Restraining Orders: a phony refuge from an abuser

[Valkyrie144]

Restraining Orders: A Phony Refuge from an Abuser
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Submitted by cbaus on Thu, 06/25/2009 - 00:10. Education
By Gerard Valentino

A recent story in Indiana should strike home in the self-defense community and should resonate with advocates for battered women in America.

In Brownsburg, just north of Indianapolis, the Associated Press is reporting that a woman was stabbed to death while her daughters, aged 8 and 12, hid in a closet.

Later, the 12 year old girl called the police and reported that "daddy stabbed mommy." Such a horrific outcome in this case is indicative of the false hope of protective orders. In this case, the victim had just extended an existing order of protection that was designed to keep the murderer from having any contact with his wife and daughters.

As it turned out, the piece of paper had no effect in keeping a deranged man from killing his wife.

 

[Valkyrie144]

While restraining orders are an important part of an overall security plan that terrorized women should create, they aren't the enforcement tool that many women are led to believe.

That piece of paper is as valuable as the silly "no guns" signs that businesses post to keep legal concealed carry permit holders from brining a gun into the store. Instead of having the intended effect on guns in the business, however, the signs are simply an invitation to criminals who now know that nobody inside the store can fight back with a gun.

 

[Valkyrie144]

A restraining order is somewhat more useful than the "no guns" signs when it comes to keeping stalkers and wife beating thugs away from their victims, but they still won't stop someone intent on doing harm to their targeted victim. Pay attention to the news and you will begin to notice a staggering number of women killed by men despite the order of protection. Most police administrations recommend an order of protection without anything other than calling 911 as a way for a woman to enforce it. Most women won't make it to the phone, as was the case in Brownsburg where the victim was found in her bed. Without the means to call the police, the restraining order is useless.

When it comes to a deranged wife-beater, however, the amount of time for the police to respond is enough to kill his former wife or girlfriend, and they usually don't care about being caught.

 

[Valkyrie144]

In Ohio, as an example, the concealed carry law allows for the issuance of a temporary emergency license to people who have a legitimate reason to fear for their life. They still have to go through the formal process and background check, but get to have a gun for protection in the meantime.

Self-defense advocates in Ohio have tried to get the government to automatically notify a woman who gets a restraining order the information about how to get the emergency license. Unfortunately, the movement is without success at this point and all pro-concealed carry groups in Ohio are left to get the word out through other means.

Often, the media reports falsely that a person with a gun in the house is likely to shoot a friend or relative instead of an attacker, and the misinformation keeps women from utilizing the very best tool for self-defense – a firearm. Had the victim in Brownsburg chose to arm herself with a gun, the outcome still might have been the same. But, without it, she was completely defenseless and lacked the means to fight off her attacker.

 

[Valkyrie144]

The problem is that many women see the restraining order a silver bullet that will keep them safe from their former abuser or stalker. Many times what the victim needs isn't a proverbial silver bullet, but instead a real bullet fired from a gun she bought for self-defense. Ultimately, many victims never even investigate using the one tool that will keep them alive.

They choose not to buy a gun because of the false information put out by the establishment media and by some self-defense experts who claim the gun will be taken away and used by the stalker or wife-beater. In a world where women demand equal treatment under the law, it is ironic that some accept being told they can't properly handle a firearms.

 

[FN1910]

Restraining Orders: A Phony Refuge from an Abuser
with his wife and daughters.
<snip>
As it turned out, the piece of paper had no effect in keeping a deranged man from killing his wife.

Statements like this where people try to make fun aof a restraining order really make me mad. Does anyone actually think that a law or a piece of paper is going to protect them? Do you want to do away with restraining orders? Just what do you want them to do when they call the cops and say that this person is about to kill me. You want him arrested for threats while leaving you alone since you say you are the good guy but 5 people say you aren't. This whole stinking thing of making fun of restraining orders is the height of hipocracy.

let the mother take out the restraining order then when the father comes into sight the police can then arrest him. If he is beating on her door wanting to get in and there is no restraining order then the police can't do a dang thing.

A restraining order will not protect anyone unless they use it like it is supposed to be used. If you get a restraining order against you spouse that says they have to stay at least 500' away and they get within that range do you immediately have them arrested? If not then you hve broken the law by not reporting it. That is the problem, not the restraining order but the people that make jokes about it either saying that it wil protect your or it won't. Hypocrites either wyay.

 

[Valkyrie144]

While a gun isn't a perfect solution when women are victimized by a domestic abuser or stalker, it is one of the best solutions. When combined with a restraining order, good home protection strategies and common sense safety oriented behavior by the victim, it become the very best last line of defense.

Implementing a firearm as part of a self-defense strategy is just that - the last line of defense. Rightfully, in most states it is only permissible to use deadly force when in fear of severe bodily harm or being killed. An imminent rape is proper cause for using deadly force in self-defense in every state, and so is having your home invaded. Unlike when you are the victim of a home invasion by a stranger, if your door is kicked in by someone who used to beat you, or has stalked you for years there is every chance they don't want to play backgammon.

 

[Valkyrie144]

The simple fact is a restraining order is only useful for lining a bird cage when your tormentor kicks down your door. Violating the order will be the first charge plea-bargained away in pre-trial jockeying between attorneys, so it won’' even add to the jail time the offender receives.

In contrast, when that door gets kicked in, a .357 caliber slug will be extremely useful and is likely to make the wife-beater reconsider his choice to attack. A second slug, is likely to definitively change his mind. If it doesn't change his mind, the third slug will likely make up his mind for him.

 

[HiCarry]

The problem is that many women see the restraining order a silver bullet that will keep them safe from their former abuser or stalker. Many times what the victim needs isn't a proverbial silver bullet, but instead a real bullet fired from a gun she bought for self-defense. Ultimately, many victims never even investigate using the one tool that will keep them alive.

They choose not to buy a gun because of the false information put out by the establishment media and by some self-defense experts who claim the gun will be taken away and used by the stalker or wife-beater. In a world where women demand equal treatment under the law, it is ironic that some accept being told they can't properly handle a firearms.

And therein lays one of the primary problems with the use of a restraining order. In seems, in my experience, that the police encourage women to rely solely on the RO. Usually little or no other advice is provided and the woman goes away and back to her life thinking she is safe. The fact that police in Ohio are against even providing the information about the emergency issuance of an emergency license is yet another clear example of this seemingly ubiquitous problem.

 

[Piece Corps]

Restraining orders are worthless with the exception being that it will be used to charge the assailant with ignoring a legal order when he is arrested and charged with the murder of the victim.

It is very rarely used to prove that the victim had the right to blow the assailant away when they violated the order. Of course, the victim is still alive, and the assailant is taking a well-deserved dirt nap.

Forget the restraining order, ladies! Get a gun and issue your own restraining order.

 

[Boomboy007]

Piece Corp has it right....

.... although I would still take out the restraining order. If you shoot a stranger in self defense (attempted robbery, rape, assault, etc), chances are good that you will receive leniency from "the system". However, a dispute between family members or former lovers is much more murky for investigators. If you have already taken out a restraining order, and then your ex comes around for a little payback, your self-defense will be MUCH stronger in court.

 

[tattedupboy]

A gun is a better deterrent to a potential attacker than a retraining order any day of the week. A well placed shot with a gun will make a potential rapist unable to rape anyone else. Has anyone ever been able to say that about a restraining order?

 

[FN1910]

Abusive husband comes home and starts slapping his wife around. She takes the gun as so many sugest and blows him away. Extremely good chance that she is going to jail and if you don't believe that then chack the state prisions.

Wife takes out a worthless restraining order against that same abusive husband and next time he comes home she blows him away. Chances are she can stay home with her children. You still say that restraining order needs to be used as toliet paper? Yep no reason at all for a battered wife to get a restraining order when she can get a gun and party with her friends in prison instead of attending her child's next birthday party. She should definitely listen to that advice.

 

[Hounddog]

Down in Maryland a few years ago a woman had to shoot and kill her ex when he broke into her home. She did have a restraining order and the States Attorney deemed it self-defense. I would think that the restraining order would provide some tangible evidence that she was in fear of her life or grevious bodily harm.

 

[HK4U]

Restraining orders are like locks. There is a saying that locks keep honest people honest. A restraining order will not stop anyone any more than a No Gun Sign stops anyone. By all means use a restraining order but back it up with a gun.

 

[FN1910]

Restraining orders are like locks. There is a saying that locks keep honest people honest. A restraining order will not stop anyone any more than a No Gun Sign stops anyone. By all means use a restraining order but back it up with a gun.

You are correct on that but advise a battered woman to wipe her butt or line her bird cage with it and just get a gun is like telling teenagers that since contraceptives are not 100% reliable then don't bother with them. To call a restraining order a waste is the worst kind of advice to give anyone. Thousands of women are in jail right now that would not be there if they had taken one out and very few dead ones because they did.