Helping a female coworker...

festus

festus

God Bless Our Troops!!!
OK here is the situation...
A female co-worker has been repeatedly threatened by her ex and his family.
She is eligible for a FL CCW (she has a DD214 and a clean background)
I have given her all the information of where to go and who to call to get her FL CCW.
Now she wants me to teach her to become a better shot.
I am afraid that Mrs. Festus will not take kindly to this and I do not blame her.
Are there any female shooting groups in Northwest Florida that I can refer her to to avoid any appearance of moral or ethical compromise?
 
Festus, Try these folks: Link Removed

and contact Pete:
Peter B. Straub
NRA Master Training Counselor
Ft. Walton Beach, FL 32547

Home Phone: (850) 864-2761

E-mail: [email protected]

NRA Master Training Counselor
Instructor Training Classes and Basic Firearm Classes
Pistol, Rifle, Shotgun, Personal Protection
Range Safety Officer, Basic Reloading class
Muzzle Loading Rifle, Pistol, and Shotgun
Basic Pistol and Personal Protection class may be used
to pursue the Florida Concealed Weapons License
 
festus I would suggest that if you do consider teaching her that you talk to your wife first and have your wife come along for any instruction time.
 
HK4U said:
festus I would suggest that if you do consider teaching her that you talk to your wife first and have your wife come along for any instruction time.
Click to expand...
+1 to what HK4U said.. She might as well learn from someone as knowledgeable as you!!
Festus, at least you understand that the situation could be misconstrued regardless of your intent.. Good Job on maintaining integrity..
 
festus said:
OK here is the situation...
A female co-worker has been repeatedly threatened by her ex and his family.
She is eligible for a FL CCW (she has a DD214 and a clean background)
I have given her all the information of where to go and who to call to get her FL CCW.
Now she wants me to teach her to become a better shot.
I am afraid that Mrs. Festus will not take kindly to this and I do not blame her.
Are there any female shooting groups in Northwest Florida that I can refer her to to avoid any appearance of moral or ethical compromise?
Click to expand...

I am reminded of a BUSINESS PRINCIPLE about someone asking for help with a problem.

" I will be glad to give you my advice on solving your problem, as long as you remember it's YOUR problem. If at any time, you try to hand me your problem and entangle me with it, my help will stop at once."

She has a domestic problem, and some angry baggage that goes with it. I would listen to her problem and give her assistance on where to go for possible solutions, but I would NOT get involved beyond that. That's not being callous. It's being smart. You have no allegiance to her for any reason, and you didn't do anything to cause her the problem, so you have no reason to get into the middle of it.

What if her family and EX happen to think you're a meddling takeover type of guy, and you are teaching her to shoot them? They could very easily attack you and cause you a lot of harm. This isn't the time or situation to start playing Cowboy, and rescue the damsel in distress. YOUR damsel is the one you need to protect! Let the other one take care of herself, or find someone else to take care of her. That's what bodyguards do. She can hire one if necessary.

p.s.: You can tell your wife that a simple "thank you" from her is payment enough for me. LOL!!
 
THAT'S WHY i ASKED THE ETHICS QUESTION!!!

GOV5 said:
I am reminded of a BUSINESS PRINCIPLE about someone asking for help with a problem.

" I will be glad to give you my advice on solving your problem, as long as you remember it's YOUR problem. If at any time, you try to hand me your problem and entangle me with it, my help will stop at once."

She has a domestic problem, and some angry baggage that goes with it. I would listen to her problem and give her assistance on where to go for possible solutions, but I would NOT get involved beyond that. That's not being callous. It's being smart. You have no allegiance to her for any reason, and you didn't do anything to cause her the problem, so you have no reason to get into the middle of it.

What if her family and EX happen to think you're a meddling takeover type of guy, and you are teaching her to shoot them? They could very easily attack you and cause you a lot of harm. This isn't the time or situation to start playing Cowboy, and rescue the damsel in distress. YOUR damsel is the one you need to protect! Let the other one take care of herself, or find someone else to take care of her. That's what bodyguards do. She can hire one if necessary.

p.s.: You can tell your wife that a simple "thank you" from her is payment enough for me. LOL!!
Click to expand...

I was already thinking down those lines. I will forward to her the instructor info that Wolfhunter provided...I trust his judgement implicitly! That will allow me to be of help without the involvement previously mentioned.
 
tell her to get an order of protection and a tape recorder so it's not her word against his if he contacts her.
 
GOV5 said:
I am reminded of a BUSINESS PRINCIPLE about someone asking for help with a problem.

" I will be glad to give you my advice on solving your problem, as long as you remember it's YOUR problem. If at any time, you try to hand me your problem and entangle me with it, my help will stop at once."

She has a domestic problem, and some angry baggage that goes with it. I would listen to her problem and give her assistance on where to go for possible solutions, but I would NOT get involved beyond that. That's not being callous. It's being smart. You have no allegiance to her for any reason, and you didn't do anything to cause her the problem, so you have no reason to get into the middle of it.

What if her family and EX happen to think you're a meddling takeover type of guy, and you are teaching her to shoot them? They could very easily attack you and cause you a lot of harm. This isn't the time or situation to start playing Cowboy, and rescue the damsel in distress. YOUR damsel is the one you need to protect! Let the other one take care of herself, or find someone else to take care of her. That's what bodyguards do. She can hire one if necessary.

p.s.: You can tell your wife that a simple "thank you" from her is payment enough for me. LOL!!
Click to expand...

In this case I agree that he can probably help her more than enough from a safe distance, but I have to disagree with the overall use of the philosophy you put forth. Due to some personal experiances I have a hard time even believing a "damsel in distress" or any one for that matter, but dispite an almost sickening lack of trust that I've developed, the whole idea of walking away from anyone who is in need of help even if somewhat inconvienent is just something I can't imagine being something I could or most people should do.
 
LethalMouse said:
In this case I agree that he can probably help her more than enough from a safe distance, but I have to disagree with the overall use of the philosophy you put forth. Due to some personal experiances I have a hard time even believing a "damsel in distress" or any one for that matter, but dispite an almost sickening lack of trust that I've developed, the whole idea of walking away from anyone who is in need of help even if somewhat inconvienent is just something I can't imagine being something I could or most people should do.
Click to expand...

Well, normally I don't walk away from those in need either. And the Business Principle I learned is mainly for business, not friendships. A lot of folks in business want you to solve their problems for them..thus the principle.

However, in this case, and most cases of separation/divorce, it's best not to get too involved. The reason in this case: he only knows ONE side of the story. In separations, there is ALWAYS two sides of the story. I didn't say to be cold to the woman. You can still lend a friendly ear when she wants to talk. But I wouldn't EVER get involved personally in a separation/divorce case. They just get too sticky for my tastes.

And I also have this stance about co-workers. You are a co-worker of mine. I had no choice in picking you. We are put together for 8+ hours a day because of employment, that's all. Don't assume any thing more of our relationship. I will choose my friends myself, not an employer. Just because I work with you doesn't make you a bosom buddy of mine. I just don't like to get real chummy with workers. You have to maintain a professional relationship, and getting real friendly works against that in some cases.

Besides, counseling is better done by a professional, like a member of the clergy. Have her go to her Pastor.
 
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I agree that a male counseling a female coworker in most cases is not a good idea. However I do think we are getting away from the original thought of the thread that festus posed. Should he agree to teach her to shoot, to defend herself. That is the question. Again I might be willing to do that but I would not only clear it with my wife first but I would require that she be with me for any sessions. No private one on one with a female coworker. That way no accusations of any improprieties could ever be raised by any third party or the coworkers.
 
GOV5 said:
I am reminded of a BUSINESS PRINCIPLE about someone asking for help with a problem.

" I will be glad to give you my advice on solving your problem, as long as you remember it's YOUR problem. If at any time, you try to hand me your problem and entangle me with it, my help will stop at once."

She has a domestic problem, and some angry baggage that goes with it. I would listen to her problem and give her assistance on where to go for possible solutions, but I would NOT get involved beyond that. That's not being callous. It's being smart. You have no allegiance to her for any reason, and you didn't do anything to cause her the problem, so you have no reason to get into the middle of it.

What if her family and EX happen to think you're a meddling takeover type of guy, and you are teaching her to shoot them? They could very easily attack you and cause you a lot of harm. This isn't the time or situation to start playing Cowboy, and rescue the damsel in distress. YOUR damsel is the one you need to protect! Let the other one take care of herself, or find someone else to take care of her. That's what bodyguards do. She can hire one if necessary.

p.s.: You can tell your wife that a simple "thank you" from her is payment enough for me. LOL!!
Click to expand...

Yes, I have to go with Gov5 on this one.
 
i PASSED ALONG THE SHOOTING INFORMATION...

handgonnetoter said:
Yes, I have to go with Gov5 on this one.
Click to expand...

i passed along the shooting instructor info that Wolfhunter suggested. It will do the trick and allow me to be a nice guy with out getting mixed up in somebody elses business. The last thing I ever want to do is jeopardize my marriage of 21 plus years. I have a great wife who puts up with alot. Look who she is married to!
 
Festus,
I salute you! You had some difficult decisions to make, to ensure that a coworker was taken care of yet make sure that all stayed above board, both in relality and in perception. It sounds like you did a great job.:yu:
Fondis
 
festus said:
i passed along the shooting instructor info that Wolfhunter suggested. It will do the trick and allow me to be a nice guy with out getting mixed up in somebody elses business. The last thing I ever want to do is jeopardize my marriage of 21 plus years. I have a great wife who puts up with alot. Look who she is married to!
Click to expand...

FESTUS, you ain't as dumb as you look! LOL!!!

Hey, good going man!! You're a smart guy.
 
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