CHUCK NORRIS...is such a bad @$$...

[festus]

Chuck Norris does his own taxes and the IRS WILL NOT audit them!!!

Chuck Norris counted to infinity...twice!

Chuck Norris is the only guy who can beat Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris!

 

[Cooter]

Oh crap...I knew someone was gonna start with the Chuck Norris jokes. Here we go.

 

[Cooter]

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's not pushing himself up, he's actually pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris doesn't "style" his hair. It lies perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

Outer space exists because it's too afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.

 

[Jay9928]

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[srshadwi]

Power of the Universe in the palm of his hand

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

 

[Fire44]

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray on is steaks.

 

[Cooter]

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

Doesn't any number divided by zero equal one? I seem to remember something like that from high school.

 

[festus]

Chuck Norris...

Chuck Norris...sleeps with his boots on. That way when his feet hit the floor in the morning...Satan cries out "OH CRAP...HE"S AWAKE!!!"

 

[FN1910]

Doesn't any number divided by zero equal one? I seem to remember something like that from high school.

Any number except zero divided by zero is either infinity or indeterminate according to what you are doing. zero divided by zero is defined as one. All that is dependent on you not being Chuck Norris.

 

[HK4U]

Chuck Norris for President.

 

[Scarecrow]

we don't live in a democracy.. we live in a chucktatorship.

 

[acheney46]

I thought I let you guys know that Chuck Norris Brother was kill in Vietnam .He was a Infantryman with the 101 ABN DIV...He was kill in 1971 or 1972 ,,I can not remember,,,Chuck Norris and his family are just American like the rest of us,,,But there family had to pay a price that not all family's had to ,for the freedom of all Americans,,,,

 

[wolfhunter]

Chuck Norris for President.

Can he start tomorrow?

 

[Cooter]

Remember several months ago, Chuck Norris said he wishes he could walk through a congressional meeting, and have Ron Paul point out all the corrupt politicians so he could choke them out.

Chuck Norris is not just a bad @$$ in the movies, he really is in real life.

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[benjammin]

This Family Guy clip is pretty good:

Family Guy: Chuck Norris - Snotr

 

[Cooter]

Here, I embeded it for you:


YouTube - Chuck Norris on Family Guy

 

[Scarecrow]

Remember several months ago, Chuck Norris said he wishes he could walk through a congressional meeting, and have Ron Paul point out all the corrupt politicians so he could choke them out.

Chuck Norris is not just a bad @$$ in the movies, he really is in real life.

Link Removed

he also said he has lots of guns... and they are not for hunting.. gotta respect that guy. he sees what's going on and he is not afraid to let idiots know what he thinks. I'd love to see him choke some of them out.

 

[abock33]

When the bogey man goes to sleep at night he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

 

[Mr. Vegas]

chuck norris once killed a man in reno just to watch him die

 

[wolfhunter]

chuck norris once killed a man in reno just to watch him die

That was Johnny Cash. Chuck is MUCH tougher.