I'm a revolver guy from way back and in my opinion, you cannot beat the reliability of a revolver, but they are a lot harder to conceal. You also have to become proficient with strips or speedloaders . I'm kind of small, 5'8" , 170# and have tryed carrying a S&W 686, but can only really conceal it when it's winter. I picked up a 3" MODEL 60 in .357 with a IWB and it hides real well. Get a Smith or maybe a Ruger SP101 if you want to carry a revolver, my 60 really likes 145 gr Silvertips. If you do decide on a wheelgun, get a magnum, its a great round and I think they are fun to shoot, just alittle more recoil with the smaller framed gun. My wife also likes it but prefers .38's, so her load is 125 gr +p's.
I also carry a Taurus PT111 and am looking at getting an XD or the M&P. Don't know if it'll be a 9mm or a .40.
Chuck