How do I get the wife to stop saying......

[Aggressive1]

How do I get my wife to stop saying...."you don't need to take THAT" or "why do you still have THAT on?"
She was supportive of me buying the firearm and supportive of me getting my CWP, but now that I have it she wants to me leave it at home unless I am going to "a bad neighborhood" or going to the office early or late.

 

[2beararms]

Most places still say you can't simply shoot her so the easy solution is not available.

My wife knows and has seen my firearms (most of them anyway, there is one "long steel case" she refuses to look into, but the bear in my avatar is holding its contents), knows I have a permit, and knows that "sometimes" I am carrying a weapon, but to eliminate her phobia and my being questioned I simply adopted a the very simple policy of treating her the same as everyone else ... CONCEALED IS CONCEALED!

There is ZERO reason for me to open carry even in the living room. Yes it is MY house but it is also MY world and I don't open carry there. So if I carry on my person at home, I carry CONCEALED. There is a 9mm within my grasp as I type but if you were in my home at the moment you would not know it. When we come home from "being out" I generally go to the "other room" if I want to remove my weapon. The fact is most men's first motion upon entering their house is to go to the bathroom anyway.

Why do people feel the need to flaunt weapons at their spouses. I have a lot of freinds who ask the same question you did because they feel a need to strap a 1911 on their hip with a pair of shorts and a T-Shirt at the house. You tuck your t-shirt at the house but cover the butt outside?

If you wife doesn't like want to SEE the guns, does she not deserve the same respect you give the cashier at the grocery and CONCEAL your weapon.

My wife does not want to KNOW when I am carrying, if I make it obvious she will begin that questioning process. This is because guns in general make her nervous, and once I learned to respect that, I realized that by simply concealing from her all of it stopped because she never really KNOWS if I am armed or not ...

... but when we are out, and there is a slinky figure in the darkness behind us, I can feel that little flip of her eyes toward me and that simple little clothing adjustment we all make in preparation of potential danger is plenty to ease her mind at the moment saying ... Yes Dear, I have it covered ... without any actual communication at all. And at that moment I also know that she appreciates the simplicity of the solution ...

CONCEALED IS CONCEALED!

 

[HK4U]

Every time you see an article or a news story about someone being attacked show her. Show her the ones with the bad outcome and also the ones when the presence of a firearm saved the day. Remind her there are no "good neighborhoods". Criminals don't stay in the bad "neighborhoods". If we were clairvoyant we all would just avoid the place where the trouble will happen but sense we are not it is best to be armed always and everywhere.

 

[HootmonSccy]

Great response "2bear"...
One additional thought is the original poster stated "going to "a bad neighborhood" or going to the office early or late".
My suggestion is to keep your eyes open on the news, or in the paper for articles where bad things happened in good places.. I wouldn't do this EVERYDAY, but just once in a while, when the article really applies to your point. The success of this will depend on whether your wife catches on to this as a pattern of action for you and whether she is the type to throw other articles back at you such as a kid getting shot, etc.
So if you only do it once in a while, it may move her mentally away from the notion that bad things only happen in bad places or at bad times.

Good luck..

 

[HootmonSccy]

I like the way you think HK, you beat me by 1 minute!!!
I guess you are the quick draw between us!!! :sarcastic:

 

[HK4U]

I like the way you think HK, you beat me by 1 minute!!!
I guess you are the quick draw between us!!! :sarcastic:

Well what is the old saying about great minds think a like?:biggrin:

 

[2beararms]

Your going to tell your wife that she is not clairvoyant HK???

Wow, you have much more courage than me! :fie:

 

[HK4U]

Your going to tell your wife that she is not clairvoyant HK???

Wow, you have much more courage than me! :fie:

In her case sometimes I wonder.:lol:

 

[mikeintexas]

How do I get my wife to stop saying...."you don't need to take THAT" or "why do you still have THAT on?"
She was supportive of me buying the firearm and supportive of me getting my CWP, but now that I have it she wants to me leave it at home unless I am going to "a bad neighborhood" or going to the office early or late.

When I was waiting for my CHL in the mail, I carried around the house. My wife laughed at me, said I was like a kid waiting for Christmas. Since then, she/we have been through some incidents that caused her to re-think things. We are going to take her CHL class in a couple of weeks.

On a side note, I carry in a CB Supertuck. I told her I was going to get her a CB MiniTuck for her LCP. I couldn't believe it when she said OK.

 

[chroode]

Get a hold of a copy or two of the NRA magazine the Rifleman or American Hunter and let her read some of the "Armed Citizen" stories in there. Those are the ones that are not broadcast nationwide.

 

[gdcleanfun]

My .02 worth...

My .02 worth: if you want your wife to stop saying those things to you then have her go out and buy her own things to carry, cc or oc. I'd never say any of those things to my hubby because I wouldn't want him turning around and saying them to me. :no: I believe that I carry more often than he does. :biggrin:

 

[utimmer43]

My wife isn't nervous around guns so that isn't an issue. However she, like many, doesn't think I need to carry everywhere I go or around the house. I used to get the occasional rolling of the eyes or the "commando" comments. At first I would respond with my reasoning, but soon found myself sounding like a broken record. So, I just started ignoring her or answering with a simple "Yup", and the comments ceased. That may make me sound like a jerk, but it got the point across that, "Yes I am carrying EVERYWHERE no matter how silly you think I am." I suppose it was just something new that took some getting used to. She almost doesn't think about it anymore.

 

[HK4U]

Many people for one reason or another live in denile. They go through life with the attitude that all bad things happen to the other guy. That is one reason I sujested exposing her to as many stories as you can that show the necessity of beaing armed. The follwoing sites, if you can get her to look at them, might be of help also.

The Paxton Quigley Web Page

Cornered Cat

 

[Wolfling68]

Tell her "I would rather carry every day and never need it, than go out once and have you hurt or killed because I didn't have it."

I could not live with myself if anything happend to my loved ones because I left my defensive tools at home.

 

[TatankaGap]

my philosophy

Tell her "I would rather carry every day and never need it, than go out once and have you hurt or killed because I didn't have it."

I could not live with myself if anything happend to my loved ones because I left my defensive tools at home.

I don't carry at home because there is zero chance that any intruder can get into my home before I can get to my holster - but I am never on a different floor or more than a room away from my primary; but if I am in and out of the house, or in the middle of the day, I'd just as soon carry rather than take it on and off.

I would never leave my defensive tools at home. Who would want to be the guy who could have saved his family but left his pistol home that day? That guy would be a real idiot. I will never be that guy. My commitment is to carry for 5 years straight and after that, if for some reason, I decide not to carry any more, then I won't. Chances are that unless the world changes a lot for the better, I will renew my rolling 5 year carry commitment when it comes up -

Just my own two cents....:biggrin:

 

[Aggressive1]

I have to clarify something in my origional post. My wife did not actual see my pistol, she decided to feel me up and since we was standing behind me while I was sitting in an office chair she hit it on her way up. And I had to explain...yes I was happy to see you but yes that is still a gun in my pants, haha. So to clarify, I do try to keep it out of site out of mind. But...because the safe place for me to lock and load in the morning is in my closet there are many times she walks in on my and knows I'm carrying. Before I got my CWP last week she and the kids knew when I had it because after carrying under my shirt to my truck (in my driveway) I would have to transfer to the console. I may find that she knows about it less now that I don't have to transfer, but there are still times when we get close that she'll know.

I do appreciate the tips about sending articles and showing her the articles in the NRA magazine. Maybe that'll convince her to carry...her father and I have been working on that for a while. But although she is fine with me carrying (to bad places) she is not interested in firing a gun or carrying a gun.

 

[2beararms]

Now I understand your problem Agressive ... see my wife gave up "feeling me up" years ago.:sarcastic:

 

[PascalFleischman]

How do I get my wife to stop saying...."you don't need to take THAT" or "why do you still have THAT on?"
She was supportive of me buying the firearm and supportive of me getting my CWP, but now that I have it she wants to me leave it at home unless I am going to "a bad neighborhood" or going to the office early or late.

Time heals all wounds.....eventually, she'll just learn it's a battle not worth fighting. :cray:

The only heat I get anymore is that I won't tuck my shirt in. Either that, or I complain that my pants are too big, she says "Well if you didn't dress around your gun, it wouldn't be an issue!"

 

[dancingwolf]

I wish I could relate to your situation, but I really can't :no:- the wife has been supportive of my interest in guns from the start of our relationship.

Early on, before we were married, I introduced her to guns and shooting and she took to it like a pig to slop!:biggrin: So, when I was ready to get my state CCW, there was no question as to her feeling on this - in fact, we applied together and can both legally carry in thirty-two states.

The only advice I can offer is to try to GENTLY push her in the direction of concealed carry: Why it's important and what the ramifications to BOTH of you could be should you (or her) be accosted by a miscreant bent on harming you both. Then try to get her to the range and teach her gun safety and how to handle a firearm and who knows - she may get to like it!

Good luck!

 

[Daugherty16]

The Wife...

doesn't like guns. Vowed never to have one in the house, then after we'd been married 10 years she finally asked what was in the lockbox in my closet shelf. Duh! Then when i began to drift back to hunting, i bought a safe for my home office; that actually made her feel a lttle better about the growing collection of rifles and handguns.

Shortly after 9-11 (when my office was destroyed) i decided to pursue my CCW. Now i carry just about everywhere except work. She has defnitely dropped hints, made comments about living in fear, etc. I NEVER tell her whether i'm armed, and she almost never asks or observes it on her own. As to the fear, I've explained it like this:

"It is definitely not about fear - quite the opposite. It's about celebrating the value of my life, of your life, and of our family. It's about a changing world where violent crime can happen in an instant, right in your living room with the growing problem of home invasions. Mostly it's about my responsibility to my family, as protector. I would rather die resisting than be defenseless as some thugs savage my wife and daughter. It's about being prepared for the unthinkable, should it ever happen. It's about empowerment, not fear. "

I rarely talk about guns, but do mention certain Armed American stories from time to time. She still doesn't like guns, but has said a couple of times, she should take my handgun safety course and learn how to shoot. Just so she would know how if ever necessary. That hasn't happened yet, but i am holding out hope.