When governments fail, The CCW Badge-Holder stands TALL.


My name is HotRod. I wear a CCW Badge.


Yes, I am one of the couragous few who dare to dawn the much-malined CCW badge. But those who have read my posts know that I ware it with honor. I am the man that MS13 (the mexican drug gang) knows as El Diablo De Los Mattemorralles (THE SHRUBBERY DEVIL). Call me the terror that quacks in the night. I wear five CCW badges.

BADGE number one is in the center of my tri-fold wallet, so that when i open it, the CCW badge is bordered by my ccw permit and my Players Club Gold Card...which entitles me to discounts on food, lodging, and great times around the world, Baby.

BADGE NUMBER two is glued to the holslter of my main carry piece, a RUGER Super Redhawk chambered in .480 Ruger, with a 3-9X50 scope.

Badge number three..attached to my backup piece (S&W .500)

badge numberfour...on my left ankle next to my Colt Combat commander.

badge number five ... on my right ankle next to my .357 Colt Python.



ON A RECENT CALM EVENING MY LITTLE OKLAHOMA TOWN WAS ATTACKED BY THE IRANIANS AND THE CUBANS. You do not believe me? IT IS only because you rely on the liberal media for your information. FOX NEWS IS LIBERAL...THOUGH THE LEAST LIBERAL OF THE BUNCH.

The iranians set off an EMP BOMB ABOVE our town. The power grid failed. Police cruisers sat idle. Toilets did not flush.

I KNEW IT WAS TIME TO SHELTER-in-place. I sat in my living room, polishing my bayonet and eating wolf brand chili cold from the can. Outside the battle raged. The Iranians and th Cubans, and the gay people from the home improvement channel were lighting up the night with their tracer rounds. I ate my chili and waited.

WAITED...I SAY...FOR MY TIME HAD NOT YET COME. BUT THEN IT CAME!!!!

IN the night sky i beheld upon the cloouds the CCW-BADGE-HOLDER SYMBOL which i had issued to the police cheif (i before e except on Monday). I KNEW IT WAS MY TIME TO RESPOND.

Slipping into the garage, I cranked up my 78 (emp proof) Thunderburd. I rammed the garrage door. Dropping into foueth gear, i headed to the town square.

CARNAGE. EVERYWHERE. THE IRAQIS AND THE CUBANS WERE ENGAGED IN MASS-BLOOD-LETTING. (the gays had already gone to the clubs in Tulsa)!

I stepped out of my t'bird and cut looSE.

After 25 shots i had emptied my pistols, and only downed 23 of the bg's (badguys). B UT I HAD A SECRET WEAPON!!!

Long ago i converted my 78 T'burd to coal-power. This enables me to produce a smokescreen just like the battleships of WW2. I pressed the smoke screen button on my key-fob (beepbeep), and retrieved my spear gun from the trunk...along with the extra spears and heat-showing goggles i keep there.


WITH MY SPEAR GUN AND SPECIAL GOGGLES I SKEWERED THE IRANAIANS AN CUBANS. CASTRO IS NO MORE! .................NEITHER IS OEPRAH!!!!

I then RETURNED HOME TO ENJOY SOME lean cuisine and a few MOUNTAIN DEWS.

i KNOW THEY HAVE STARTED MAKING MELLO-YELLO AGAIN...BUT I DO THE DEW.

AND THE Wolf Brand Chili.


DARKNESS THEN WARSHED OVER THE SHRUBBERY DEVIL!

KEEP YOUR POWDER DRY.
 

Datura stramonium makes you crazy

Jimson weed (Datura stramonium) makes you crazy. According to Wikipedia, "Datura intoxication typically produces a complete inability to differentiate reality from fantasy; delirium (astute state of confusion), as contrasted to hallucination; hyperthermia (elevated body temperature); tachycardia (rapid, uncontrolled heartbeat); bizarre, and possibly violent behavior; and severe mydriasis (dilation of the pupil) with resultant painful photophobia (painful sensitivity to light) that can last several days."

You've got it bad, dude.
 
wow...Wait you forgot something.

you are the last navy seal. The only one that survided the crash...you are the one that shot Binladen.

PS> you forgot the last #6 badge...You have a tatoo of it on your behind and you always leave a mark...Your the most interesting CCW man in the world.

robbers run away from you. Cops created a shrine for you...Bullets make a 180 when the bad guys shoot at you...

you do not always smoke weed, but when you do... You make up really interesting stories....!!!
 
Dude, Where's my autograph?


Come join me in my fight for liberty and morality, and you shall have as many as you choose. I already have a uniform picked out for you (if you are to join me). It's very similar to what Bert Ward wore in the old BatMan shows when he played Robin. Only, where the robin was, there is an emblazoned CCW.

Can't wait to see you.

PS: It's kinda cramped here. Hope you don't mind sharing a fold-out bed with me. Yes, I do weigh 348 pounds. But it's a muscular and sensual 348 pounds.
 
Wow... This story went from interesting to insane almost instantly, yet I still read it all. Thank you for the entertainment. :)
 

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