Military Humor


HowardCohodas

New member
"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
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"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. - U.S. Marine
Corps
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"Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are
guaranteed to always hit the ground." - USAF Ammo Troop
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"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal
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"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never
encountered automatic weapons." - General MacArthur
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"You, you, and you. Panic. The rest of you, come with me." - U.S.
Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
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"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance
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"Five second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal
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"Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever
volunteer to do anything." - U.S. Navy Swabbie
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"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - David
Hackworth
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"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush." -
Infantry Journal
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"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay
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"Any ship can be a minesweeper .. Once." - Anonomous
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"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown
Marine Recruit
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"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him." - USAF Ammo Troop
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"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." - Paul F.
Crickmore (test pilot)
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"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire." -
Anonymous
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"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than
submarines in the sky." - From an old carrier sailor
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"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough
power left to get you to the scene of the crash." - Anonymous
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"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"
- Anonymous
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"Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the
purpose of storing dead batteries." - Anonymous
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"If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the
crash as possible." - Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
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"Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you." -
Anonymous
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"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." - Sign
over squadron oops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
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"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to." -
Anonymous
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Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go
near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the
appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It
is much more difficult to fly there."
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"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full
power to taxi to the terminal." - Anonymous
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As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having
torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck
arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?".
The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!" -

-- Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)
 

Cooter

Liberty or Death
I found this on a Marine site.

The reason the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines squabble among themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For example, take a simple phrase like, "Secure the building."
• The Army will put guards around the place.
• The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
• The Air Force will take out a 5-year lease with an option to buy.
• The Marines will kill everybody inside and make it a command post.
 

KimberPB

New member
lol. I've heard a few of those in the past but not all of them! Funny stuff! Thanks for sharing.
 

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