opsspec1991
Active member
This Guy Was Told He Was Too Old to Join the Military. He Came Up with the PERFECT Response.
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I am over 60 and the armed forces think I’m too old to track down terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military, and some branches even cap off their enlistment age at 28. They’ve got the whole thing backward.
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Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join the military until you’re at least 35.
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For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex once or twice a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
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Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. “My back hurts! I’m tired, and hungry!” We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some people will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
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An 18-year-old doesn’t even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell? Might as well send us on some crazy tactical mission while we’re already up.
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If captured, we couldn’t spill the beans because we forget everything. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real stretch.
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Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We’re used to getting screamed and yelled at and we like soft food.
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We’ve also developed an appreciation for guns. We’ve been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
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They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I’ve been in combat and didn’t see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.
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Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. Have you ever seen anyone outrun a bullet? Didn’t think so.
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An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He’s still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn’t figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes from the sun, not the back of his head.
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These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn about life rather than sending them off into harm’s way. Too many young men and women rush off into the military and come back permanently scarred or worse – in a coffin.
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Let us old guys track down the terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million ticked off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them. If they need torture experts, look no further. We’ll just tell them the same stories over and over again.
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And if you think MEN have bad attitudes, why not enlist a group of 50 year old WOMEN? The more menopausal, the better. Put them on border patrol – they’ll have it locked down by the end of the day!
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Read more: Link Removed
.
I am over 60 and the armed forces think I’m too old to track down terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military, and some branches even cap off their enlistment age at 28. They’ve got the whole thing backward.
.
Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join the military until you’re at least 35.
.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex once or twice a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
.
Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. “My back hurts! I’m tired, and hungry!” We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some people will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
.
An 18-year-old doesn’t even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell? Might as well send us on some crazy tactical mission while we’re already up.
.
If captured, we couldn’t spill the beans because we forget everything. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real stretch.
.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We’re used to getting screamed and yelled at and we like soft food.
.
We’ve also developed an appreciation for guns. We’ve been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I’ve been in combat and didn’t see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.
.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. Have you ever seen anyone outrun a bullet? Didn’t think so.
.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He’s still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn’t figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes from the sun, not the back of his head.
.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn about life rather than sending them off into harm’s way. Too many young men and women rush off into the military and come back permanently scarred or worse – in a coffin.
.
Let us old guys track down the terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million ticked off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them. If they need torture experts, look no further. We’ll just tell them the same stories over and over again.
.
And if you think MEN have bad attitudes, why not enlist a group of 50 year old WOMEN? The more menopausal, the better. Put them on border patrol – they’ll have it locked down by the end of the day!
.
Read more: Link Removed
