Oldgrunt
Well-known member
STILL LAUGHING........
All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination
to determine whether admission will be granted. One room has a clerk
who inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on his or
her last day of life.
One day, the clerk is about to begin the day when a young man arrives.
The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a
good one.
"I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She
claimed she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair
was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry
too. I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to
look for her lover. I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor
apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his
finger tips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers
with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was broken
by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive, I
found super human strength to drag our antique cedar chest
to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him.
At this point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive
heart attack and died."
The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office.
The second applicant said that his last day was his worst.
"I was on the roof of an apartment building working on the
AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the
building. I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th
floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out onto the
balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell, but hit
some awnings and bushes and survived. As I looked up I saw a
huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way
but failed and was hit and killed by the chest."
The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the next room.
He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters. He
apologizes and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as
the fellows in here just before you."
"I don't know" replies the man, "picture this, I'm buck naked
hiding in this cedar chest....."
All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination
to determine whether admission will be granted. One room has a clerk
who inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on his or
her last day of life.
One day, the clerk is about to begin the day when a young man arrives.
The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a
good one.
"I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She
claimed she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair
was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry
too. I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to
look for her lover. I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor
apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his
finger tips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers
with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was broken
by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive, I
found super human strength to drag our antique cedar chest
to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him.
At this point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive
heart attack and died."
The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office.
The second applicant said that his last day was his worst.
"I was on the roof of an apartment building working on the
AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the
building. I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th
floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out onto the
balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell, but hit
some awnings and bushes and survived. As I looked up I saw a
huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way
but failed and was hit and killed by the chest."
The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the next room.
He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters. He
apologizes and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as
the fellows in here just before you."
"I don't know" replies the man, "picture this, I'm buck naked
hiding in this cedar chest....."
