I got a gun for my wife the other day

I've learned to get guns and keep my wife. She looked in the safe a few days ago and asked "where did all those come from?" I said "I was told these guns here were males." pointing to the oldest guns in the safe, "It seems there is a female gun in this safe somewhere."
 
My husband bought me a mood ring one time. When I was in a good mood it was a beautiful blue color. When I was in a bad mood it would leave a red mark on his forehead.
 

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