Pistol for my fiancee

[Poodlini]

So, in talking with my fiancee she has agreed to let me buy her a pistol for protection for when I am not around. I feel she should carry whether I am there or not but she doesn't. I'll work on that later. However, she has said she'll let me buy her a handgun as well as to take some classes and possibly get her CCW. She is very recoil sensitive so something like a .40 S&W or .45ACP will most likely be out of the question. She has shot my M&P 40 and while she liked the feel/weight of the gun as well as a friends Ruger P90 (this was also to heavy), she did not like the recoil at all. Additionally she is just getting back into shooting after not having shot for over 15 yrs so she would prefer something easy to shoot. She has a .38 Special revolver that was inherited, however, she's said that she does not really want to carry a revolver if/when she does.

What I need help with is what to have her look at? It should be small enough to fit in her purse as I don't think that she'll carry on her person initially. She's small framed, though tall and skinny yet fairly large hands. I would prefer her to get a 9mm, however a .380 wouldn't be out of the question either. She has shot a Sig 226 and Beretta 92fs, both of which while recoil was fine she felt too heavy (both in 9mm).

Some of what i was thinking were:

M&P9c
SR9c
M&P Bodyguard 380
Walther PPK
Sig P238
XD9c
Sig P250 Compact

Opinions on these for a recoil sensitive shooter? Any other suggestions? Most of these I can rent from a LGS, so she will definitely be trying before buying. I'd like to keep it around $500 give or take but will end up buying what she wants no matter the cost...LOL Reliability is probably most important for me. Recoil and then comfort in hand most important for her.

Thanks,

Poodlini

 

[Kalamity023]

Take her somewhere she can try them... I love my Glock 19. But let her make the decision so she's comfortable. You sound like you're on the right track.

 

[kerb]

Interesting problem. The smaller you go, the more recoil she's gonna feel.

If it was me I'd have her try a Sig P238 or 938 and just make sure she gets enough range time and instruction so that the recoil isn't an issue anymore. A single action trigger is a lot easier for a beginner to master.

 

[Almost_Blameless]

As previously mentioned.... +1 here for taking her to a decent range that lends/rents firearms...you two get to share some time together, & she gets to try a few rounds from many types of pistols, in several calibers. This way there's no 'surprises' and she'll be comfortable knowing she made the decision based on her own comforts, blended with any suggestions you may have. She needs to consider that whatever firearm she decides on, must be comfortable enough to shoot MANY rounds through in range time/practice sessions.

Personally, if you're asking specific weapon suggestions, I lean towards and own a Kahr CM9. Kahrs are somehow a little milder in the recoil department compared to other 'small' 9's, and they are remarkably thin and easy to carry concealed. The "C" series are just as shootable as the "P" series (their Cadillac models) but much more affordable.

Good luck, and Happy Shootin'

 

[Woody57]

Would suggest she look at the M&P Shield in 9mm. Recoil is surprisingly light.

 

[SGB]

Wife's ...

 

[VERDAD Investigations]

Guns are like men, the lady has to pick the one she wants.....what might be great in her hand might not be what she will carry on her person or in her person. Suggestions for low recoil

KAHR 380 or 9 mm (380 comes in pink)
XD 9 sub compact for small hand (has more recoil than full size)
Walther 380 (comes in pink or black)

many mentioned above.....let her try and find the one that feels greats.

 

[maine04619]

This board needs a sticky on this as this same post keeps popping up by different folks.

1) Picking a firearm for another person to carry/use as a defense weapon is pointless at best without their 100 percent involvement.
2) A firearm for this purpose needs to be chosen by the owner holding and preferably shooting as many choices as possible.
3) The owner needs to be able to shoot, carry and hit the target with there choice.
4) the shooter needs to in the end be comfortable with the choice to the point hey can react without thought or close to it.
5) IMHO After the firearm is chosen the most important is to get training with THAT firearm and all it's functions. This is my opinion but I also think this shoudl be done by a pro NOT a spouse as this way the person receives instruction and not opinion.
6) Next thing is ammo BUY at least one case if not 2 or more. Then find a nice place and let him/ her shoot. Buy extra mags and lots of various targets to keep the shooters mind involved. After a thousand plus rounds on your own you will learn allot about both your abilities and instil these things into your muscle memory.

 

[SigGal]

Go to gun shows and look around, prices are better and usually local owners. You've read how to let women do their own thing, that's absolutely true! If she has any issue with grip etc. make sure that is a priority in choosing the gun. Otherwise she won't be comfortable with it and won't use it. Rack the slide is hard for me. It's not a problem for everyone but make sure she can rack the slide, take apart to clean etc. She needs to be able to do all this on her own. It will just take time to learn but it's doable. People will say negative about a purse, I won't go there, just make sure she has a special gun compartment and not have to dig to the bottom through items to get it. I've one I like, there are many types out there. Another item to add to the cost (good gun purses aren't cheap) and get a holster, get both Some of the following I use.

Sig p238, easiest to rack, carry, clean, my first choice
Sig p938 waiting for this to be out awhile, size is good, rack doable, little larger than 238 but still easy carry
Glock 19 easy rack, grip even on smallest grip size is just a tad to large for me, been a good gun though
Kahr CM9 or PM9 for most females it is major hard to rack even after it's broken in, tricky to take apart, just have to learn it and its doable, I'll target practice but have to have DH help to rack, so it's just not a good one for me to carry
M&P Bodyguard 380 past few gun shows have seen people trade this in for p238, don't know why it's just what observed
Walther PPK past few gun shows have seen people trade this in for p238, again don't know why, I should probably ask next time! Maybe people just like to trade guns after awhile as I've read good things about both.
S&W M&P Shield 9mm I've been hearing good things about, very very hard to come by! Just been out awhile. I've only seen the 40mm lately.

Good luck, let us know what she decides and what her reason was on the specific gun model.

 

[maine04619]

It's not a problem for everyone but make sure she can rack the slide, take apart to clean etc. She needs to be able to do all this on her own. It will just take time to learn but it's doable.

If you have trouble "racking" the slide then a revolver would be a better choice. Being able to take the firearm apart and clean it is a PLUS but any decent gun shop will do this for you. I also find it strange you say let the OP's fiancee pick her own but without knowing her you suggest a list of firearms based on YOUR likes and abilities and form the way you said it you yourself have not used many on your list so you do not seem to have first hand information. This was the whole point of my post. unless you know the person there abilities and there requirements suggesting a model is pointless. Look this is a pointless and dangerous topic. The ONLY person the choice of a carry is important to is the one who is going to carry it. If everyone had the same requirements there would only be one gun to buy. There are countless choices and even more mods on those choices.

Want to help a person get a carry. Let them shoot anything you have and let them choose and stay out of it. If asked a question answer that question answer it and stop talking. I have seen far to many people show up at the shop saying I want to trade this in or sell it because I do not like. I ask well why did you buy it? Because x said it was perfect or I read this was the one to get.

Look at it this way when you buy a firearm for yourself do you buy what others say they have or what you want. Would you buy one because your friend says it is the best even if you hate the way it feels in your hand? Would you want someone else to choose your carry gun for you?

 

[Rabbitcreekok]

I agree with the suggestion that she shoot as many guns as possible before making her decision. I would strongly suggest she look at a Sig P229 with the E2 or enhanced grip. It allows a better purchase on the gun, packs 15 rounds in 9mm and shoots really nice. It has enough weight to handle recoil but is not too heavy to pack.

 

[Poodlini]

Maine,

That's kinda the point of this thread. I just want suggestions on what she might like initially so that she can walk into the LGS with a small amount of knowledge and then work herself through the process from there. I know that what I will shoot and what she will are two entirely different things, hence my request for comment. She knows her limitations and so do I for the most part. I love my 454 Casull, she's said she'll never shoot it, and that's fine with me. SigGal's replies were exactly what I was looking for. I've told myself from the beginning that I am no more than the guide through this process, ok I'm the money for it too...LOL. I honestly couldn't care less about what she picks other than it be reliable for her. In talking with her last night she mentioned that she's not sure if she's ready to CC. She did say that she still wanted to take a class or two on proper usage and technique and whatnot. Works for me.

Thanks everyone for all the replies. Very appreciated.

 

[maine04619]

Maine,

That's kinda the point of this thread. I just want suggestions on what she might like initially so that she can walk into the LGS with a small amount of knowledge and then work herself through the process from there. I know that what I will shoot and what she will are two entirely different things, hence my request for comment.

Again suggestions are pointless. I can recommend a multiple number of firearms that MAY be good, bad or horrible choices but as I am not standing there with her they woudl be no help to you and would in most cases adversely effect your choice. The carry is FOR her she needs to look. What any of these suggestions are is moot to her choice. She may end up with a S&W 45acp revolver JM special being what suites her perfectly?


In the end the point is when a person is going to buy a defensive weapon they need to have a open mind when going into it. They need to shoot as many of the options as possible. They need to hold and get the feel of as many choices as possible. If you go into a gun shop and they counter person says this is the perfect carry for a lady RUN. What you want to hear is lets see what fits you.

I have had far to many people show up to CCW class with a firearm that there spouse, brother, dad or other bought or gave them and told them this is the perfect one. After shooting a few handguns she will be able to say with a reasonable amount of certainty what calibers she can handle. Then you have to keep in mind a small handgun in the caliber she was fine with in a bigger handgun may be to much. See these are the details only SHE can determine. Going in with a clean slate unbiased to what anybody else THINKS may suit her is the best way to get HER what will be HER best choice. After all you want her to be armed but a person armed with a weapon they can not wield is a almost the same as a unarmed person...

 

[Rocketgeezer]

Go to a well equiped range and rent some differant guns, let her shoot anything that strikes her fancy, stay away from anything in 40 way to much recoil for MOST women, also this applys for the small 9mms, LC9, ...S&W Shield,...Bersa 9cc, all small and concealable, and all shoot very good but as you said if shes recoil sensitive, she wont like them, if you want a 9mm Glocks are always dependable, ether a 26 or 19, also the XD-9 subcompact is a good choice, in 380s that are not bad with recoil, the Walther PK380, Bersa thunder 380, Sig 238, here again the small stuff Ruger LC9, Taurus TCP738, S&W Bodygaurd, all good guns but there small size and light weight make them unplesent to shoot much, and take my word for if a women dont like her gun no matter what it may have cost shes not going to carry it, like I said make it a 2 or 3 hr range trip and let HER ck out all the guns

 

[trainor]

First, she needs to do a lot of handgun shooting, and best to start with airsoft, and pellet pistols, so there's no noise, no lethality while she learns to be muzzle conscious, and manipulate all the controls. then a .22, to keep down the noise, flash, recoil and cost while she gains experience with handguns that ARE lethal, do make SOME noise, do bounce around a little bit when fired, and do reach targets to 100 yds or so. After she demos interest and ability to go farther, then a 9mm or .38 of some sort, preferably a medium heavy, medium sized one, with mild ammo, to let her get used to having more recoil and noise, before FINALLY getting into the lw, compact, "carry" guns, that often have real blast, recoil, and accuracy-control problems. Move too far, too fast, and she'll never really like any of it.

 

[Gail Of Maine]

I HAD the Charter Arms Chic Lady 38 revolver and another snub nosed 380 pink pistol. Got rid of both b/c the recoil hurt. I now have the Charter Arms 9mm Pittbull, sadly in black, and I love it. It is a nicely made gun with less recoil that my 38. I am very happy with it. It is a heavier gun but so well made that the recoil is lessened. I think she would be happy with it if she like you 45. They are >$500. Hope she likes it.

 

[mojoman]

Take her somewhere she can try them... I love my Glock 19. But let her make the decision so she's comfortable. You sound like you're on the right track.

X2 agree I shot it today and man do I love on how it shoot. To me I wouldn't go with anything less that a 9mm with HP of course.