Thoughts on "what gun do I buy for my wife/significant other ???"


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Thoughts about……..”What firearm should I buy for my wife/significant other… OR FOR ME??”

I regularly post to buy a firearm like you buy shoes. I use that analogy because everyone’s feet are different, re shoes…. as are their hands different, re firearms. I happen to like Merrell shoes, but I’m not about to suggest that everyone looking for shoes go buy Merrell shoes. Everyone has to decide for themselves how a particular shoe fits. I know generally what kind of shoes my wife likes, but I’d not stretch that knowledge so far as to guess at what handgun is comfortable for her hands. There are some here who say it doesn’t matter how a gun feels in your hands, that you can learn to shoot anything. Perhaps that’s true, but over the years, I’ve seen that not to be true with the majority of new shooters. A good shooter, can usually do well with an “uncomfortable” firearm, but new shooters tend to do better with one that “feels right” in their hands. Besides, if you buy a pair of shoes for someone, and they don’t like the fit, you can usually return ‘em. Firearms don’t normally work that way. If you guess wrong, you’ll usually lose money on the re-sale, or trade-in. I think we would do well not to use a physical description ( “my wife is a tiny thing and couldn’t handle a large caliber…..”) as a basis for suggesting which firearm someone else should buy for their wife/girl friend. Many folks here got irate when a gun shop owner suggested that a 1911 was too much gun for a woman…… yet those same folks here rush to suggest a “wheel gun for a lady”, or “she’ll love the light weight of this airweight.” Probably 60% of the ladies I’ve taught to shoot, and keep a firearm in their home, have chosen a 1911 variant. The key point here is, THEY CHOSE IT, after shooting it…. And they’re very happy with it. There are trade-offs to any handgun purchase….. less weight = more perceived recoil….. longer barrel = longer sight radius = potentially better accuracy….. more weight = less perceived recoil = more weight to carry….. and on, and on, and on….. Many of those trade-offs are important to some, and unimportant to others, but it’s not my place to assume who those trade-offs apply to. Touchy point…… I don’t believe that caliber is all that important to a new shooter. Too much caliber, too soon, may scare a new shooter away. I teach basics with .22 LR firearms. If a shooter’s given choice of technique allows them to place their shots on their selected target, proper technique will lend itself to effective recoil management, and allow the proficient use of virtually any caliber.

Sure, it’s nice to be able to shoot a particular firearm before you buy it, but not always possible. Many times, however, it is possible to handle many firearms and be able to get some idea whether or not one likes the way a given firearm feels in their hands, and I think that’s the best way to start. I’ve offered many times on INGO to let folks shoot what firearms I have, and have access to….in order to enable them to make a more enlightened choice when it’s time to lay down the money. Everyone who has taken me up on my offer has benefited from the outing, and has either solidified their choice, or they’ve changed their minds and chosen a different firearm. I’d like to see all of us make a similar offer to all new shooters. It would bring our shooting community closer together, and tend to retain shooters by helping them to be pleased with their first purchase.
Just my two cents, as always….. for the opportunity to shoot my mouth off.

My Suggestion

Happy Halloween Members (Don't eat too much candy!!!!)

When I worked ft time as a LEO, I often had citizens ask me this same question. I would advise them to go with a .22 long rifle revolver, made by H&R (No, I don't own stock in the company!!!). I would point out the features: 9-shot, double action, break open design (which helps a novice to eject empty casings effectively), low recoil,, ease of operation and low cost of practice ammo.
I would suggest that they practiced shooting at a target no larger then a small melon (or large grapefruit). I ended this advice saying , that if they could put several of their shots in the target's approximate facial area, that these hits would probably produce very effective results.

when I first glanced at your post I thought " na to long to read on a I-phone " then I decided to go for it and I for one am darned glad I did. I have not thought about it the way you have put forth in your indepth and enlightening writing.
I for one won't be so quick to jump in any one direction as far as hand gun selection again. I have to admit I am/was one of thoes people to only go with what I precieved to be the right choice of gun. I have a small selection that I can and will offer for trying.
Sir I want to say thank you
I appreciate your comments. Every once in a while, I come up with something that makes sense....

Shoot safe...... Jay
Well worth the read..

The one piece missing from your article (IMHO) is Sales People influence..

A person buying a weapon needs to have firmly implanted in their heads WHY they are purchasing a weapon and what factors best describe a gun that suits THAT purpose. That way when a Salesperson starts having flashbacks to Beirut, or Iraq, or Viet Nam, the person can politely listen, but then move on with the proper choice for them and what THEY want/need.

My wife is 6' tall and does not like revolvers.. She has shot in the past (in the Gov't) and recently we purchased her a gun of her own.. We live in Florida a good Concealed Weapons state ( One factor in our decision making process)..

After my wife handling a number of guns, and after me talking her down off of a few ex military raa raa "you gotta have some real firepower in combat" salesmen.. She settled on a Sig P238 (Colt Mustang copy)..
It was a little expensive for a .380, but she is well pleased with HER purchase, and the gun works flawlessly.
It is better for her (and I) than a .380 like a Ruger LCP.. It is just a little bigger and fits the hand much nicer and is very high quality.. (I digress)..
Now don't misunderstand me.. My wife can handle a .40 or a 1911 with no problem, but who wants to lug that thing around in the 98 degree humid Florida heat all day??
We don't have a lot of money, so 15 guns is not an option for us right now.. So a wise choice was important to get right the 1st time.
As you are speaking to in your article, I wanted this to be my wife's decision, so she would have some skin in the game for value and satisfaction.. IF I chose the weapon for her, then she would never be 100% satisfied with it.. As it is, she is very satisfied with HER choice, and glad I didn't let a salesperson sell her into being strapped for mercenary combat readiness!!!.
When I first read the tiltle of this thread, I though here's another guy who's going to make a mistake by buying his wife or GF a handgun without thinking about her "need" to be involved in the process.

I'm glad to see I was mistaken.
The one piece missing from your article (IMHO) is Sales People influence..

Well sir, I thought about that, and I decided that anyone who goes shopping for anything, and allows any given item to be "sold to them" as opposed to someone who "intelligently makes a purchase", deserves what they get.

ps..... In my opinion, of course.......

I just bought my wife a tarus judge 410/45 she walks in the park next to our home it is very isolated she also walks her lab as well there are problems with cyotee here as well as the danger of two legged vermin. I load it 410/45/410/45/410/45 most shooting incidents happen at 60 feet or less. I have taught her if you pull the trigger once keep shooting until its empty betterr to be judged by twelve than carried by six.this weapon takes into account the shooter may be nervous or not great a shot. we would all like to think with practice we could hit what we aimed at but I would rather she spit some #4 with the slugs I am a former police officer so I am not new to firearms

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