohhhh wow................
Off topic means off topic. If you want funny stories, post some. (Of course, someone will complain if you do, but, so what?
)
That is what the political forum is for.
BC1
,
OK XD, I'll give you a funny one at my expense. Back in 1986 we got our first income property. We inherited it so there was no survey or inspections needed. Now we're real proud to be landlords. A woman and her daughter wanted to rent the house because her invalid sister lived next door. My wife says have a heart, they don't have much money. Gives me the big sad baby-blues. So OK, I don't take a security deposit and let them rent for $500 per month. Nice little brick cottage in Otisville, NY built in 1912. It's about 40 miles from our home so I don't get there very often.
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All goes well for about a year. Then one day the rent check doesn't come. I wait, still no check. Wife is sympathetic, tells me give them more time. Finally three weeks and no rent money so I call... the phone has been disconnected. So we take a ride out to see what's up. Then shock set-in. They're gone. Moved out. Stole the woodburning stove and stuffed a quilt in the hole in the wall. The furnace is broken and the heat is off. It's 20 degrees in the house. The pipes have frozen and have burst inside the kitchen and bathroom walls. The hot water heater pipes are broken. I go out back to look around and find my house has been burned by an out-of-control barbecue fire that climbed the wall. Clapboard is destroyed. I'm yelling the "F" word more times than Andrew Dice Clay at a strip club. I call the furnace repair guy and tell him to come fix it. I tell him fix it but turn it off because the pipes are frozen. He fixes it and leaves the heat on. I come back the next day and the place is flooded. Rugs ruined. Wood floors ruined. So I take-off two weeks from work. I tear out the walls and fix the pipes. New hot water heater. Hired SERVPRO to drain and dry it. New rugs, floors. etc. I'm tired and broke at this point. We decide not to rent it again but rather sell it. A young couple makes an offer and we're in contract to sell. They had FHA financing so there's always a hassle. Then I find out the invalid sister's house is built over the property line. It runs right through the kitchen of their house (however the ehll that happened). And guess who's living there? The woman and her daughter. The invalid died and she inherited the house... and it's built on my land. I'm ready to pull out my hair. Our lawyer tells us here's nothing we can do. We'll have to set a new property line 15 feet from the other house and give them the land.
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Now the buyer learns of this and wants to offer less for the house or he'll walk. So we knock the price down by $10,000 and he's happy. Now we go to closing with our lawyer. The bank realizes there's been no pest inspection so we can't close until it's done. My lawyer (who is now NYS Republican Senator John Bonacic) calls a pest control company and the guy agrees to run out there immediately. He calls back and says there's a hole in the facia from a carpenter bee. ONE FRIGGIN CARPENTER BEE!!!!! FHA won't close until it's repaired. So we have another guy run over with a new facia and replace it while the guy from Terminix sprays to kill any other bees. We sit around the law office playing cards waiting. Finally everything is OK and we close on the property. That house took 6 months off my life. I never got anything from the woman and her daughter.
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The trials and tribulations of life. Just can't make this crap up. I hope that story gave you a chuckle. It gave me an ulcer.
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All goes well for about a year. Then one day the rent check doesn't come. I wait, still no check. Wife is sympathetic, tells me give them more time. Finally three weeks and no rent money so I call... the phone has been disconnected. So we take a ride out to see what's up. Then shock set-in. They're gone. Moved out. Stole the woodburning stove and stuffed a quilt in the hole in the wall. The furnace is broken and the heat is off. It's 20 degrees in the house. The pipes have frozen and have burst inside the kitchen and bathroom walls. The hot water heater pipes are broken. I go out back to look around and find my house has been burned by an out-of-control barbecue fire that climbed the wall. Clapboard is destroyed. I'm yelling the "F" word more times than Andrew Dice Clay at a strip club. I call the furnace repair guy and tell him to come fix it. I tell him fix it but turn it off because the pipes are frozen. He fixes it and leaves the heat on. I come back the next day and the place is flooded. Rugs ruined. Wood floors ruined. So I take-off two weeks from work. I tear out the walls and fix the pipes. New hot water heater. Hired SERVPRO to drain and dry it. New rugs, floors. etc. I'm tired and broke at this point. We decide not to rent it again but rather sell it. A young couple makes an offer and we're in contract to sell. They had FHA financing so there's always a hassle. Then I find out the invalid sister's house is built over the property line. It runs right through the kitchen of their house (however the ehll that happened). And guess who's living there? The woman and her daughter. The invalid died and she inherited the house... and it's built on my land. I'm ready to pull out my hair. Our lawyer tells us here's nothing we can do. We'll have to set a new property line 15 feet from the other house and give them the land.
----------------------------------------
Now the buyer learns of this and wants to offer less for the house or he'll walk. So we knock the price down by $10,000 and he's happy. Now we go to closing with our lawyer. The bank realizes there's been no pest inspection so we can't close until it's done. My lawyer (who is now NYS Republican Senator John Bonacic) calls a pest control company and the guy agrees to run out there immediately. He calls back and says there's a hole in the facia from a carpenter bee. ONE FRIGGIN CARPENTER BEE!!!!! FHA won't close until it's repaired. So we have another guy run over with a new facia and replace it while the guy from Terminix sprays to kill any other bees. We sit around the law office playing cards waiting. Finally everything is OK and we close on the property. That house took 6 months off my life. I never got anything from the woman and her daughter.
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The trials and tribulations of life. Just can't make this crap up. I hope that story gave you a chuckle. It gave me an ulcer.
That is horrible! However when it rains it pours! Sorry to hear that happened to you! My wife gets on me about being to hard on people but in my mind I think the world is too soft! All I'm saying about the thread is that it seems people wanting to get there political agenda across and knowing that people steer clear of the political forum can try to do it in this forum. Maybe the moderator needs to make it just jokes and sports period. Awhile back it was 90% humor.
mappow
New member
Forum: Off-Topic
Anything NOT related to firearms and concealed or open carry. This can be about sports, jokes, anything that stays within the rules of the site
You're droning on about something that you can control. IF you don't like the content of the thread, please feel free to avoid it.
Anything NOT related to firearms and concealed or open carry. This can be about sports, jokes, anything that stays within the rules of the site
You're droning on about something that you can control. IF you don't like the content of the thread, please feel free to avoid it.
tricolordad
Banned
I got one for you.
A few summers ago, I was working third shift at a plastic company. First night, i noticed that all the people were a bit...off. Second night, I got to know a few of them and around 3 am, one claimed to be a state champion track star in high school and kept bragging about his "accomplishments." After a while I got sick of him and told him to prove it by jumping over the wall by the loading bay, the wall was over 8 feet high and had a low fence that slanted outwards at the top. I marked the spot with orange dye. He took off and jumped and went lateral and slammed into the wall about 2/3 the way up sideways. He got up saying his foot slipped and got a broom and swept the concrete and did it again. He slammed into it ass backwards and hit the ground. He tried a third time and almost made it but hit the fence at the top and carved up his arm and side. We were all laughing for hours. Around 6 am he was telling me how much his arm hurt and how he was afraid to use the first aid kit because the supers would find out in the morning. I told him that all mammals had anesthetic in their saliva, he was like Uh uh so I told him t think about it. Al dogs, cats, mice etc lick their wounds and they heal much quicker. So he asked what to do, i told him to get a dixie cup from the breakroom and spit into it until it was halfway full and use a plastic spoon to get all the food chunks out and then spread it over his cuts with the back side of the spoon. He was in the breakroom until 8 spitting and watching tv, when the boss got there at 8:30, he looked in the breakroom window, kicked the door open and goes "what the f... Are you doing?!" The idiot started telling him how all mammals can heal themselves woth saliva and the boss picked up the phone and put it through the intercom. About 50 people coming in on first shift heard it.
A few summers ago, I was working third shift at a plastic company. First night, i noticed that all the people were a bit...off. Second night, I got to know a few of them and around 3 am, one claimed to be a state champion track star in high school and kept bragging about his "accomplishments." After a while I got sick of him and told him to prove it by jumping over the wall by the loading bay, the wall was over 8 feet high and had a low fence that slanted outwards at the top. I marked the spot with orange dye. He took off and jumped and went lateral and slammed into the wall about 2/3 the way up sideways. He got up saying his foot slipped and got a broom and swept the concrete and did it again. He slammed into it ass backwards and hit the ground. He tried a third time and almost made it but hit the fence at the top and carved up his arm and side. We were all laughing for hours. Around 6 am he was telling me how much his arm hurt and how he was afraid to use the first aid kit because the supers would find out in the morning. I told him that all mammals had anesthetic in their saliva, he was like Uh uh so I told him t think about it. Al dogs, cats, mice etc lick their wounds and they heal much quicker. So he asked what to do, i told him to get a dixie cup from the breakroom and spit into it until it was halfway full and use a plastic spoon to get all the food chunks out and then spread it over his cuts with the back side of the spoon. He was in the breakroom until 8 spitting and watching tv, when the boss got there at 8:30, he looked in the breakroom window, kicked the door open and goes "what the f... Are you doing?!" The idiot started telling him how all mammals can heal themselves woth saliva and the boss picked up the phone and put it through the intercom. About 50 people coming in on first shift heard it.
Rhino
New member
I posted some new stuff for you.
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