Proper way to teach a child about respect and the use of firearms?

Apparently this remindes one of my facebook friends of me, because I'm always posting 2nd Amendment related things. This was my reply:

No doubt that what the girl said was disrespectful. I'm sure she's exaggerating just how hard she has to work. But I'm sure the dad is exaggerating just how easy she has it and how simple the chores are, too.

Shooting the laptop? Seriously? A firearm is a tool for sport (such as hunting), recreation (such as target shooting), or self-defense. I support the right to bear arms for these and other legitimate purposes up to and including the overthrow of one's government, should it deteriorate into tyranny.

But intimidating one's teenage daughter is not a legitimate purpose. This guy is an overbearing, vindictive a__h_le. I doubt he'll ever have a meaningful relationship with his daughter. I understand the sentiment driving him...but as the adult, he needs to learn to direct his anger more constructively, and find ways to educate and discipline his daughter without HUMILIATING her in a way that literally the entire world can see.

I hope that the only thing I have in common with this man is that we both carry a .45 caliber pistol.
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She responded with:

What she did was just as bad in what she posted. I agree that a laptop is not a good item to choose for target practice. I meant no disrespect to you. The only correlation was the fire arm and I know that the right to bear arms is important to you.
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My response:

No disrespect taken.

I disagree that what the girl wrote was as bad. She is a 15 year old girl, bitching to her peers about her parents. Disrespectful, yes. Childish words, coming from a child.

What her father did was far worse. Childish vindictive actions from an adult.

- Posting a humiliating video
- Using a firearm for intimidation
- Running up "debt" on her behalf. "You'll pay me for this laptop, the software, and the bullets I used to shoot it, and you'll buy your own new laptop." (About $8-10 worth of ammunition, by the way.)
- Grounding her for 3 months (Either he's being WAY harsh, or he'll renege within a week or two...either way, damaging the relationship further.)

And that's just off the top of my head.

Another question that comes to mind. Did she WANT the computer for school? Or did she NEED it for school? A lot of school systems require laptops now.

A more proportional response: Ground her for a couple of weeks. Delete her Facebook account. Add extra chores (unless she was actually telling the truth about how much work she does.)
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I don't disagree with all that you said, but I don't think he was using his weapon to intimidate the girl. I do think his reaction was a bit extreme, and might have been handled differently, but I suspect as he mentioned in the video this wasn't her first time of breaking the rules, and her disrespect caused his reaction. I personally wouldn't have shot the laptop myself, I think a better punishment was using it in front of her on a daily basis with her knowing she lost her privileges. It's unfortunate that this has become a gun issue vs. what I think it really is. Whatever everyone's opinion, he made his point, it's now national, and I can only imagine the girl is regretting ever posting that letter about her parents. Pretty sure she ( and possibly her father) have learned a valuable lesson :)
 
Personally, this dad is on target. Parents are getting back on the parenting wagon!! Three cheers for the dad!! Obviously, grounding her did nothing. How best to get her attention? But to take away permanently the computer. I disagree, he did not intimidate with his weapon.
Get off the liberal crap of "don't be hard on or punish your kids". All actions in life have consequences If you post like that about your job I'm sure you would be fired
 
No way. Totally out of line.

What the girl did was wrong, but what the dad did was completely off track.

First, listen to his tone, his breathing, and look at his face. He is angry. And I don't mean parental angry, I mean ready to beat some guy in a bar brawl angry. He's the adult, and he needs to get a grip.

Second, if what the girl said about her chores is true, she's right to be angry. Kids need chores to learn responsibility and to learn how to take care of themselves. Gardening (growing your own food), doing your own laundry, washing your dishes daily or the whole family's dishes two or three times a week is fine. Making and pouring your parents coffee isn't. No, it's not hard, but it reeks of servanthood. So does having to make everyone's beds every day. If you treat your children like servants, they will come to resent you. In a family, everyone needs to pitch in. Everyone needs to pull their own weight, and at times pull someone else's weight, but not every day.

Facebook is the new social arena. In times past, this girl would have visited or called a friend to complain. Today, you air your grievances on Facebook. And yeah, it was a little too much. But she ought to be punished for her inappropriate language, not because she was upset with her life.

As for the firearm, obviously it was meant to illustrate a point, but the entire video and the father's actions reek of intimidation. He needs to take a breath, think things through for a day, then respond.

I can only imagine there are some serious underlying issues in this family, and a professional counselor might be in order.
 
phrogmedic said:
Get off the liberal crap of "don't be hard on or punish your kids". All actions in life have consequences If you post like that about your job I'm sure you would be fired
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This liberal's children both have Facebook and email, and they both know that not only am I not "blocked," as this parent apparently was, but that the day I cannot log into their account and see what they're doing is the day they lose that account. Both my children have lost computers, TV privileges, cell phones, or been grounded on more than one occasion.

It's not a liberal vs. conservative thing. It's parents who buy into the whole idea that you have to be your kids' friend. You're not their friend, you're their parent. Sometimes - many times - you have to make decisions they won't like. Chances are they'll understand and appreciate it when they're older. As far as I'm concerned, if I make a decision and my daughter tells me I'm ruining her life - I've made the right decision.
 
LMAO! Good Job Dad! I would have preferred something a little more dramatic like 6 rounds of 00 Buckshot from a 12 gauge shotgun. Followed by some extra pounding via a sledgehammer. Then finish it off into a woodchipper. But that's just me. :)
 
I saw this on my Facebook page. This Dad is Right On. We need more parents to stand up and take charge of their kids. A parents job is to teach children how to be responsible Adults.
 
The_Outlaw said:
LMAO! Good Job Dad! I would have preferred something a little more dramatic like 6 rounds of 00 Buckshot from a 12 gauge shotgun. Followed by some extra pounding via a sledgehammer. Then finish it off into a woodchipper. But that's just me. :)
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Great minds think alike!
 
I have a little bit of mixed up emotions about the whole thing...I believe the girl did something stupid but shooting a laptop he perhaps paid for? The girl certainly have to have her rights taken away from her but shoot the laptop? That will go to me for my personal use. As of now, it is useless to both of them. I pity the laptop...
 
localgirl said:
No way. Totally out of line.

What the girl did was wrong, but what the dad did was completely off track.

First, listen to his tone, his breathing, and look at his face. He is angry. And I don't mean parental angry, I mean ready to beat some guy in a bar brawl angry. He's the adult, and he needs to get a grip.

Second, if what the girl said about her chores is true, she's right to be angry. Kids need chores to learn responsibility and to learn how to take care of themselves. Gardening (growing your own food), doing your own laundry, washing your dishes daily or the whole family's dishes two or three times a week is fine. Making and pouring your parents coffee isn't. No, it's not hard, but it reeks of servanthood. So does having to make everyone's beds every day. If you treat your children like servants, they will come to resent you. In a family, everyone needs to pitch in. Everyone needs to pull their own weight, and at times pull someone else's weight, but not every day.

Facebook is the new social arena. In times past, this girl would have visited or called a friend to complain. Today, you air your grievances on Facebook. And yeah, it was a little too much. But she ought to be punished for her inappropriate language, not because she was upset with her life.

As for the firearm, obviously it was meant to illustrate a point, but the entire video and the father's actions reek of intimidation. He needs to take a breath, think things through for a day, then respond.

I can only imagine there are some serious underlying issues in this family, and a professional counselor might be in order.
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This is why I like you so much. You just said pretty much exactly what I was trying to say.

"Intimidation" is the key word. This guy is letting his (bruised) ego drive his actions.
 
What the dad did was way over the top and out of line. However there are a lot of good things to take away from what he did. Now the daughter's post was unfortunately the exact way a lot of teens are thinking these days and she just posted the thoughts of thousands of other teens. I don't know what all she was/is being "forced" to do at home but I doubt that is is anything close to what she was trying to make out like it is. The fact that they had someone to come in and do some cleaning says that it is nowhere close to what the daughter is claiming.

It does show a lack of communication between parents and children these days and probably the attitude and way it is handled between the parents and children. As for the coffee deal that is almost laughable. My children are now grown and I was the only one in my house the drank coffee but it I needed a cup my daughters would almost fight over who got to get it for me. In all I think there are at least a thousand different ways the dad could have handled this and I doubt that this is going to come close to solving their conflict but if they can calm down (the entire family) and realize what has happened, get over their anger, think about how stupid the whole thing was it can be a success and move on.
 
That video is evidence that there are way to many children who have children, and they are obviously neither mature enough nor intelligent enough to be parents.
 
Before anyone of you condemn the father, walk a mile in his shoes first. The guy was interviewed on Fox News. For you who were not able to watch it, he said that this is not the first time it happened. He had warned his daughter that the next time he will do something really drastic -- and he did. I always feel that if a child (anyone's child) cannot be overcome by a parent's loving persuasion, it is time to get some action done the fast and furious way. This last sentence is a sort of an Asian saying my elders always says to us before (in another language but I cannot translate it to English very well. Sorry.) Suffice to say, that is why his position is that HE IS the father, not her child.
 
I think the father is an ******* with anger management issues. The daughter may be a spoiled little ****, but I think the apple falleth not too far from the tree.
 
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