What was your funniest LEO encounter?

[w8asa]

I recently had occasion to be visited in my office by several FBI agents. It was an official visit, so I immediately notified the agent in charge of the group that I had a concealed handgun license, and that I was armed. He said, "So are we." For some reason that cracked us all up, and throughout the rest of the conversation, whenever the chance came up to use the phrase "so are we" someone would use it and everyone would start laughing again. Just one of those really funny times where you had to be there.

 

[billiam]

As soon as I can make up a story better than yours, I'll post it.

 

[Sir Diealotz]

A while back two deputies visited me because a neighbor up the street was upset due to my dog urinating on another neighbors mail box.

We all got a good laugh out of it and the deputies attempted to keep a straight face

 

[BC1]

Sitting in my friends kitchen, he notices smoke pouring out of his neighbor's van. We call 911, unroll two hoses and head over there. We're pouring water on the vehicle. Police arrive, he tells them his neighbor is a NYC cop and keeps loaded mags in the console. LEO says don't wory, ammo doesn't explode in a fire. Within a few seconds all this ammo starts going off. We're running for our lives, LEO too. Finally the shooting stops and the fire dept arives to put out the car. Next arrives the arson dog. He's a black lab. They're walking him through the cooled down wreckage. He's sniffing everything. Dog finishes and the handler walks over and says he came up empty. I ask the cop what he was looking for. Cop says an accelerant. Like gas? Yeah. I said "it's a f---ing car!" It was filled with gas. Cop looks at handler who shrugs his shoulders. Cause of fire officially listed as unknown.

 

[Sir Diealotz]

Sitting in my friends kitchen, he notices smoke pouring out of his neighbor's van. We call 911, unroll two hoses and head over there. We're pouring water on the vehicle. Police arrive, he tells them his neighbor is a NYC cop and keeps loaded mags in the console. LEO says don't wory, ammo doesn't explode in a fire. Within a few seconds all this ammo starts going off. We're running for our lives, LEO too. Finally the shooting stops and the fire dept arives to put out the car. Next arrives the arson dog. He's a black lab. They're walking him through the cooled down wreckage. He's sniffing everything. Dog finishes and the handler walks over and says he came up empty. I ask the cop what he was looking for. Cop says an accelerant. Like gas? Yeah. I said "it's a f---ing car!" It was filled with gas. Cop looks at handler who shrugs his shoulders. Cause of fire officially listed as unknown.

Now that's FUNNY!

 

[tricolordad]

When I was still in high school I was riding my bike around with a bunch of friends at about 8pm on the 4th of July with a waistband full of bottle rockets. I would randomly light one and chuck it over my shoulder and we all tried to dodge the bullet. Some of us had burns most of us were bruised or bleeding from riding into each other or hitting the road sign posts in the sidewalk or hitting parked cars, etc. It was soooo much fun...after a while I was riding down the sidewalk with a huge gash in my shoulder blood stains all over my shirt and shorts with a big dumb smile on my face and started tossing them so they would shoot under traffic. One didn't quite make it and shot across the road and went off on a guys windshield. It was pretty funny when he swerved and swore at me out the window so I did it again, but it shot through the window of a police car and went off in the backseat. I tried to get away but I was laughing too hard to pedal fast. We were all rounded up and searched and the cop shouting "IT'S NOT FUNNY." After a while they let us go. Some of the other cops were laughing too. I still laugh when I see him to this day.

Edit: He also shouted "I have paper from the fireworks in both my eyes!" I was already laughing at him and my friend Joey said "It's ok you got 2 extra ones" At that point I snorted and the other cops were laughing too.

 

[Mobuck]

Several years ago, I was sitting in my office(Post Office) when a state hwy patrol car pulls up in front. Looking through the window, I recognize the trooper driving and step outside just as he and the rookie trooper in the passenger seat get out. About the time they get stood up and hats adjusted, I throw my hands up and yell"don't shoot, I give up!!!". The driver recognized me immediately but kept still as the rookie froze then turned toward the senior officer. After about 30 seconds the older trooper and I both start laughing while the rookie is still standing like he's stuck in place. After the laugh and a short chat, they ask for the info they're looking for and leave. I kind of wonder what the rookie had to say about that introduction.

 

[NavyLCDR]

Not a LEO story, but a fire department story.....

I was traveling home from work on the interstate when the truck in front of me slams on the brakes, skidding to a stop in the middle of the driving lane. I can't stop in time, and since I am standing on my brakes in a Hyundai Elantra, the front of my car goes under the truck's rear bumper. Then a Jeep Wagoneer hits me from behind pushing my car further under the truck. The truck in front moves forward and separates our two vehicles.

A state trooper must have been close behind us because she shows up a couple minutes after the accident happens. As we are all gathering together, flames appear under my hood. She calls for fire department on her radio. Before fire department arrives a passerby stops and puts out the fire by squirting an extinguisher under the crumpled hood. Fire department arrives and they start to pry open the hood with a crow bar. I say, "Hey, can you be careful there? I don't want the paint scratched any more than it is." Guy gives me a funny look, and I say, "I'm just kidding!" We both laugh and he pries the hood open.

Now here's the funny part.... the battery was completely exploded. I mean there were the two cables attached to the top of the battery and nothing else. Only the top plastic part of the battery with the two cables was left. But the fireman got a pair of cable cutters and cut the battery cables anyway! I about doubled over laughing! Both the truck in front of me and the Wagoneer behind me were still driveable (I think the truck had scratches under his rear bumper was all), and the guy who hit me from behind gave me a ride home.

 

[r1derbike]

I was pulled-over one dark evening (I had a smoke shield on my helmet, stayed too late at a friend's and didn't have my clear with me) and just had it cracked enough to see without watering my eyes to blindness. Was riding my R1. I raised my face shield, took off my helmet and gloves, got my license, registration out of the passenger pod.

Officer asked me if I knew why I was pulled-over, and immediately replied that I must have had my head up my @ss. He started laughing and said I was doing 14 over. I couldn't see my speedo or odo, and was just motoring along by the seat of my pants, as far as speed.

I thought he pulled me over for the smoked shield. I kept my mouth shut, he let me by with a warning, and I shook his hand, and said thank-you.

Sometimes, it's best to keep one's mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt. I still laugh at that "stop" when reminded of it.

 

[recithree]

i've told this this one enough times that i cant remember what sites i've posted this story,probably somewhere on this site.working late driving home a police officer followed us for a bit and pulled us over.he asked where we were coming from and said "the world trade center(pre 2001).he replied "new york city?"we were at the one in norfolk va. so close to where we were that you could get there in like 4 turns and 10 minutes.what made it extra funny to me is the old commercial where the cowboy said the tag line"NEW YORK CITY?"

 

[Nightmare45]

Every year at the Houston Livestock show and Rodeo BBQ Cook Off, I employ the DPS for security, one year my buddy and I had a little to much to drink and the officer working the door said he would drive us the the hotel, in route we were pulled over by the local police, officer walks up to passanger side of car and my buddy rolls down the window to speak to him, he and I are very drunk and loud, for some reason you think you are talking in quite tones. Officer tells my buddy you can't be driving in your condition, buddy explains he is not driving, he looks at me in the middle and ask have I been drinking, damn skippy it's a BBQ contest, but I am not driving either, the DPS officer in uniform is doing the driving. Got to hotel in fine shape, Tnx DPS.

 

[r1derbike]

i've told this this one enough times that i cant remember what sites i've posted this story,probably somewhere on this site.working late driving home a police officer followed us for a bit and pulled us over.he asked where we were coming from and said "the world trade center(pre 2001).he replied "new york city?"we were at the one in norfolk va. so close to where we were that you could get there in like 4 turns and 10 minutes.what made it extra funny to me is the old commercial where the cowboy said the tag line"NEW YORK CITY?"

Picante sauce. "New York city? Get a rope".

 

[adatiowa]

I was headed to instruct a class (was in uniform) and apparently the rental car must be a few miles off as I set the speedometer at 9 over.

Long story short we are talking about work and my XDM 9mm along with the C.A.R. System (one of the courses I instruct civilians and professionals) and he is radioing my info in and without much thought he goes over height, weight etc. and then mentions "white male" (keep in mind that I am mixed heritage and have NEVER been thought of as white before and DL says black) I give him an odd look.

I mention...uh, I am actually not white. He responds "well what do you think you are"...I smile and say well last I checked I'm a couple shades away from being black but my DL and every agency on the planet deems me "black".

He radios back in..."check that...male is black".

Dispatch just bursts in laughter and apparently I'm off with a warning.

Good times.

 

[latinmaxima]

My wife's (girlfriend at the time) car spun a bearing on BG Parkway. I went to pick her up and on the way home my car started over heating. We pull over and get the bright idea to fool around in the back. Right as we begin a state trooper pulls up behind us lights on. Mind you she sat on the side of the road for nearly two hours before I got there about twenty miles back. So he walks around with his flashlight and I open the back door of the car. He asks what is going on and I explain the car over heated and we were hanging out in the back until it cooled down. Unfortunately my wife was still pulling up her pants. He grinned slightly said just be safe. I don't care what you do, have fun. Went on about his way. I was glad obviously but my wife was actually mad she sat for nearly two hours but as soon as we try to have some fun they show up.

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