Concealed Carry discussion with Kids

C

cam9910

New member
Hi. I’m very glad, and fortunate to have taken the steps to be a responsible & citizen and have recently obtained my CCW permit. I am a extremely safe, responsible and curious person by nature, so I’m also curious about how some of you choose to deal with this topic. I have two kids (both under 10, and yes, I keep my guns secured and locked when not on my person) and since I just started carrying concealed, I haven't addressed this with them at all. I’d prefer to have them not know at all that I carry, but I’m waiting for the moment that they notice it or feel it when I give them a hug or something.

I have to imagine this issue has crossed some of your minds....so how did you address it? Thank you.
 
Ditto!

I'm in the same boat as Cam9910. I've been CCing for over 10 years but I do have a 2 1/2 and 1 year old. Do you treat it like weapons and teach/educate them while they're young or is it something you try and keep quiet until they're old enough to know not to tell everyone they meet that their dad carries a gun. My initial reaction would be the latter. I can hear it now, in the middle of the grocery store "Daddy, show them your gun you have!" or something along those lines. Or telling their friends at school. I don't know. I haven't had to worry or think much about it at all so I'm really interested in reading what others have to say.
 
I CC and my kids know it. They know that it is there for my/there protection and that it is our right as US citizens to carry. They also know when it would be appropriate to pull the weapon out, either if I need to use it to protect us or we are at the shooting range. Not only do my kids know that I carry, they know that I know how to use it as well. I have been working with them on them learning to shoot and how to be responsible with firearms. Of course I started them on a bb gun, but have moved them to a 22 rifle. When we goto the range it is a family event as we are all involved. This past Christmas I got them a 22 revolver as they had become very proficient with the rifle. This is not a decision that I regret in the least, they know how to safely load and unload the rifle and revolver. They also know what they both are capable of doing and understand that. They also know to treat every gun as if it is loaded, we do get alot of looks when we goto the range and you have kids that inspect a weapon before handling it, also when adults see kids handing weapons to each other in the proper way. What is really funny is when the 12 year old girl will lay all of her shots in the bull, some of the adult males get intimidated by that and she thinks it is funny. Fact is your kids do need to know and respect firearms, mine know there is a safe time to handle them and a safe way. I would much rather have that than to have a kid freak out when they do happen to see your weapon.
 
I cc fairly regularly and I have 2 sons, 4 years old and 3 months. My 4 year old knows that there are guns in the house but does not really know that I carry. I have reason to believe that my 3 month old is completely unaware of both guns in the house and my carry status. I prefer that below a certain age 4 or 5 children remain ignorant of the fact that "daddy has a gun". This prevents them from committing "kids say the darndest things" moments.

I have been working with my 4 year old teaching him the 4 rules and to "stop, don't touch, find an adult" with respect to finding guns. I figure it is about time for him to attend an Eddie eagle class to learn those things from a professional.

As to them finding out from a hug, or some other contact. I carry at 4:00 in waistband. Whenever I am hugged by anyone I instinctively turn that portion of my body away from them to avoid detection. I do the same thing with my kids. I definately refrain from wresling or massive tickle sessions while I am armed. You never know when one of those tickle sessions could go bad...
 
I have told my girls that I carry. They're 8 and 11. I've, also, gone over the Eddie Eagle rules with them from the NRA. They know that any gun should never be touched by them unless we're right there with them and instructing them at a range. The youngest has no interest at this point, but knows the rules.
It's also important to talk with them about what would happen if you had someone come into your house. Where is their safe room (ours is in our oldest child's room)? They, also, need to know how to move behind you or run if you instruct them to if you had something happen out in public (and we hope that never happens). You have to do this a bit at a time and in a fun way so you don't scare them! It's like practicing a fire-drill at school.
They both know that we don't broadcast any information about this.
I think your kids aren't really old enough to understand that you carry until they're around 7 (it totally depends on your child, though).
I was taught as a child about gun safety, and my siblings and I were always extremely responsible.
 
My kids and grandkids

My kids learned about guns at early ages, My son and I shot 22's when he was 10. All safety rules were stressed and I realised they took hold when I heard my 15 yr old son(at the time) yell at his older cousin about muzzle position, not knowing I was there!
Now I have 6 grandkids,from 2 mo to 14 yrs old. The two oldest have been exposed to guns and safety from 22's to 45's to black powders! They all know I carry, but because no big deal is made of it, it is just Grandpa's thing. Educate and don't have "forbidden" things, only GOOD safety rules and it will never be a problem.
 
Lots of good thoughts and comments! I agree with the general trend I've put together; before a certain age it's not good for them to know; as one put it to avoid "kids say the darndest things" moments. After that, it should be everything but forbidden and education is the key. Forbidden things draw curiousity and make them more prone to WANT to find it when you're not around. If they know you have it and you let them be a part of it that resolves the curiousity issues.

I have 3 kids, a 10 year old daughter and two boys ages 9 and 7. I bought the 9 year old a soft-air replica of a Walther P22 for Christmas. I also have a non-replica, much larger soft-air pistol and we have a trap for that in our basement. Right now my boys are having fun spending their free time competing with each other punching paper with both soft air guns. I let them watch while I clean my 9mm after practicing with it and answer questions. I try to make sure that they get to be around my guns even though I don't think they're ready to learn to shoot them yet. I want them to know that guns are dangerous but not completely forbidden to them. There will be a time when they will be allowed to shoot any gun I do after they're old enough and have been properly trained.

Just yesterday my daughter was supposed to be doing laundary in our basement and my wife caught her shooting my soft-air pistol. She acted sheepish like she'd been caught doing something wrong or possibly something less than feminine. I responded when told this by going up to her room and telling her that there's nothing wrong with wanting to learn about shooting. I pulled out my 9mm (that she knows I carry), showed her how to unload it, showed her the safety, (making sure I was pointing it in a safe direction), locked the slide back and handed it to her. Wasn't so much a safety lesson (although I did discuss safety rules) as a "there's nothing wrong with being interested in this" encounter. I put it away before too long and we had a nice discussion.

I do stress to all 3 kids that the gun is MY tool; if I'm carrying it they are not to think about it, talk with other's about it or suggest I get it out if we happen to run into a situation that THEY think I need it for. I think introducing my kids to guns and the fact that I carry them has been a very positive experience. It does have to be handled properly. All my kids do need more education and I will be certain they receive it.
 
Concealed carry to kids

My kids are 5,12, and 16
My 5 yr old can tell you the basic safety rules and shoots .22 pistols ( and hit the target). She understands that most people carry to protect their kids. (family) My 2 sons have sit thru a cc class. ( I teach) .It all begins with education and NOT making a big deal of it. Keeping everything locked is still important.
 
My kids are older than the others mentioned here. However, I am a firm believer in EDUCATION. Yep, I teach -- but even before I did, I felt it were important to teach my kids the basic safety rules, that the gun is always loaded, and took the time to show them each one so it "kills the curiosity". I lock them up when I am not around, but they know that I carry whenever its legal and understand WHY. Heck, my wife carries now too.... shooting is a family sport for us.
 
It's a serious subject and there can be a lot of different answers. My only advice is to read a lot, talk to a lot of people, and think a lot before you decide how to approach it. You'll get one shot to get it right.

My daughters were 9 and 12 when they attended their first NRA safety classes. The 9 yo took to it like bread to butter, but the 12 yo did not because every kid is different. The curious ones need to be nurtured, the squeamish ones need to be assured.

The most desirable results are that my kids are both skilled in the mindset that guns are safe in the right hands, if we know and follow ALL the rules at ALL times... and if we have good and safe storage and locking systems. Here in CT that's a requirement.

Good Luck
 
cam9910 said:
Hi. I’m very glad, and fortunate to have taken the steps to be a responsible & citizen and have recently obtained my CCW permit. I am a extremely safe, responsible and curious person by nature, so I’m also curious about how some of you choose to deal with this topic. I have two kids (both under 10, and yes, I keep my guns secured and locked when not on my person) and since I just started carrying concealed, I haven't addressed this with them at all. I’d prefer to have them not know at all that I carry, but I’m waiting for the moment that they notice it or feel it when I give them a hug or something.

I have to imagine this issue has crossed some of your minds....so how did you address it? Thank you.
Click to expand...

I don't have any kids but my parents did :biggrin:

My 3 siblings and I were instructed on firearm safety at a very early age (5 yrs for me). While speaking to my mother a few weeks ago she mentioned how nervous she was when my father began teaching us about guns but looking back she's very glad he did.

Instruct your kids now.
 
My kids are 13 and 16 and they both shoot. They know where my gun is on my person in case I become incapacitated and I can't defend them, they can defend themselves. No apologies here.
 
I watched my nieces, who are now 14 and 12, daily from the time they were babies to when they started school. I've had my CCW for 20 years as of August of this year and I never really gave it much thought about the issue other than using common sense.

If the gun wasn't on my person, it was stored high enough that a curious child couldn't get to it and completely out of sight. I never put it away while they were in the room where it was stored so they didn't know where it was being kept. That way, even if they knew it existed (and I went out of the way to insure they didn't while they were that young), they didn't know where it was and, therefore, couldn't be tempted to climb up there and try to fool with it.

As they have grown older, I am less concerned about them seeing the gun and where it is kept because they have been taught to leave them alone and they understand that failing to do so will result in them being punished to a level that they have never seen before. Fortunately for all of us (both them and the adults in the family), they are mature enough that they understand that there are things that they aren't ready to do by themselves and firearms are one of them.

All the adults in the family (their parents, grandparent, and myself) have CCW's and use them regularly, so someone carrying concealed isn't a huge deal to them. Their natural curiosity about firearms is sated by us answering their questions and allowing them to handle and fire firearms under our direct supervision. Basically, we took all the mystery out of guns by letting them handle them under safe circumstances.
 
My girls are 12 and 8. I talked to both of them separately several years ago about gun safety. I let them handle the unloaded gun. I've taken the older one to the range a couple of times and she shot all of my pistols, 9mm, 38spcl, .25 and a .22...as well as the .22 rifle. Just haven't had the chance to take the younger one yet.

One night the Mrs asks me to speak again to the youngest, just to make sure she understood. I walked into her room and without removing the gun from the holster I removed the magazine. She saw me do this and says..."you know, there is another one in there."

Was one proud Papa that day. :biggrin:


I wear the gun OC everyday, even around the house...so they are so used to it that they don't even think twice about it. No different then seeing a cell phone on my belt.
 
Our "kids" don't mind ... they all have fur and no thumbs and bark sometimes. :pleasantry:
Quite a bonus when it comes to firearms safety since they can never pick one up and do mischief. Rosie would if she could, she just does not like cats. :fie:

Our stepdaughter knows I carry and would actually like to go to the range. My neighbors kids don't know and since they are not mine and I carry concealed I keep it that way. I do not think it would be my place to educate their kids.
 
Knowing me as a kid, If I knew my dad had a gun, I would be on that thing in a second. My dad use to have a pellot pistol. My brother and I use to sneak it out when my parents were home and "target practice". shooting in unsafe directions never even crossed my mind. I would not trust myself back then to be able to safely handle a firearm. That being said I was very young and very dumb and was never instructed on how to handle and use a firearm. Luckily nothing bad ever happened. I do not have kids, but If I were to have them, I see the importance of early training. A untrained person should NEVER have access to a gun.
 
Nathan_G said:
I CC and my kids know it. They know that it is there for my/there protection and that it is our right as US citizens to carry. They also know when it would be appropriate to pull the weapon out, either if I need to use it to protect us or we are at the shooting range. Not only do my kids know that I carry, they know that I know how to use it as well. I have been working with them on them learning to shoot and how to be responsible with firearms. Of course I started them on a bb gun, but have moved them to a 22 rifle. When we goto the range it is a family event as we are all involved. This past Christmas I got them a 22 revolver as they had become very proficient with the rifle. This is not a decision that I regret in the least, they know how to safely load and unload the rifle and revolver. They also know what they both are capable of doing and understand that. They also know to treat every gun as if it is loaded, we do get alot of looks when we goto the range and you have kids that inspect a weapon before handling it, also when adults see kids handing weapons to each other in the proper way. What is really funny is when the 12 year old girl will lay all of her shots in the bull, some of the adult males get intimidated by that and she thinks it is funny. Fact is your kids do need to know and respect firearms, mine know there is a safe time to handle them and a safe way. I would much rather have that than to have a kid freak out when they do happen to see your weapon.
Click to expand...

I agree with your analogy 100%. I too have a 12 year old daughter that started out with airsoft, progressed to BB and now to a .22LR semiauto I've had since the age of 18. I was a proud poppa the day we were at the range and she asked to shoot my .45. She did great! My younger two know I carry and more importantly...Why. My wife is awaiting her permit (expected in May) and will begin carrying. We openly discuss local laws and scenarios around and with our kids. The 12 year old is ALWAYS intrigued by "What if's". Safety is key!
 
My kids were all raised in a gun rich environment and all learned the rules of gun use. The Grandkids are reaching the age (7,6,3) of noticing the difference between play and real guns and are getting the same education about guns. They know their Dads and I all carry concealed and don't seem to give it any thought. We went to visit last weekend and had to leave my vehicle in a public area so I didn't stash my pistol as I usually do. It was warm in the house so I took off my jacket and left the pistol holstered rather than put it on top of the fridge. The kids didn't comment or stare and went about their playing as usual. They understand it's a tool that I carry along with a knife or pliers. In our world a gun is just another tool with specific uses and safety considerations same as a power saw or hammer.
 
I have three boys. 5,10 and 13 yrs old. Boys tend to be more curious about guns I think and are more apt to speak about it at an unappropriate time or satisfy their curiosity by "exploring" guns on their own. I get my kids involved when I clean my guns and we talk about things like safety and the power of any firearm. We also talk about why Papa carries a gun. We actaully do little drills with key words that give them a signal to "hit the ground." They love that drill. Set bounderies with firearms and drill in them the possible consequences of crossing those bounderies.
One of the bounderies not to cross is NOT talking about Papas guns in public. Only in the car or at home. This is more difficult for the five year old. To reward him for his good behavior I teach him gun safety. He loves it and even roll plays with his toy guns. He knows that you treat ALL guns like they are loaded, but just yesterday I asked him "where should we ALWAYS point the weapon until ready to shoot" His answer: "only at the bad guys" I guess I still have work to do. :) Every child is different and they think different. Take that into consideration.
 
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