Chuck Norris Quotes

[Sir Diealotz]

In order to NOT hi-jack another thread...

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you.

If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from Death!

 

[gunnerbob]

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris can unscamble an egg.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he goes killing... hunting implies the possibility of failure.

 

[Treo]

When Chuck Norris cuts an onion the onion cries

 

[HoJo]

Click me
Let me google that for you

 

[Sir Diealotz]

Click me
Let me google that for you

^ Win!

Haboobafoo

 

[HoJo]

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

 

[Sir Diealotz]

Chuck Norris gargles peanut butter

 

[Kalamity023]

Chuck Noris has no chin, there is only another fist beneath the beard.

 

[The_Outlaw]

Whenever Chuck Norris visits Pamplona, Spain...The Bulls Run From Him!

 

[HoJo]

Once a cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.

 

[Kalamity023]

Chick Norris does not do push ups. When he exercises it's the earth that he is pushing down.

 

[HoJo]

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the ***** out of it.

 

[BigSlick]

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the ***** out of it.

LOL!!!! Never heard that one before.

 

[mellophonium]

When Chuck Norris goes to bed, he checks his closet for Clint Eastwood.

 

[wolf_fire]

Chuck Norris has nullified Newton's Third Law of motion.... there is NO force equal and opposite to a Chuck Norris round house kick!!

 

[kerb]

When Chuck Norris goes to bed, he checks his closet for Clint Eastwood.

When monsters go to bed, they check the closet for Chuck Norris.

Sent from my Xoom using Tapatalk 2

 

[HoJo]

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

 

[Sir Diealotz]

When Chuck Norris goes to bed, he checks his closet for Clint Eastwood.

When monsters go to bed, they check the closet for Chuck Norris.

Sent from my Xoom using Tapatalk 2

I was about to say the boogie man LOL

You beat me to it...

 

[Kalamity023]

Chuck Norris can win a game of connect 4 using only 3 moves!

 

[Kalamity023]

The definition of an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object is Chuck Norris clapping!