PTSD and Concealed Carry

[jabatam]

I am an OIF veteran that spent over 12 years as an airborne infantryman. Shortly after being discharged from the US Army, I was diagnosed by doctors at the VA with PTSD.

One of the side effects is what some would call being "scatter-brained." My mind goes a million miles per hour and I have a hard time concentrating on more than one thing at a time. It's bad enough that I have a routine that I follow, to include a list of things to make sure I have when I walk out of my bedroom posted right next to the door. If I break my routine, I seriously increase the risk of forgetting something that could be important.

At the end of February this year, I was at the eye doctor's office for my daughter. While she was being examined, I used the bathroom. I removed my pistol that was in my inside-the-belt holster and placed it on the handicap rail. When I was done, I washed my hands and went about my business.

An hour later, after I was already at home, I was unloading everything out of my pants and it was then that I realized my pistol was not there. It only took a moment to realize where I had left it and I began to seriously panic. I called the office and they informed me that the police had secured it. At that point I began breathing a whole lot easier; at least it did not wind up in the hands of a kid.

It took a couple of months to get it back, in which I'm sure the P.D. raped the hell out of it...but I did get it back. This led me to come up with an S.O.P. (or a routine, if you will) for situations such as using public restrooms that will ensure this mistake never happens again.

My question is this: am I alone here or do any of you have similar experiences or problems with carrying due to PTSD or other anxiety disorders?

Please let me know and thank you for reading.

 

[Boatswain2PA]

I'll start off by saying THANK YOU for your service in keeping my family, my friends, and myself safe from those who wish to do us harm.

Unfortunately it sounds to me like you need to get some help before you should carry here. I hope you get down to the VA and get some help....there are some new therapies for PTSD which have shown pretty good efficacy.

 

[vettefreak]

Airborne brother! i do have similar issues, just not quite to the extent as you. I forget a lot of stuff, but havent forgotten my pistol anywhere. What I do to ensure I dont is to put it in my pants/shorts when i take it off so I cant forget it lol

11B '02-'06, 91B '06+
82d '02-'09 (2-504), '10+ (3BCT)

 

[Joshua Stuart]

Hooah

Leg medic from 1AD here, been diagnosed with minor PTSD/TBI. I've had a similar issue, removed my IWB holster with my Gen 4 G17 that I carry on a daily basis, and set it on the TP dispenser so it wasn't too obvious under the stall and forgot it walking out of the bathroom. Thank God I remembered after drying my hands and went to retrieve it but there was still the oh sh*t moment there. One of the scariest moments in my life, moreso than firefights.

 

[jabatam]

I'll start off by saying THANK YOU for your service in keeping my family, my friends, and myself safe from those who wish to do us harm.

Unfortunately it sounds to me like you need to get some help before you should carry here. I hope you get down to the VA and get some help....there are some new therapies for PTSD which have shown pretty good efficacy.

Your gratitude is appreciated, although I speak for most of us veterans when I say that it is not necessary. I have been undergoing treatment, both pharmaceutical and therapeutic, for about a year now and I'm a hundred times better than I was before I started. This was the first incident like this and I chastised myself harder than anyone else possibly could have. I did stop carrying for a few days, simply because I felt incompetent...a very strange feeling for me. I couldn't go more than that because I couldn't function right without some sort of weapon; I did carry my zap stick in the interim but it was just a bandaid. I realized that I've had 14 years of professionally and personally carrying some sort of firearm and this is the only negative incident I've ever committed. It could have turned out really bad and I was genuinely relieved when I learned it was in the hands of the police. But I'm a firm believer that you have to learn from your mistakes and get back on the horse. Once I was sure I had a safeguard in place that would prevent that from happening, I started carrying again. Thank you again for your concern and gratitude

 

[jabatam]

Airborne brother! i do have similar issues, just not quite to the extent as you. I forget a lot of stuff, but havent forgotten my pistol anywhere. What I do to ensure I dont is to put it in my pants/shorts when i take it off so I cant forget it lol

11B '02-'06, 91B '06+
82d '02-'09 (2-504), '10+ (3BCT)

Ha! You went from killing them to patching them up. You're in an unusual situation; if you already earned the EIB and the CIB, then you could conceivably also earn your CFMB and your CMB...if you haven't already. That would place you in very elite company.

Your SOP is the same one I adopted; simple but effective.

Be safe brother, shoot them in the face, and keep our guys healthy!

 

[snatale42]

Firstly, Thank you for your service. 2nd I've never been diag'd with PTSD as I've never served, but I am as you said way to scatter brained and WAY to regimented. If I do something (or don't) during my morning (or any) routine I will pay for it later. I moved where I charge my cell phone and due to that left without if probably 10 times and didn't notice until I got to work. I'm a service technician and if we start installing something new, Since I don't have an exact system for that I'll make 25 trips to my truck instead of 3. And don't feel bad about the gun, I used to carry a Sigma, It was either in my pants or under my bed. When I bought my G26 for daily carry It stayed in a closet on the other side of the apt, So instead of accidentally taking the Sigma, I left the house with nothing day after day, usually not noticing until I was half way to work. I don't think I'm an OCD case because I'm not going down a mental checklist (at least not doing it consciously) But when something in my routine changes....I'm screwed. I feel ya pain man.

 

[jabatam]

Leg medic from 1AD here, been diagnosed with minor PTSD/TBI. I've had a similar issue, removed my IWB holster with my Gen 4 G17 that I carry on a daily basis, and set it on the TP dispenser so it wasn't too obvious under the stall and forgot it walking out of the bathroom. Thank God I remembered after drying my hands and went to retrieve it but there was still the oh sh*t moment there. One of the scariest moments in my life, moreso than firefights.

I know that "OH SHlT" moment all too well. Until I established my routines, which has been the best help, I'd forget it at home from time to time. When I realized it wasn't with me I'd panic and wouldn't recover until I was back home. Interestingly enough, I'm ok in places where everyone has to go through a security checkpoint and I know no one else is armed.

Yeah I'd give you **** for being a leg if this were in person but the truth is that everyone fights on the ground.

On a side note, is the Gen 4 worth it? I have a Gen 3 G17 and a Gen 3 G30...yeah I'm a Glock fan...but the interchangeable backs of the grips don't seem worth it to upgrade to me.

Same as "vette" up above...stay safe, shoot 'em in the face, and keep our guys mission ready!

 

[jabatam]

Firstly, Thank you for your service. 2nd I've never been diag'd with PTSD as I've never served, but I am as you said way to scatter brained and WAY to regimented. If I do something (or don't) during my morning (or any) routine I will pay for it later. I moved where I charge my cell phone and due to that left without if probably 10 times and didn't notice until I got to work. I'm a service technician and if we start installing something new, Since I don't have an exact system for that I'll make 25 trips to my truck instead of 3. And don't feel bad about the gun, I used to carry a Sigma, It was either in my pants or under my bed. When I bought my G26 for daily carry It stayed in a closet on the other side of the apt, So instead of accidentally taking the Sigma, I left the house with nothing day after day, usually not noticing until I was half way to work. I don't think I'm an OCD case because I'm not going down a mental checklist (at least not doing it consciously) But when something in my routine changes....I'm screwed. I feel ya pain man.

Thank you for your gratitude.

FYI...it's not just combat veterans that have PTSD, we're just the ones on everyone's mind when the subject is broached. Anyone that has been through something traumatic can develop it. I used to believe it only happened to weak-minded people until it became too big for me to ignore last year. Thankfully I have valuable resources available to me and I've utilized them as best as I could and I'm a lot better...although a situation tonight (non-weapon related) reminded me that I still have a long way to go.

Thank you for sharing and good luck.

 

[Boatswain2PA]

FYI...it's not just combat veterans that have PTSD, we're just the ones on everyone's mind when the subject is broached. Anyone that has been through something traumatic can develop it. I used to believe it only happened to weak-minded people until it became too big for me to ignore last year. Thankfully I have valuable resources available to me and I've utilized them as best as I could and I'm a lot better...although a situation tonight (non-weapon related) reminded me that I still have a long way to go.

Thank you for sharing and good luck.

You're right. I never saw combat, but I did search & rescue for 20 years in the USCG. While I won't compare my experiences with that of actual combat, I've had some pretty freaking traumatic experiences - like being the first o/s to a loaded Boeing 747 crash.

I've thought about what I've said earlier, and would like to clarify my point. You seem to be smart on PTSD...so you know the sx can come and go depending on a million other things - life stressors, triggers, etc. I manage my PTSD like I manage my screwed-up back; some days are better/worse than others, so some days I exercise more, or rest more, or ice more, or eat more motrin. With my PTSD sometimes I exercise more, lighten my stress load, take a benzo to sleep, and then some days I can take on the world.

It sounds like you know how to compensate and manage your PTSD as well. Furthermore, I'll guess that you are your own worse critic. If that is true, and you feel like you can manage it well enough to carry, then more power to you. I'm sure you will track your stress load and, if it becomes necessary, leave your firearm locked at home if you need to. There certainly is no shame in doing that.

Good luck!

 

[jabatam]

I manage my PTSD like I manage my screwed-up back; some days are better/worse than others, so some days I exercise more, or rest more, or ice more, or eat more motrin. With my PTSD sometimes I exercise more, lighten my stress load, take a benzo to sleep, and then some days I can take on the world.

Well said and spot on.

I was curious as to what your profession was with a handle like "Boatswain." I knew it had to be something relating to the ocean because on the old ships, the "Bosun" was responsible for discipline, and by extension, the smooth running of the ship. The name "Bosun" is actually the evolved slang version of "Boatswain," much like "Indian" evolved into "Injun." I'm assuming that was your position or rank...I'm admittedly ignorant regarding the USCG

 

[jhon]

First of all, Thank you for serving. We all do appreciate your time and effort in doing this. You mentioned about your PTSD, so it sounds like as has been said, that you have some knowledge on the inner workings of how it operates. However, it does affect each person differently. Tho, from my experience, that one thing most PTSD people have in common with their treatment is setting a routine.

When you find that the routine gets broken, then we panic or the " oh, sh** " . If you are not already in treatment for your PTSD, please look up your closest VA for assistance. Your first step is admitting to yourself that their are issues.

As for leaving your weapon, I think now that you have had that scare, you will be more aware and add it to your routine to check and double check every time you take it off away from home. It's all a learning experience and it some cases a relearning experience or changing routines.

If you are like me, I do not like changes any more as it is hard to make the new adjustments, even minor ones. But keep at it. You will prevail. Good luck to you.

 

[Doc Mustang]

I have dealt with ADHD my entire life. I too have learned to live my life by a series of routines otherwise my native scatterbrain will forget key things. In my professional life that can certainly cause problems. With respect to firearms I typically do not remove my gun from its holster. If I am required to sit I have developed a technique where I invert the wasteline of my trousers, basically rolling the wasteband inward so the butt of the pistol goes down the leg of the trousers keeping the butt of the pistol and the entire holster concealed. If you keep the waistband fastened you can keep the waistband from flipping back over with your legs. When you're done pull your pants up above the level of the stall and rearrange your carry rig. It takes some practice but once you get the technique down it works well.

This is yet ANOTHER reason to buy a good holster.

Also practicing a bit of situational awareness helps. Choosing the stall where the wall is on your carry side helps keep things concealed.

 

[SPEAR-99]

I feel your pain, leaving high dollar and security items in places that you dont remember, until someone hands it to you.
It is hard to regain yourself after this, but it can be done. As service members you live through a structured life, eat, sleep, shoot and return only when directed to. No need to say it all over again, we are brothers throuhg it all.

Strike First, always.

19 years Active Duty, still in.

Take care

 

[carolinadrifter]

I feel for u my brother. I've got 10+years active duty Marines and I've had my fair share of those moments but so far not the same one twice. Stay alert, stay vigilant and keep the BG's bleeding
OOHRAH

 

[Washington Prepper]

Ditto on the thanks for serving. Thank ALL of you who have served. I don't have a combat related PTSD, but due to a head-on collision driver I was left with memory loss and memory problems. I know what you mean about sticking to routines. I handle the nature calls like poster number 3 above, I draw the pistol from the holster and stick it between my feet in my boxers. Hard to miss it you pull up your drawers. ;-) Whatever method you decide to use. I hope it works for you, Keep on packin.

 

[mkuisi8mo]

Airborne brother! i do have similar issues, just not quite to the extent as you. I forget a lot of stuff, but havent forgotten my pistol anywhere. What I do to ensure I dont is to put it in my pants/shorts when i take it off so I cant forget it lol

+100 for inside the shorts...can't pull the britches back up until you reholster...works for me all the time. I've used the routine ever since I left my EDC in the stall once, but lucky enough to remember it 20 ft out the outer door. I certainly wised-up after that, like you.

Now, more importantly, thanks a million for serving & welcome home! Myself, although a Viet Nam era coot, not a Combat Vet (how that came to be is another story of a 12-hour simple twist of fate that kept me carrying "survivor guilt" for over 35 years). I fully expected dead at 22 in a Cambodian rice paddy...strange how life works out.

Still, I garnered a nasty case of PTSD from a number of near-death life experiences in mid-life that included a serious shooting/murder attempt event ending with an out-right hand-to-hand finish that left my assailant in a hospital very bloody & near death and me in the hospital for 3 days (now scarred from a very serious human-bite on my left hand). And YES, you are not alone in this one. I don't think any of us like talking about the crap that saddled us with these wounds that are not visible, but your courage to express your questions is commendable. The symptoms can really suck, but sometimes we really need to put it out to those that know.

Because of the "forgetfulness", I always drop my EDC in the "shorts bucket" because I know how my short-term memory & attention is affected....'tis worked well so-far for the EDC.

On a lighter note, but similar situation, I was on a road-trip with a friend visiting from Germany trying to find a good camp for the night along Lake Ontario in northern NYS (but nada en route, from Fort Niagra to Watertown). We did a pit stop & gassed-up at an all-night station in Rochester. The place had hot-water in the can, so I took advantage to get some road-dirt off and grab a shave at 2:00am. Fifty miles (a very tired hour later) down the road I remembered taking my eye-glasses off to take care of business but not putting them back on. I then ran the obsessively ruminating "tape" through my head that I absolutely had to go back to get them (an hour each way and 100 miles lost, just to get back to where I was...definite bummer, when all I wanted to do was find a bush to crawl under for the rest of the night!) So, I disclosed this to my companion. She said something to me, me hearing her ask me what I had said. So I repeated myself & then heard her then say very clearly, "on your face...they're on your face, you old fool"...Son of a B**ch! There they were, sitting squarely on my nose! LOL..."Scatter-brained" PTST symptoms at work.

You are definitely not alone! that's just a bit of how this affliction works...now, just don't do it again...and laugh at you own absurdities...it's a sign sound mental health.

 

[jabatam]

On a lighter note, but similar situation, I was on a road-trip with a friend visiting from Germany trying to find a good camp for the night along Lake Ontario in northern NYS (but nada en route, from Fort Niagra to Watertown). We did a pit stop & gassed-up at an all-night station in Rochester. The place had hot-water in the can, so I took advantage to get some road-dirt off and grab a shave at 2:00am. Fifty miles (a very tired hour later) down the road I remembered taking my eye-glasses off to take care of business but not putting them back on. I then ran the obsessively ruminating "tape" through my head that I absolutely had to go back to get them (an hour each way and 100 miles lost, just to get back to where I was...definite bummer, when all I wanted to do was find a bush to crawl under for the rest of the night!) So, I disclosed this to my companion. She said something to me, me hearing her ask me what I had said. So I repeated myself & then heard her then say very clearly, "on your face...they're on your face, you old fool"...Son of a B**ch! There they were, sitting squarely on my nose! LOL..."Scatter-brained" PTST symptoms at work.

I have had similar experiences with various things, usually my phone, so I can relate. Thank you for sharing.

 

[jabatam]

Thank you all for sharing your stories and tips. It is relieving to know that I'm not alone. Be safe out there!