Hi everyone. My husband is an gunowner who open carries, as well as conceal carries. For years he had been trying to get me to carry a gun, but to be honest, I thought he was a little extreme. I don't go anywhere unsafe. I didn't need a gun. December 14, 2009 my thinking changed. I was raped. It was at a place I felt perfectly safe at, a place I went everyday. I had no way to protect myself or to stop it from happening. That day I started rethinking the whole gun thing. I have been carrying a gun with me everywhere I go now for the past month, and for the first time since the rape I feel in control. I am not afraid anymore. I do however have a few questions: the first one is, I have a hard time with the slide of the gun to check it. Do you have any suggestions? My second question is today I was at the store getting groceries with my daughter and a women saw me with the gun and asked how I can have a child, esp. a girl, and dare to carry a gun around her. I was speechless. It was the first time anyone had commented on my gun and I didn't know how to handle it. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle it in the future? My husband said that I should have said it is because I love my daughter that I carry. What do you think?
New to guns
- Thread starter jwmama1
- Start date
Teluch82
New member
I'm sorry to hear about your unfortunate incident no one deserves to go thru anything like that. For your first ? If the gun is new the slide will be tight until you fire a couple hundred rounds thru it to help soften the spring a little. The other thing you can do is to practice pulling the slide back unloaded gun of course to help yourself built the strength to do so properly. As for your second ? I would simply tell anyone that it is my right as an American citizen to carry a firearm and it is because of that reason the me and my daughter will be safe. The other response you could give if you want to be mean is to say it's none of your business as to why I carry a firearm around my daughter that's my choice not yours. I commend you on your choice to carry a fire especially in these day and ages. Stay safe and always practice good gun safety
JAJ
New member
I too am sorry for what you went through. As for the slide, practice the"push/pull" method. There are videos on youtube but basically (assuming you're right handed) push the gun forward with your right hand while at the same time pull the slide back with your left. With practice it becomes second nature.
As for the 2nd ? My answer is always the same, "because I believe & support the 2nd amendment. I'm a woman also and that answer usually shuts them up. If not,I consider it their issue not mine.
Best of luck to you!
As for the 2nd ? My answer is always the same, "because I believe & support the 2nd amendment. I'm a woman also and that answer usually shuts them up. If not,I consider it their issue not mine.
Best of luck to you!
Welcome!
Racking the slide: try the slingshot method. This method has worked for me since day 1 (btw, I am also a woman)
Massad Ayoob explains it here: Armed and Female by Massad Ayoob Issue #63
"For example, most men operate a semiautomatic pistol by holding the frame in their dominant hand, and reaching across their chest with the free hand and grabbing the slide to “rack” it back. This is an upper body strength intensive technique, pitting arm against arm, and a lot of smaller or older women can’t do it well with many pistols. They’ll have better luck with the “slingshot” technique, in which the support hand firmly grabs the slide and pulls back while the gun-hand is pushing forward. This can be combined with a turn of the hips that puts the entire body weight into the movement, making it happen almost effortlessly."
decent pic here: https://www.usconcealedcarry.com/wp...8/armed-senior-citizen-safest-way-to-rack.jpg
I hope that helps!
As for the nosy and judgmental comment from that lady at the grocery, I really like your husband's answer--who can dispute a mother's love and intent to defend her child?
Practice, practice, practice until you are very comfortable. Practice your draw, practice stepping to the side as you draw ... muscle memory is what kicks in when the brain shuts down under stress.
Sorry you had a violent incident to shake you out of your "I'm safe" mentality, but glad you survived and glad you are taking measures to protect yourself and your loved ones.
May you always have your gun and never have to use it. Remember, fate favors the well-prepared.
Racking the slide: try the slingshot method. This method has worked for me since day 1 (btw, I am also a woman)
Massad Ayoob explains it here: Armed and Female by Massad Ayoob Issue #63
"For example, most men operate a semiautomatic pistol by holding the frame in their dominant hand, and reaching across their chest with the free hand and grabbing the slide to “rack” it back. This is an upper body strength intensive technique, pitting arm against arm, and a lot of smaller or older women can’t do it well with many pistols. They’ll have better luck with the “slingshot” technique, in which the support hand firmly grabs the slide and pulls back while the gun-hand is pushing forward. This can be combined with a turn of the hips that puts the entire body weight into the movement, making it happen almost effortlessly."
decent pic here: https://www.usconcealedcarry.com/wp...8/armed-senior-citizen-safest-way-to-rack.jpg
I hope that helps!
As for the nosy and judgmental comment from that lady at the grocery, I really like your husband's answer--who can dispute a mother's love and intent to defend her child?
Practice, practice, practice until you are very comfortable. Practice your draw, practice stepping to the side as you draw ... muscle memory is what kicks in when the brain shuts down under stress.
Sorry you had a violent incident to shake you out of your "I'm safe" mentality, but glad you survived and glad you are taking measures to protect yourself and your loved ones.
May you always have your gun and never have to use it. Remember, fate favors the well-prepared.
Teluch has good advice. Here is some more advice I hope you will find helpful.
On the first question - Dry fire, a lot. And get to the range as often as possible to practice shooting as well as accessing your gun under pressure. You should know that gun like the back of your hand. Take it apart and clean it often. Learn how to clear jams.
On the second question - If there is time to talk, respond that there was a point in time that you used to be afraid of guns, too. But now, and I trust this is true, you've gotten training and education about gun handling and gun safety. And as your child grows up, you are planning to teach her how to be safe around guns and to protect herself. How could anyone argue with that?
On the first question - Dry fire, a lot. And get to the range as often as possible to practice shooting as well as accessing your gun under pressure. You should know that gun like the back of your hand. Take it apart and clean it often. Learn how to clear jams.
On the second question - If there is time to talk, respond that there was a point in time that you used to be afraid of guns, too. But now, and I trust this is true, you've gotten training and education about gun handling and gun safety. And as your child grows up, you are planning to teach her how to be safe around guns and to protect herself. How could anyone argue with that?
Thank you all so much for your advice. My husband mentioned muscle memory also, so I will keep practicing. I have no problem with the little bersa thunder .380, but hubby wants me to carry something with more firepower. I am definitely determined that I will never be a victim again.
'Lareina Saindon
New member
my suggestions and 2 cents
Jwmama1, A few things:
1. If you are carrying a gun you are having trouble with, more than likely you will be in more danger when you pull it to protect yourself as it will be taken and used against you. You should be carrying a revolver, they are simple, point and shoot, no jams, no worries. I have several semi autos and some slides are easier than others. Sometimes it is a matter of the gun not being broken in yet. If that is the case, get more practice to loosen it up and to get better at using it. I have one slide my hand just isn't strong enough to pull. I would never conceal carry it as if I couldn't get it to function, a bad guy could more than likely take it from me and use it on me! I would suggest as I did for someone else earlier, that you go to a range that has different guns available to test out and try several revolvers and semi-autos to help you determine if maybe you need to switch guns or if you just need to break yours in. (assuming you bought yours new and it wasn't already broken in.)
2. As for the woman that commented on your "concealed carry" with a child, first of all, she shouldn't have seen your gun at the grocery store if it were concealed. Be careful as if someone wanted to, they could file a complaint about brandishing and in some cases you could lose your license. The changes are small, but some anti-gun people will do anything to take your right to carry away. What I would have said: I would have told her it was really none of her business, but since she asked, you carry to protect not only yourself, but your daughter as well. I would have told her that you will not put your safety or her safety in the hands of someone else and the hope they will be around should something happen. It is your constitutional right to carry and your are exercising it! Just as it is her right not to carry! Also, I would tell her that your child will be raised around guns and will be taught to respect them so that she will not be curious and ignorant as that is what causes accidents with children! Hope that helps!
Jwmama1, A few things:
1. If you are carrying a gun you are having trouble with, more than likely you will be in more danger when you pull it to protect yourself as it will be taken and used against you. You should be carrying a revolver, they are simple, point and shoot, no jams, no worries. I have several semi autos and some slides are easier than others. Sometimes it is a matter of the gun not being broken in yet. If that is the case, get more practice to loosen it up and to get better at using it. I have one slide my hand just isn't strong enough to pull. I would never conceal carry it as if I couldn't get it to function, a bad guy could more than likely take it from me and use it on me! I would suggest as I did for someone else earlier, that you go to a range that has different guns available to test out and try several revolvers and semi-autos to help you determine if maybe you need to switch guns or if you just need to break yours in. (assuming you bought yours new and it wasn't already broken in.)
2. As for the woman that commented on your "concealed carry" with a child, first of all, she shouldn't have seen your gun at the grocery store if it were concealed. Be careful as if someone wanted to, they could file a complaint about brandishing and in some cases you could lose your license. The changes are small, but some anti-gun people will do anything to take your right to carry away. What I would have said: I would have told her it was really none of her business, but since she asked, you carry to protect not only yourself, but your daughter as well. I would have told her that you will not put your safety or her safety in the hands of someone else and the hope they will be around should something happen. It is your constitutional right to carry and your are exercising it! Just as it is her right not to carry! Also, I would tell her that your child will be raised around guns and will be taught to respect them so that she will not be curious and ignorant as that is what causes accidents with children!
Hope that helps!'Lareina Saindon
New member
*chances, not changes
I am actually oc right now, since I do not have a concealed permit yet. As for the slide, I can do it, just not easily yet, my husband wouldn't let me carry it if I was totally inept with it. For me, I tend to want to put it in my left hand to pull the slide back, and it is easier, but my husband said I need to keep it in my shooting hand. I also carry with a round already chambered, so as long as a jam doesn't occur, the odds of someone taking the gun from me is less.
Jwmama1 Im sorry for what you had to go through and I am glad you lived through it. I wont repeat what everyone else has said here as they all have good advice.; My comments are directed at the choice of carry you have, I own several Bersa 380's and I love them. It will loosen up with use. Usually 500 or so rounds to break it in. The are an accurate pistol right out of the box and as for Self defense, you really dont need anything bigger. The loads for them now a days pack a good punch and besides, A pistol no matter the caliber is a man stopper. Shot placement is everything. I offer you a website for Bersa owners, Bersa Chat Forum - The Front Page Many fine people there and more information than you could imagine on bersa's and ammo and any other subject you can think of for this line of weapon. If it were my choice Id stay with what you have and learn to use it well. Practice often and yes that guns slide will loosen up. Good luck to you and hope to see you at Bersachat..........
'Lareina Saindon
New member
glad to hear that. Then, my suggestion would be to get 5-600 rounds through it to see if it loosens up with breaking it in. If it is still too tight, do as someone else suggested and take it to a gun smith to have an easier spring installed. My dad is a gunsmith and he has done action jobs on my cowboy guns to make the trigger pull easier and he has put new springs in for me as well. It is a relatively easy job and shouldn't cost too much. (by the way, I am so sorry about what happened to you, but am so proud of you for refusing to be "the" victim and in taking your own safety into your own hands. Way to be a survivor and not a victim! I hope they caught the scum and you were able to get some JUSTICE! I never say closure, as that word just makes no sense to me!
WB9IIE
Master of Poverty Knob
I have seen a lot of good comments on your post. Sorry to hear about your bad encounter, but happy you survived. As for the lady in the store, you can remind her that when seconds count, call 9-1-1... THEY are only minutes away.
Good luck in getting that slide racked.
Good luck in getting that slide racked.
First question my answer would be push the frame forward don't pull the slide back to you learned this when I was a child and it helped my weak 8 year old body operate the gun better. As for the second question tell people your real story where a gun could have protected you from being violated!
I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. Hearing about things like that infuriates me. I really hate knowing that we live amongst savages but this is the reality of the world today. I don't have much to add as there is some excellent advice in this thread. I will say don't carry JHP rounds in a .380 though. The .380doesn't pass the FBI's testing standards for minimum penetration with a JHP round. The round doesn't have the power to penetrate thick clothing. I'd carry FMJ only or move up to a larger caliber. I'd never carry anything less than 9mm but that's my personal choice.
I'd also suggest taking some self defense training. There may be a time when you can't draw in time or have access to your gun and having the skills to fight off an attack with your bare hands becomes the difference between life or death. What if you are on your way to your daughter's school for example? I've studied several martial arts and I find that Krav Maga is the best because it's simpe to learn in a short time, easy to use, and very effective. Wikipedia has a good write up on it here:
Krav Maga - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
I'd also suggest taking some self defense training. There may be a time when you can't draw in time or have access to your gun and having the skills to fight off an attack with your bare hands becomes the difference between life or death. What if you are on your way to your daughter's school for example? I've studied several martial arts and I find that Krav Maga is the best because it's simpe to learn in a short time, easy to use, and very effective. Wikipedia has a good write up on it here:
Krav Maga - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Self Defense CWP
New member
jwmama1
I agree with the majority of the information that has been posted to your request. I would surely like to offer my sympathy to you and your family for having to experience such a horrific encounter. Practice, both live fire and dry fire(I recommend weekly as a minimum) with your handgun is paramount! Practice reacting to different scenarios you might imagine....BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER....after practicing dry firing and RELOADING your handgun with LIVE ammunition, that the handgun is NOW LOADED and ready for carry once more, and your dry fire PRACTICE is OVER.
Having said that....I strongly encourage all of the persons I work with to CARRY LOADED with a round in the CHAMBER at ALL times. Your attacker simply WILL NOT allow you the time to locate the handgun, pull the slide to the rear and prepare to fire. In my opinion carrying a handgun without a cartridge IN THE CHAMBER is simply false security. Give it some consideration, do more research and I hope you will find a SAFE and secure carry decision.
I agree with the majority of the information that has been posted to your request. I would surely like to offer my sympathy to you and your family for having to experience such a horrific encounter. Practice, both live fire and dry fire(I recommend weekly as a minimum) with your handgun is paramount! Practice reacting to different scenarios you might imagine....BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER....after practicing dry firing and RELOADING your handgun with LIVE ammunition, that the handgun is NOW LOADED and ready for carry once more, and your dry fire PRACTICE is OVER.
Having said that....I strongly encourage all of the persons I work with to CARRY LOADED with a round in the CHAMBER at ALL times. Your attacker simply WILL NOT allow you the time to locate the handgun, pull the slide to the rear and prepare to fire. In my opinion carrying a handgun without a cartridge IN THE CHAMBER is simply false security. Give it some consideration, do more research and I hope you will find a SAFE and secure carry decision.
'Lareina Saindon
New member
Good point and another reason to consider a revolver if not comfortable with semi-auto. Point and shoot, no thought to anything else.
Tell people your real story? ...
I disagree with this advice, but my bias is that I have a preference for privacy and keeping a low profile in public...
Not everyone wants to announce to the world--especially to *insensitive and nosy strangers*--that they have been raped. Would you? Would you really tell a perfect stranger who has already judged you negatively that you have been raped/sodomized?
I disagree with this advice, but my bias is that I have a preference for privacy and keeping a low profile in public...
Not everyone wants to announce to the world--especially to *insensitive and nosy strangers*--that they have been raped. Would you? Would you really tell a perfect stranger who has already judged you negatively that you have been raped/sodomized?
PaxMentis
New member
I may sound like a broken record in here, but again I must recommend Kathy Jackson's site Cornered Cat with excellent advice for all shooters...especially women.
VERDAD Investigations
New member
Your first handgun may not be your last, find and practice regularly both dry fire and live and get comfortable with whatever you plan to defend yourself with! My gal has 4 different handguns and uses them for different situations. She has also sold ones that she couldn't operate easily as compared to others. For example, her thumb was to short to hit the mag release without twisting the weapon completely in her grip, or the slide was too difficult or painful for her to rack. Other things to consider, if you are wounded, incapacitated in one hand, can you fully function the weapon using only one, your support or gun hand? If not, these are things you should be considering, and practicing. I am sure your husband is a good teacher, but strongly consider taking some handgun training courses from a good instructor. There are many methods of racking the slide without both hands, but if you are having difficulty just checking the chamber, I am wondering if this gun isn't the best for you. Handguns are like men, it takes a bit to find the one you love and want to keep!
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