How do I ease her mind.

D

dmelectrician

New member
Hi everyone,
This is my first post, couldnt seem to find the introduce yourself topic, and I have been reading here for a few days. First off I live in Mass, I dont have a ltc yet, but am in the process of finding and taking my class so I can apply. I have been around guns my whole life, plan on getting one soon, but face the little problem of the girl being scared and nervous. I have tried to ease her mind, but no luck.. what can I do to get her not so afraid? I know I am not the only one who has to deal with this.. Thanks in advance..
 
Don't try. Keep your gun(s), don't bring them up, be polite and respectful and wait for her to approach you about it. Then it will be on her time and not offensive.

If she's truly an anti, reason won't work. Just quietly go about your business, keep your guns, and wait for her. If you lose her over this, goodbye.
 
Dr Dave said:
Don't try. Keep your gun(s), don't bring them up, be polite and respectful and wait for her to approach you about it. Then it will be on her time and not offensive.

If she's truly an anti, reason won't work. Just quietly go about your business, keep your guns, and wait for her. If you lose her over this, goodbye.
Click to expand...

What he said.
 
Some people are convinced that firearms will discharge on their own. Some think firearms are evil.
Find a trap range. Usually on sundays, its a family affair. Go shoot a round or two, you and her talk to some of the people.
If you buy a pistol, at first keep it locked down tiight.
Get more then the minimum training, and put your certificates in a scrap book for your wife to browse.
Go slow, don't spend a great deal of time on the subject.
After awhile, take her to a range, just to watch you, and others shoot.
Hopefully, indoors where she won't hear the loud reports behind the glass.
What ever you do, don't push.


Ask questions on here or other websites. At first stay out of the politics, and God. Those two subjects seem to bring out the wingnuts.
 
theicemanmpls said:
Some people are convinced that firearms will discharge on their own. Some think firearms are evil.
Find a trap range. Usually on sundays, its a family affair. Go shoot a round or two, you and her talk to some of the people.
If you buy a pistol, at first keep it locked down tiight.
Get more then the minimum training, and put your certificates in a scrap book for your wife to browse.
Go slow, don't spend a great deal of time on the subject.
After awhile, take her to a range, just to watch you, and others shoot.
Hopefully, indoors where she won't hear the loud reports behind the glass.
What ever you do, don't push.


Ask questions on here or other websites. At first stay out of the politics, and God. Those two subjects seem to bring out the wingnuts.
Click to expand...

At first stay out of the politics, and God. Those two subjects seem to bring out the wingnuts.
I knew if we waited long enough we would find something we agreed on:sarcastic:
 
dmelectrician said:
Hi everyone,
This is my first post, couldnt seem to find the introduce yourself topic, and I have been reading here for a few days. First off I live in Mass, I dont have a ltc yet, but am in the process of finding and taking my class so I can apply. I have been around guns my whole life, plan on getting one soon, but face the little problem of the girl being scared and nervous. I have tried to ease her mind, but no luck.. what can I do to get her not so afraid? I know I am not the only one who has to deal with this.. Thanks in advance..
Click to expand...

You might want to sit & just ask her point blank what is it that scares her about it? Maybe theres something in her pass with a ex or maybe in her childhood! Things like that don't ever really go away.Might be things shes not told you about since up to now having a weapon wasn't an issue!
If that might be the case,, Then thats when you need to reassue her.Like others have said go slow. Don't get upset,that forsure won't help you at all! It will just reinforce her side & feelings about it!
Then you need to sit with her & explain the reasons why you feel the need to have one & a permit to carry it!
Just maybe after a while you can get her to go the range,watch you shoot! Hopefully there will be some women there! Better yet go on Ladies Nite! For sure there will be Hubbys/ Boyfriends with their ladies there,,, It won't happen over nite but it might down the road aways!
Good Luck,,
 
Iceman and HK, I'd amend what you said. It's not that you have to stay out of God and politics, it's that you have to wait for her to bring it up, so it's on her time and not offensive. Answer honestly and let it go. If she wants more, she'll let you know; if not, you don't need to bring it up.

Important bottom line is I can't tell you what is right for you, only what has worked for me, your mileage will vary. Some of the things I believe are wrong. Hope to figure some of them out. I cannot tell you what is right for you, only what has worked for me :)
 
Thanks for the replies. Im probably gonna take the slow approach with her, she isnt totally against it, just scared. .. Thanks again.
 
My girl was uneasy about firearms being in our home. That was short lived once i made her watch an episode of "I survived". This show is a great eye openerto the ignorent
 
:biggrin:Buy the little woman a kitchen appliance. Doing that lets em know how much they are appreciated.:pleasantry:
Link Removed
let us know how it works out.
 
I've broken the ice with several borderline anti-gunners and one young woman who came to my place totally anti and left with her certified 3 shot group target-which she put on her fridge door. Nothing works all the time and each individual will respond to different approaches. Let her know that you find firearms interesting and that they are part of your life-just as she is.
 
dmelectrician said:
Thanks for the replies. I'm probably gonna take the slow approach with her, she isn't totally against it, just scared. .. Thanks again.
Click to expand...
You're in a good position then, because if it is based on nothing but lack of any experience, fear is the easiest to overcome with positive experience. Take her with you to your class, just as an observer (if the administrator will allow it). Take her with you when you go to buy a gun, so she can see how harmless the whole process is when done in a safe, responsible manner. If you can afford it, buy 2 guns that day, one being your intended carrier, the other being a .22 for her to eventually "break into" the world of shooting. (when she is ready, of course.) Link Removed is a website geared toward women. Not necessarily toward women who are afraid of guns, but you might find some more useful advice there.
 
Where in MA? Use the private message function if your not comfortable posting the location.

In this case however you need to "stick to your guns"... Yea, had to go there. Shall not be infringed covers it..:sarcastic:

Fear in most cases, is due to the underlying issue of ignorance... Education dispels ignorance and replaces it with confidence.

Kinda what Utimmer wrote.:biggrin:

Timmer, You must be very happy at the election results:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin: Yes?

Peace...
 
6shootercarry said:
Timmer, You must be very happy at the election results:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin: Yes?

Peace...
Click to expand...
Eh, kinda. Toomey (our senate hopeful) was the reason Specter jumped parties last year, and was a shoe in to begin with. While I am glad to know that Specter is out, Sestak doesn't have the Washington D.C. baggage or the party jump that plagued Specter. I know that isn't they way we want our candidates to win, but it sure would have made me much more comfortable leading up to the general.

Other than that semi-victory, all my other picks were defeated. The one I was most excited about was Sam Rohrer, who lost by a 2:1 margin to the "establishment's" pick in the Governor race. Our Lt.Gov. pick was also the establishment candidate.

My pick for U.S. Rep. was Allen Griffith, a guy who lives right down the road from me. You may have seen him on Fox News last year during the summer break town-hall meeting with Arlen Specter. The guy who did win seems to be pretty decent, but anyone who stands in front of Arlen and tells him to "just leave us alone" has got my vote. YouTube - Allen Griffith Confronts Arlen Specter
 
So no one has mentioned the NRA and the groups for women, the Dare not to be a victim, the monthly stories of people using guns to defend self, family, and home, and make it a family day take her to the range and let her shoot a .22, once she finds out how much fun they are you will have a convert.
 
Sounds like some great advice from all. I can't add much to what has already been said, but here goes. Sounds like you have a perfect chance to get a new person to come over to our way of thinking, and if you can get her started off in the right direction, she may get some more of her friends converted. So good luck and don't forget the diamonds first :biggrin:
 
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