Some of Maxine's Quotes

Oldgrunt

Well-known member
As You Slide Down the Banister of Life into 2012
- Remember


1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written
an impressive new book. It's called .......
'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink,
and be Mary..

3. The difference between the Pope and
your boss, the Pope only expects you
To kiss his ring.



4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant
flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to
your door is if you're in the bathroom.


6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once.
the seat folded up, the drink spilled and
that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes.
Now, of course, there's also
shipping and handling.



8. A husband is someone who, after taking
the trash out, gives the impression that
he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just
vending machines and a large trash can.




11. Definition of a teenager?
God's punishment...for enjoying sex.

12. As you slide down the banister of life, may
the splinters never point the wrong way...
 
I love it! Try this, 'Teenagers are you tired of your stupid parents? Act now, move out, get a job, pay your own phone bills, go grocery shopping, buy your own clothes, fix your own car, do your own laundry, pay your dentist. Act quickly while you still THINK you know everything'!
 

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