Conversation with my Ex-wife about guns

[gun papa]

We have been divorced for over 2 years now. Two days ago she called me asking about what gun she should get to protect her and her family. I told her none. She felt this was a knock against her.

I explained- I have been in constant training for decades with my guns. I take firearms ownership very seriously. My gun is in the forefront of my mind always. I take owning a weapon extremely seriously because the carrying of a gun is an awesome responsibility.

My ex-wife loses ATM cards, phones, and is generally irresponsible. I told her that a gun is not a lipstick or phone. A gun is not something that lays in your purse like a pack of gum. Unless she is really serious about the ownership of such a deadly device, I felt that she would be more of a liability to my kids.

I also do not think that she has the mindset to think through the possibility of really having to use the gun, thus having it taken from her. I told her to find another means of defense like OC or a taser/stun device.

I have known this woman for 15 years and the thought of her owning a gun scares me. Does this make me a hypocrite?

 

[festus]

You know her best!

We have been divorced for over 2 years now. Two days ago she called me asking about what gun she should get to protect her and her family. I told her none. She felt this was a knock against her.

I explained- I have been in constant training for decades with my guns. I take firearms ownership very seriously. My gun is in the forefront of my mind always. I take owning a weapon extremely seriously because the carrying of a gun is an awesome responsibility.

My ex-wife loses ATM cards, phones, and is generally irresponsible. I told her that a gun is not a lipstick or phone. A gun is not something that lays in your purse like a pack of gum. Unless she is really serious about the ownership of such a deadly device, I felt that she would be more of a liability to my kids.

I also do not think that she has the mindset to think through the possibility of really having to use the gun, thus having it taken from her. I told her to find another means of defense like OC or a taser/stun device.

I have known this woman for 15 years and the thought of her owning a gun scares me. Does this make me a hypocrite?

Keep ypur kids safe.

 

[Hamilton Felix]

While I generally believe it is the right and duty of all free men and women to be "at all times armed," I'd say a person who loses things all the time or is likely to pull a gun and not use it, should avoid firearms and perhaps other lethal weapons.

 

[Ringo]

Absolutely not. Nothing in this world scares me more than my EX-WIFE owning a gun. :no: :biggrin:

 

[surfcc]

Youch....good response.

 

[AvidshooterTX]

I would assume that you know your ex better than anyone - with the exception of maybe her parents or current partner. She obviously still values your opinion and you gave it. Did you take her choice away from her? No. You would only be a hypocrite if you had the power by force of law to take the choice from her. So stop feeling guilty.

 

[Red Hat]

Some people don't need to be around firearms...period! In the Air Force I had to train people in that category. The worst was the time I had to train a bunch of reserve doctors for Gulf Storm on the M-9. Half I pulled off the line and set them back to their Squadron. You did the correct thing!

 

[6shootercarry]

We have been divorced for over 2 years now. Two days ago she called me asking about what gun she should get to protect her and her family. I told her none. She felt this was a knock against her.

I explained- I have been in constant training for decades with my guns. I take firearms ownership very seriously. My gun is in the forefront of my mind always. I take owning a weapon extremely seriously because the carrying of a gun is an awesome responsibility.

My ex-wife loses ATM cards, phones, and is generally irresponsible. I told her that a gun is not a lipstick or phone. A gun is not something that lays in your purse like a pack of gum. Unless she is really serious about the ownership of such a deadly device, I felt that she would be more of a liability to my kids.

I also do not think that she has the mindset to think through the possibility of really having to use the gun, thus having it taken from her. I told her to find another means of defense like OC or a taser/stun device.

I have known this woman for 15 years and the thought of her owning a gun scares me. Does this make me a hypocrite?

The title ex-wife is enough of an indicator.

A good pepper spray sounds like the best bet...

 

[Unfettered Might]

I told her to find another means of defense like OC or a taser/stun device.

OC?

 

[SteveB]

OC?

Probably pepper spray

 

[6shootercarry]

Pepper spray, also known as OC spray (from "Oleoresin Capsicum"), OC gas, and capsicum spray, is a lachrymatory agent (a chemical compound that irritates ...

Pepper spray - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[hollie1]

If shes that bad at losing or miss placing things then the gun is something she shouldn't have. Has to the pepper spray I'd be worried the kids might also find it. That could be harmful also! Has to the gun issue I don't blame you at all! Your response was correct female or not! Your #1 worry and frist concern should be your kids safty!

 

[6shootercarry]

If shes that bad at losing or miss placing things then the gun is something she shouldn't have. Has to the pepper spray I'd be worried the kids might also find it. That could be harmful also! Has to the gun issue I don't blame you at all! Your response was correct female or not! Your #1 worry and frist concern should be your kids safty!

I'd rather the kids find pepper spray instead of a misplaced, forgotten, or unsecured loaded gun!!!:fie:

Peace...

 

[Booga]

An honest opinion with a reason behind it is not hypocrisy.
Having something that you never intend to use could be a liability. You recognize that and relayed that observation to the ex. That is the responsible answer. Sure, you'll catch some flak back for it, but don't sweat it.

 

[SpaceFrank]

I also do not think that she has the mindset to think through the possibility of really having to use the gun, thus having it taken from her.

Oh, I've definitely run into this before. I work at a sporting goods chain that is also an FFL. I can't remember the number of times I've seen people looking at guns with their friend/spouse/whatever, and one will say to the other something to the effect of "Oh, I would never use the gun, but I want to have it just in case." There's also the oft-repeated assertion that racking a shotgun slide is all you ever have to do to protect your home from an intruder.

IMHO, if you are not mentally prepared to use deadly force on another human being, given the appropriate circumstances, you should not carry a gun. It may sound cold, but having a gun that you promise yourself to never use is worse than having nothing. I've heard stories about women being threatened with robbery or rape only to pull out a gun, not have the guts to use it, and then face even worse reprisal from the criminal, up to and including murder. Carrying a gun is a huge responsibility, even discounting the legal one.

 

[gun papa]

To bring yet another aspect, I left her due to drugs, alcohol, lies, violence, etc. Afterward she attempted suicide with pills. She had with her friends, created a story and had me arrested for Domestic Violence. She did this to control me as I am an LEO firearms instructor. Her thinking was if I was going to leave I would have to give up my entire life in the process. The sheriff took all of my guns.

This is the Cliff Notes version. My life was HELL. In the end, I got my guns back, the house, my job, and am living as normal. The court has us share the kids.
She is sober now and seeing what wake she left in her life. She hates the woman that I see.

A gun would concern me on many levels. Scary huh?

 

[AvidshooterTX]

Like a country song played backwards - got your guns back, got your job back... - everything 'cept the wife.

 

[Rocketgeezer]

To some this may seem a little underhanded, but with your kids involved, I would take this a step or two further, in your position as a instructor, you have certain contacts, if she trys to get a permit, going by what you said about the suicide, there has to be someone you know of that can legaly prevent it, same go's to her trying to legaly buy a gun, and as far asthe sheriff takeing your guns, that was to cover his own butt, he should have known your a good guy cause you didn't take more lethal action when she pulled that shit on you

 

[CapGun]

KIMBER is the only way to go in this situation! Pepper spray that is!!!!!
The whole scenario you present sure scares me. At least she hasn't misplaced any of the kids. Or has she?

 

[6shootercarry]

To bring yet another aspect, I left her due to drugs, alcohol, lies, violence, etc. Afterward she attempted suicide with pills. She had with her friends, created a story and had me arrested for Domestic Violence. She did this to control me as I am an LEO firearms instructor. Her thinking was if I was going to leave I would have to give up my entire life in the process. The sheriff took all of my guns.

This is the Cliff Notes version. My life was HELL. In the end, I got my guns back, the house, my job, and am living as normal. The court has us share the kids.
She is sober now and seeing what wake she left in her life. She hates the woman that I see.

A gun would concern me on many levels. Scary huh?

I have been assisting my sister-in-law with the same kinda thing. Her husband has become a real piece of Sh!t..
She has been granted a restraining order. He emptied the bank accounts etc... He had a shotgun (illegally) and had been denied a LTC here for a past assault issue. He was pissed at my wife and made some threats, which even as dumb as he is, I still take serious. Drinking and using all kinds of pills...

So I get the issue here. Trust (the lack there of)...

"Try some pepper spray" would be the best advice for her.

Peace...