Redneck Lent

[Oldgrunt]

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But, all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic...and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest. The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass...and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist, and raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic." Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until the first Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood. The neighbors called the Priest immediately, and, as he rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement. There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted: "You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish

 

[towboater]

LMAO!! I'm catholic. This is hilarious. Maybe I can convice my wife of that tomorrow.....hahaha

 

[nogods]

When I was an alter boy for St. Brigid's Church adults could not eat meat on any Friday during the year.

Except...if St. Patty's day fell on a Friday the bishop would grant a general dispensation so that the adults could indulge in corned beef, cabbage, and beer without fear of being banished to hell.

 

[CharlieK]

When I was an alter boy for St. Brigid's Church adults could not eat meat on any Friday during the year.

Except...if St. Patty's day fell on a Friday the bishop would grant a general dispensation so that the adults could indulge in corned beef, cabbage, and beer without fear of being banished to hell.

I have known many people over the years who were raised Catholic, and they always thought that fish (and chicken) was not meat, for that reason.

Edit: The people to whom I'm referring seem to have been taught that meat is beef.

 

[BC1]

Redneck Lent means not dating your first cousin until Easter.

 

[Tucker's Mom]

I have known many people over the years who were raised Catholic, and they always thought that fish (and chicken) was not meat, for that reason.

Edit: The people to whom I'm referring seem to have been taught that meat is beef.

Charlie, coming from a Spanish background, we have the same thing about not eating meat on Fridays. One day my uncle came home with Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner, put it in the middle of the set dining room table and went upstairs to change his clothes. He came down to find us all sitting in our place all looking down surreptitiously and salivating at the chicken bucket. No one dared touched it...for Aunty told us it wasn't fish. Not a squeak! He sat down and looked at each one of us, grabbed a leg. My aunt said, it's not fish, it's meat...he said, it's not meat -- it's chicken! If looks can kill, he would have been dead that moment. Yep! we had Kentucky Fried Chicken that night -- the priest will not know...besides we can always go to confession and be given our 3 Hail Marys...LOL

 

[BC1]

Charlie, coming from a Spanish background, we have the same thing about not eating meat on Fridays. One day my uncle came home with Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner, put it in the middle of the set dining room table and went upstairs to change his clothes. He came down to find us all sitting in our place all looking down surreptitiously and salivating at the chicken bucket. No one dared touched it...for Aunty told us it wasn't fish. Not a squeak! He sat down and looked at each one of us, grabbed a leg. My aunt said, it's not fish, it's meat...he said, it's not meat -- it's chicken! If looks can kill, he would have been dead that moment. Yep! we had Kentucky Fried Chicken that night -- the priest will not know...besides we can always go to confession and be given our 3 Hail Marys...LOL

I had a friend who was raised by a Catholic mother and Jewish father. He jokes about religious holdiays being so confusing for him. He says he thought that on groundhog day Christ rose and if he saw his shadow there was six more weeks of lent. He took legal counsel to confession... bless me father for I have sinned... I'd like to introduce my attorney Mr. Cohen, he'll be negotiating my penance.


BTW, this kid actually became a comedian.