I went to the local Wal-Mart...


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...this morning to purchase two reams of paper, as I was running low on printer paper. I went home, loaded up the printer and went to cut the grass in the backyard. Although still relatively cool, the hot air made me sweat; it warranted a shower and change of clothes. I had changed from my bib overalls into a fresh pair of jeans and a shirt.

Realizing that I needed some test ammo for a firearm test that I was going to conduct on Monday, I returned to Wal-Mart. Drinking a cup of coffee while waiting at the light, I spilled some on me as I accelerated into a left-hand turn when the light changed, leaving a sizable stain on my shirt and pants.

I parked and went into Wal-Mart through the Garden Department, as I always do. Bill, an older fellow that works as a door greeter, mentioned the stain on my shirt (we always talk for a bit). I said yes and complained that if the Government would pass a law that would make it a crime to carry a coffee cup without a lid, protecting from us from ourselves, life would be better. I cursed the Government for their lack of insight and said that somebody in Congress should have their butt kicked for not protecting the public better than they were.

Moving through the Garden Department, I spied a contained of 'Raid' bug spray that I needed to refill my big bottle. I accidently hit the container as I was grabbling for it and it fell from the shelf, dropped to the floor, broke open, and sprayed all over me. Great, I thought! Just flippin' great! Now I have a coffee stain and Raid bug spray all over me. I grabbed another container and threw it in the shopping cart.

I went to the camping supplies section and picked up: a few boxes of waterproof matches, a couple of waterproofed match containers, four pouches of Mountain House Hearty Stew w/Beef, four pouches of Scrambled Eggs w/ Bacon, four pouches of Neapolitan Ice Cream Bars, and four pouches of Raspberry Crumbles for an upcoming camping trip that I am planning. It is rare that this Wal-Mart stocks this stuff so I thought that I would grab them while I could.

While I was there, I loaded up on propane (10 canisters for the lamps, stove, and heater) and two seven-gallon water containers, and five small battery-powered lamps (they are great for hanging around the campsite).

Stacie was working at the Automotive Department counter today and I asked for her assistance in getting some ammunition (the Automotive Department has the set of keys for the ammunition display). I told her which ones I needed and asked if she knew that she could make a fire from ammunition if she was ever lost in the woods and needed to make a campfire. She said that she didn’t know that and I went on to explain how to do it.

Walking to the ammunition display with her, I saw that Wal-Mart had finally received some bi-pods, as I had been waiting for them to replenish the stock and they had been out of them for quite a while. I have a bi-pod on my Mosin Nagant and I wanted to buy one for the Ruger 10/22 that I have because I was taking it to the outdoor range next week for some plinking and practice - so I threw it in the shopping cart.

We stood at the ammunition display and she asked me what I wanted and I told her that it really didn’t matter; I just put them in a gun and shoot them and don’t really know of any difference between them. So I added 3 boxes of Winchester white boxes of .45 acp, two boxes of 9mm, 6 boxes of CCI Mini-Mags, 4 boxes of CCI .22 WMR, and 4 boxes of Remington .243 (the public range is about a quarter mile from the campground and is a great place to shoot). I also purchased some "Splatter" targets that help me see where things went at 100 yards.

I paid in cash, as I usually do, and left the store; saying goodbye to Bill when I left.

I arrived back home and put everything away.

I sat down at the computer and glanced over to see the flier that was put out by Denver Joint Terrorism Task Force (which can be viewed @ Oath Keepers » Blog Archive » Oath Keepers: FBI Wants Surplus Stores To Spy on Customers) and realized; OMG, I could be a terrorist - I am a terrorist by their guidelines!

According to the flier, I had:

  • Paid in cash.
  • Altered my appearance from the earlier visit I had changed clothes).
  • Had strange odors and bright colored stains on my clothing (coffee and the Raid' bottle spill).
  • Made comments that seemed to suggest or appear to endorse the use of violence in support of a cause (Said that somebody in Government needed their butt kicked).
  • Demonstrated an interest in the use that did not seem consistent with the intended use of an item being purchased. (I explained how to build a fire using a cartridge)
  • Possessed little knowledge of intended purchase items (I did not express the difference between ammunition).
  • Made (bulk) purchases of; weatherproof matches, match containers, propane, battery-operated lamps (night vision devices), ready-to-eat meals, and a bi-pod.
Obviously, my life style is different from Stacie's life style and I did not have that much of a Southern accent.

Although the above story is fictional, it does convey the ease at which someone out of his or her right mind might misconstrue me as a terrorist.

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