My Wife HATES guns, how do I get her on board?


EarlyBoomer

New member
Her dad is an avid hunter, so she grew up around guns, but since we started a family (3 little ones), she is scared to death. I CC and she is OK with it as long as she doesn't see it and I don't talk about it.
I've tried to get her to the range, but she won't have any of it. I also just tried to show her some basics - just in case something goes down when I'm not there - with very little success.
Any one else have this problem and any serious suggestions would be much appreciated.
 

BassNut

New member
My wife hates guns also. But myself and all three of our kids have been active hunters/shooters since we were all around the age of 10. I pretty much just tell her to deal with it because it is what it is. Been married for going on 23 or 24 years (lost count) so it has been working fine for me.
 

agrippakc

New member
Find a friend that has a wife that likes guns. Going on an outing to some land that you can shoot on. At some point have everyone including the wife that is gun friendly and that might be enough to get her to come watch. Mean while it is important that there be some spectacular "results" like full pop cans exploding and clay pigeons that you are shooting at. This can peak curiosity. Another method,which is the one I used with my young lady, is to find a gun that ties into one of her interests. She likes old fashioned process based activities, she naturally took to shooting cap'n ball revolvers. That lead to shoot Mosin-Nagant rifles and then that lead to collecting weird guns. Now she is almost more active than i am.
 

EarlyBoomer

New member
Thanks Bass,
So your advice is to tell her to deal with it - allllllllrighty?!? I'd say that's already pretty much what's going on, so I guess that makes me feel better. However, I'm more worried about when I'm gone.
Once I was out of town on business and she called me one night asking me where a gun was because there was a suspicious looking caracter walking around the neighborhood. I said "what are you gonna do, throw the gun at him like a dead rat?"
 

SGB

New member
Start printing out all the home invasion stories you can find and leave them laying around where she has to see them.
 

NCIC105

New member
Trade her in for a new model..:sarcastic:

Or borrow a 22 from someone and lead her into shooting it.. Challenge her to a contest..Make sure the prize will tempt her.

The kick from the 22 is not bad and not too loud.... Slowly lead her up to your carry weapon..
 

Trini

New member
I am planning on signing her up for a home defense class. She doesn't have to shoot a gun in class if she doesn't want to but I think this will get her thinking about it . And who knows maybe she'll come home wanting a gun...sneaky, I know. ..lol
 

Hamilton Felix

New member
I'm all for letting her see the home invasion stories, the one about that little gal in OK who defended herself and baby (stress that the cops came 20 minutes later, remind her that when seconds count, the cops are only minutes away). Do you have kids? The ONLY way the average small/weak female can effectively protect her children from multiple large, violent attackers is with a gun. Home invasions happen.

My second wife thought she was scared of guns. Was a little surprised that my pant "clunked" when I undressed. Turns out, considering it all, she'd been exposed to A**holes with guns and it was armed A**holes she was scared of. She went shooting a bit, owned a few of her own, never got hot about them.

My present wife loves knives, guns, lifted 4x4s. An ex-cop veteran of actual violent encounters, she's ALL for being armed.

But something I always did for the second wife: Make sure it's fun and has no bad surprises. Nothing turns a wife off like a painful surprise. Make sure she's got good ear and eye protection. Let her see you shoot it. Let her see the expected recoil, both holding tight with both hands and holding loosely with one hand. Let her decide whether to try it. Almost nobody fails to enjoy a little plinking with a .22.

Of course, all this is assuming you can get her to the range or to a firearms safety course.

I suppose a subcription to Women & Guns wouldn't hurt, maybe get her a couple of Paxton Quigley's books.

If you can get her to absorb Cooper's Four Rules, talk her into a safety class, it's a good idea. Tell her a person may not like cars, but Driver's Ed teaches you how to behave around then and how to handle them safely. A basic gun safety class makes sense even if you're not a shooter; sooner or later you'll encounter a gun.

I suppose changing wives is out ? ? ? :biggrin:
 

scfd5

New member
My wife is ok with guns but after taking her to the ccw class she is more active then i am. She want leave home without a gun now
 

ImAShootingDiva

New member
Oh my...some of these replies.
As a female instructor who has dealt with many women affraid of guns for various reasons, I can tell you without a doubt that scaring her into it will not work.

Some have suggested what I would personally recommend, which would be to shoot with other females who enjoy shooting. It presents a different, more enjoyable atmosphere that she can relax in and find the fun in shooting for herself. And, no offense, but you should stay home. She may be experiencing pressure from you that she may not otherwise have to think about while in female-only company.

If there is a women's shooting group available in your area like SHE CAN SHOOT.com or Women On Target encourage her to give them a try. Also, please put a .22 in her hand when the time comes and let her ease into it.

Good luck to the both of you!
 

Tucker's Mom

New member
........I suppose a subcription to Women & Guns wouldn't hurt, maybe get her a couple of Paxton Quigley's books.

I suppose changing wives is out ? ? ? :biggrin:
I wouldn't recommend books or subscription of any gun magazine...it will only be ignored. My wife was scared of guns because that was how she was raised. It took a while for her to warm up to it (read this as "years" before she warmed up to even touching one). She is an avid reader but even now, she wouldn't pick up any books nor magazines about guns. She is a pretty good shot and plinking is a joy to her. Actual physical activities are her things...she has to do something with her hands whether it be sewing, cooking, flying or photography. Reads? -- her thing are history books, politics, literature and non-fictions. Don't start her with illegal immigration and all hell will break loose! I guess women have their own things and their own interests but if you can involve your wife to any of hers (and vice versa) then add plinking to start with and make it into a small competition, she will start warming up to guns. Make her win every now and then to keep the peace.:biggrin: Just my thoughts...
Tucker's Dad...
 

Rocketgeezer

New member
I guess I'm just lucky that way, mine likes guns, race cars, motorcycles, and football, the gun deal is, if its a handgun it has to have sights she likes, and she prefers scopes on the rifles, aside from that I can pretty much bring anything home and she will shoot it, as far as getting your wife to go with you, the best way to keep yourself out of trouble, LOL, is to get a freind of hers that shoots, hopefully there is one, set up a date, may lunch and a range session, we have gotten several of our female freinds to go this way, a couple really took to it, bought guns, got permits, got a second gun, they figured out that a nice carry gun don't make a good range gun
 

EarlyBoomer

New member
Thanks for all of the suggestions. I really appreciate all of them. Sadly, like Tucker's Dad, I think it will take years...
I point out all of the stories of home invasions, but she also hears stories of accidental shootings involving children; and with her, the latter trumps the former, unfortunately.
I've been around guns my entire life, and understand the importance of education and gun safety. It will be paramount with my children as they get a little older, so maybe as they become interested in guns and shooting, she will. Thanks again.
 

Montanagyrene

New member
Not going to be much help here, because my wife's almost as crazy abut the outdoors as I am-she even wanted to go CAMPING and FISHING on Mother's Day one year!! What I have is a nephew and daughter that are 11, and I was hoping for thoughts on how to introduce THEM to the joys of firearms. I think Hamilton hit is SQUARE when advising GOOD ear/eye protection!!
 

walt629

New member
Her dad is an avid hunter, so she grew up around guns, but since we started a family (3 little ones), she is scared to death. I CC and she is OK with it as long as she doesn't see it and I don't talk about it.
I've tried to get her to the range, but she won't have any of it. I also just tried to show her some basics - just in case something goes down when I'm not there - with very little success.
Any one else have this problem and any serious suggestions would be much appreciated.

Have you had the conversation of what it is that actually scares her about guns? If you can get to the core of her fear, it would be much easier for you to help her beyond it.

My friends wife had an issue with "guns" or so he thought until she and I had a talk about it when they were over to the house. I did not put any pressure on her, I just asked her to help me understand what it was that she didn't like. There were 2 thing. First the noise. She was afraid of the noise. And second, she was afraid of the flying brass.

Once I let the cat out of the bag, he spent the extra buck to get her custom molded ear inserts and a real high quality head set. He did this at a gun show and got her looking at revolvers, no flying brass and promised to stay away from the shooters that were shooting semis.

They found a range that worked for them, she has a S&W .38 and damn near out shoots her hubby!

Don't push her but figure out what the fear is to start. Good luck with her.
 

walt629

New member
I wouldn't recommend books or subscription of any gun magazine...it will only be ignored. My wife was scared of guns because that was how she was raised. It took a while for her to warm up to it (read this as "years" before she warmed up to even touching one). She is an avid reader but even now, she wouldn't pick up any books nor magazines about guns. She is a pretty good shot and plinking is a joy to her. Actual physical activities are her things...she has to do something with her hands whether it be sewing, cooking, flying or photography. Reads? -- her thing are history books, politics, literature and non-fictions. Don't start her with illegal immigration and all hell will break loose! I guess women have their own things and their own interests but if you can involve your wife to any of hers (and vice versa) then add plinking to start with and make it into a small competition, she will start warming up to guns. Make her win every now and then to keep the peace.:biggrin: Just my thoughts...
Tucker's Dad...

Wow. A lot of insight to Mom. Thanks Dad! :pleasantry:
 

creatism

New member
Kinda going through this myself, my fiancé, when we first got together would not let me leave a loaded gun in the house, and did not understand my need to be armed all the times. (funny thing, she was, and still is, the first one to make sure I'm armed when we go pick up something off of Craig's list!)
Thankfully someone already did the hard part, took her out to some land with a 22 and let her play, I've already taught/introduced one woman to shooting, and some of the concerns and issues they have we as men don't get, or understand. When she's ready and wants to shoot I'm going to send her and my other female friend to the range and let them play, I'm of the opinion that in this case it's better if she learns from another woman.
To the OP, best advice TALK to her about it, like someone already mentioned, see if you can pin point what scares her the most. Mine it took me telling her about some of the stupid things I've done and the lessons learned from them, and exposure to good gun handling habits, and now she's pretty much on board with me carrying24/7!!
Good luck!
 

jasonshoe308

New member
My mother hated guns. she didn't like any of us kids around them. Then in Boy Scouts I got my rifle shooting
merit badge. I then joined 4H. Soon after my scout master would take me to local shooting matches and my mom
would come too. Then my scoutmaster and I got her to start shooting at our practices and handload testings,
probly cuz she was bored to death sittin in the car 4-5 hours every sat. Got her a british no. 4 Mk 1, and a
Ruger p95. all through high school my mom was my shooting partner. We shot every weekend. She even out shot me
at 400 yds... once. now we're looking for a smaller 9 or .38 for her to cc.
 

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