I can tell you what you don't want: Kel-Tec P11 or P9. The Glock 26 is a smaller gun but all small guns are going to have some recoil. There is a web site
Your Temporary Index that has an interesting article on women racking the slide. You may just think you can't rack a slide. so you might want to read that article. I have a Ruger LCP .380 that is easy to conceal but of course there is a bit of recoil. If you practice you will get used to the recoil. Wish I had more info for you on this. There are also small Sig's and Kahr guns out there that you might find something to suit you. But any small gun is going to have some recoil. You could always carry a larger gun in a fanny pack, I personally, don't favor purse carry, but that is just a matter of choice. You have to have your CHL before (BEFORE) you carry on your person. when I reviewed this post looks like the web site didn't show it is cornered cat