how to convince my wife to get a permit?
- Thread starter jg1967
- Start date
Camerondavidl
New member
My honest opinion. Don't! If she doesn't feel comfortable carrying a gun then by all means she shouldn't carry one. If I need to use my weapon I feel confident that I am able to use it. And can make the split second decision that it takes. But if someone isn't ready to carry then that's the decision right there. It shouldn't even be a thing to try and convince anyone of. Its a decision that a person must make on their own. Without help.
Since she's talking about "Negative Energy" she is either crazy or a victim of the Dominant Anti Gun Liberal Media who teach us that violence is random and there's nothing we can do about it.
Anyway.
Is she familiar with pistols? The mistake most guys make is to take their wives/girlfriends out and shoot Magnums or Forty Fives and the women have a negative reaction to the recoil. The proper way to teach women/children to shoot is with the .22LR or .22WMR.
With the lesser recoil of the rimfire ammunition they'll have fun shooting and will lose their negative image of firearms. You'll be hard pressed to get them to stop.
Once the negative image is replaced with a more positive image. Heck it's just plain fun. Discussions of carry becomes more reasonable and less "negative energy" oriented.
And even if you can't get them to move up to a caliber more suited to self defense: a small frame .22 Magnum revolver with 8 shots like my Taurus with a 2" barrel is a million times better than nothing. I carry mine as a back-up to my .45.
Plus it's cheap to practice with and practice creates familiarity and confidence.
But I do have to warn you. Some women are ill suited to carry! And an attacker will talk them out of surrendering their weapon. Hard to believe. But it's true. About 800 women a year let the lowlife scum talk them out of their pistol. "You don't really want to shoot anybody. Just give me the gun and everything will be ok!"
Anyway.
Is she familiar with pistols? The mistake most guys make is to take their wives/girlfriends out and shoot Magnums or Forty Fives and the women have a negative reaction to the recoil. The proper way to teach women/children to shoot is with the .22LR or .22WMR.
With the lesser recoil of the rimfire ammunition they'll have fun shooting and will lose their negative image of firearms. You'll be hard pressed to get them to stop.
Once the negative image is replaced with a more positive image. Heck it's just plain fun. Discussions of carry becomes more reasonable and less "negative energy" oriented.
And even if you can't get them to move up to a caliber more suited to self defense: a small frame .22 Magnum revolver with 8 shots like my Taurus with a 2" barrel is a million times better than nothing. I carry mine as a back-up to my .45.
Plus it's cheap to practice with and practice creates familiarity and confidence.
But I do have to warn you. Some women are ill suited to carry! And an attacker will talk them out of surrendering their weapon. Hard to believe. But it's true. About 800 women a year let the lowlife scum talk them out of their pistol. "You don't really want to shoot anybody. Just give me the gun and everything will be ok!"
R
Renbots
Guest
Treasure the differences between you, it's what makes being married interesting. Be happy and thankful that she let's you be yourself. My advice, don't force the issue. My wife is not in favor of having a handgun, but did not object to me doing so when we had a good discussion over it. I asked her if she wanted to join me for what is in NY a very lengthy process. She declined, and that is ok with me.
She's actually from Texas and has served in the Army, chuckle, so she is definetly NOT anti gun. We did go shooting together a few times and she does okay with the medium calibers. Predictably she's not real crazy on the big calibers as you said. She's just determined about that negative energy thing, one of the few things we heartily disagree about. I am more like the guy who got pulled over, handed the cop his permit and politely told him about the 4 handguns he had on him, the 2 rifles in the trunk and the baton on the passenger seat and got asked what he was afraid of "What am I afraid of, officer? Not a damned thing."
Budreaux39
New member
It seems to me that you are just wanting your wife to have protection if any negative energy ever happens her way and you are not there to help, nor anyone else... I see a lot of people that would NEVER 'put themselves in that situation' , I remind them that 'they' don't make that choice... I have also had a lot of students that have told me 'that having a gun for protection was never a thought" and they don't even like guns, but for a reason that happened in their life or the life of someone close, their thought process had been changed. Now the WANT to learn, get a gun, a license, whatever to help them not have something like that happen to them. WANT, is the key but can be encouraged.
Dont give up but you may have to use different angles (friends, relatives, articles, reason, etc) to help her WANT to be armed. Here is a little something:
If you feel that maybe you should forget about carrying a gun or using a gun as a means of self-defense because the responsibility and liability is too great, let me validate your awareness that you face a great responsibility and a huge liability. However, let me remind you that there us nothing in this world more valuable than your life and the lives of your loved ones.
Dont give up but you may have to use different angles (friends, relatives, articles, reason, etc) to help her WANT to be armed. Here is a little something:
If you feel that maybe you should forget about carrying a gun or using a gun as a means of self-defense because the responsibility and liability is too great, let me validate your awareness that you face a great responsibility and a huge liability. However, let me remind you that there us nothing in this world more valuable than your life and the lives of your loved ones.
While I didn't have to deal with that, my wife actively wanted a carry permit even though she hasn't ever actually carried, I would present it to your wife in the same way. If YOU are carrying and leave your gun in the car, for whatever reason, and she takes the car somewhere, it is better for her to have the permit if she ever gets pulled over or has any contact with law enforcement. If the cop sees the gun somehow having a permit to carry will save a lot of grief.
BlackieChan
New member
Hmm, if you can't convince her, I won't have much luck either. :\
H
handgonnetoter
Guest
I agree 100%. CCW is partly the gun, partly your training level, but mostly your attitude. If your going to be having to pull a gun on someone, then you have to be ready to pull the trigger - if need be. Criminals make their trade by studying people, and are pretty good at telling whether or not you mean business.:smile:
aj's 40 cal
New member
MY GF is the same way. I had her want to get her ccw, and she did. she has not carried much, but its nice to know if she goes someplace out of the area or in a "bad area of town" she can carry if she wants to. try that and if she doesnt want to carry atleast she has the option to or not, rather than just cant..
I assumed an unfamiliarity because of the Negative Energy and that you said she's not crazy. But if this is not the case: then you have to accept that she's crazy. Anyone who believes in "negative energy" is flippin crazy and perhaps shouldn't carry a pistol.
But if you still want to attempt to convince her to carry: you should play "what if." Every time she tells you about her day.
I don't really advise this unless you're willing to risk a divorce.
But if you still want to attempt to convince her to carry: you should play "what if." Every time she tells you about her day.
I don't really advise this unless you're willing to risk a divorce.
Convincing another to get a CCW permit
I agree with camerondavidl: only someone who is ready and able to USE a gun should carry a gun. If your wife isn't to that point, then there is no point.
I carry--my husband does not. He has a good reason, and I respect his assessment of his personality type. I carry because I never want to have to wait for someone to "save" me.
I would never say anyone else is crazy (because we are all a little crazy in our own way), but perhaps ask her these questions:
Good luck, but remember that a gun won't do her much good if she isn't ready to use it.
I agree with camerondavidl: only someone who is ready and able to USE a gun should carry a gun. If your wife isn't to that point, then there is no point.
I carry--my husband does not. He has a good reason, and I respect his assessment of his personality type. I carry because I never want to have to wait for someone to "save" me.
I would never say anyone else is crazy (because we are all a little crazy in our own way), but perhaps ask her these questions:
- If your wife believes that carrying will attract "negative energy," how does she explain all the attacks on unarmed individuals?
- Predators look for the weakest targets--what is she ACTIVELY doing to not be categorized as such?
Good luck, but remember that a gun won't do her much good if she isn't ready to use it.
TlWheatley
New member
My wife has her's but hardly ever carrys. However, I leave one in my truck once in a while, so if she drives it, she's ok.
H
handgonnetoter
Guest
This has been a hurdle for my wife and I, but she will not get a CC permit. I just have to make sure I always have my gun on me and don't leave it with her. Strange how people view a firearm.
rudiepop
New member
You need to help her redefine negative energy.
Example:
1)You're at at a gas station picking up a drink. Armed robber comes in making demands and starts shooting people.
= negative energy:nono:
2) You're able to pull out your gun, bust a round or three in his stupid "arse" and stop him from hurting people.
= Positive energy:yes2:
Example:
1)You're at at a gas station picking up a drink. Armed robber comes in making demands and starts shooting people.
= negative energy:nono:
2) You're able to pull out your gun, bust a round or three in his stupid "arse" and stop him from hurting people.
= Positive energy:yes2:
My husband for the longest time wanted me to have my permit but I resisted. Then we moved to a city where the crime rate is horrid and it really made me more aware. I am often alone or with kids on my errands and no one can protect me or my kids but me in those moments. So now I practice regularly, I found a gun that works great for my needs, and I have the ability to be safe. She has to be ready. Her protection has to become important enough to outweigh the negative energy. Introduce her to some of the girl gunner blogs. Take her to shows to see the energy is not negative or violent. We are just women who are protecting ourselves and our families.
localgirl
New member
Anyone who doesn't believe in negative energy just needs to spend the afternoon reading USACarry forum posts (rimshot).
And, if you're going to support the right to keep and bear arms, you need to support the right for other folks not to. It's their choice, not yours.
That being said, I never felt strongly about carrying one way or another.
My husband wanted his CC permit, and offered to pay my fee for the class. I said why the heck not? It doesn't mean I have to carry. It just gives me one more permit.
I took the class and came out with a new appreciation for CC and OC. At first I didn't carry, and I would tease my husband every time he holstered up. "You expecting a gunfight at the WalMart corral, Hon?"
He would just smile and say something like "You never know" or "I'd rather have it and not need need it..."
After a little while, I thought, I have a permit, why not carry? Plus, I'm a little bit of a control freak, and as much as I trust Hubby with my life, I'd like to have a fighting chance, too, thank you very much.
At first I didn't carry every day, because I didn't want to have to think about it that often. Then I just decided to get a very small, carry-friendly bag. It doesn't mess with my style and I don't have to think about it. I could just grab it on my way out the door every day. I'm now at the stage where I'm considering on-body carry.
The more I researched and read, the more I liked the idea of carry. The more I carried, the more I researched.
I understand your wife's sentiments. I do believe in negative energy, and I believe that if you are looking for trouble, trouble will find you. However, for myself, I found that once I started carrying, I felt much more confident and projected a much more positive energy, as I no longer felt like any given situation could disintegrate into violence against my person.
I think the world would be a beautiful place if we didn't have guns. Honestly. Sunshine and rainbows and all of that. Much positive energy. But until that day happens, it's just common sense that I protect my little spot of sunshine.
And, if you're going to support the right to keep and bear arms, you need to support the right for other folks not to. It's their choice, not yours.
That being said, I never felt strongly about carrying one way or another.
My husband wanted his CC permit, and offered to pay my fee for the class. I said why the heck not? It doesn't mean I have to carry. It just gives me one more permit.
I took the class and came out with a new appreciation for CC and OC. At first I didn't carry, and I would tease my husband every time he holstered up. "You expecting a gunfight at the WalMart corral, Hon?"
He would just smile and say something like "You never know" or "I'd rather have it and not need need it..."
After a little while, I thought, I have a permit, why not carry? Plus, I'm a little bit of a control freak, and as much as I trust Hubby with my life, I'd like to have a fighting chance, too, thank you very much.
At first I didn't carry every day, because I didn't want to have to think about it that often. Then I just decided to get a very small, carry-friendly bag. It doesn't mess with my style and I don't have to think about it. I could just grab it on my way out the door every day. I'm now at the stage where I'm considering on-body carry.
The more I researched and read, the more I liked the idea of carry. The more I carried, the more I researched.
I understand your wife's sentiments. I do believe in negative energy, and I believe that if you are looking for trouble, trouble will find you. However, for myself, I found that once I started carrying, I felt much more confident and projected a much more positive energy, as I no longer felt like any given situation could disintegrate into violence against my person.
I think the world would be a beautiful place if we didn't have guns. Honestly. Sunshine and rainbows and all of that. Much positive energy. But until that day happens, it's just common sense that I protect my little spot of sunshine.
Brandy Ward
New member
My husband wanted me to get my permit and I was reluctant about it also. He finally called me from work one day(Thursday) and said, "You are signed up for your class, you take it on Saturday." WOW, I thought... but I actually enjoyed the class and felt a lot better about carrying myself... I went to the Sherriff's office and applied and had my permit about two weeks later! I was very excited and carry just about everywhere I go. Maybe try taking that approach with her... LOL! She might be angry with you at first but she will feel a lot better after it is over
Pinnacle Safety
New member
You love her you can't be with her all the time you want her to be able to defend herself you don't know what you would do without her
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