American Humor


Oldgrunt

Active member
Another good email.


It is time to change from Redneck humor to True American Humor!!

Only it isn't seen as HUMOR, but the correct way to LIVE YOUR LIFE!!

If you feel the same, pass this on to your True American friends.

Y'all know who they are...







You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if:

It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under GOD.'

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if:

You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if:

You still say 'Christmas' instead of 'Winter Festival.'

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if:

You bow your head when someone prays.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if:

You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if:

You treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if:

You've never burned an American flag.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if:

You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if:

You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.


If you got this email from me, it is because I believe that you, like me, have just enough TRUE AMERICAN in you to have the same beliefs as those talked about in this email.

GOD Bless the U S A ! Amen


AND YOU ARE A TRUE AMERICAN, IF YOU THINK THE NATIONAL ANTHEM SHOULD ONLY BE SUNG:


IN ENGLISH!!
 

Wouldn't a "True American" speak Cherokee, Inuit, Navajo, Apache, or similar?

Wouldn't a "True American" either worship animals, "the forces of nature", or their ancestors?

Why is it that what you changed from "redneck" always seem to assume that descended-from-British are the only valid Americans?

In many parts of the country, German was the primary language until World War 2.

I don't say you're not a "true American" because you don't believe what I believe. I thought that the point of America was FREEDOM of beliefs. If you life here, regardless of your beliefs, if you consider yourself a "True American", you are.


Edit: I do agree the national anthem should be sung in English, though. Since it was written in English. I've never heard of anyone trying to insist people sing it in any other language...
 
"Wouldn't a "True American" speak Cherokee, Inuit, Navajo, Apache, or similar?"
Actually, no, there was 2 huge tribes that inhabited what we call the "USA" now. None of the languages where developed until later on. The two tribes came over from some part of Asia and were imigrants themselves.

"Wouldn't a "True American" either worship animals, "the forces of nature", or their ancestors?"
"America" the country was founded on Christian morals, Laws, and Beliefs. Anything before that was Native, not "American"

"Why is it that what you changed from "redneck" always seem to assume that descended-from-British are the only valid Americans?"
We never said that. We are simply stating the fact that "Anglo-American" customs where what originally formed the country along with some imput from the French and Spanish.

"In many parts of the country, German was the primary language until World War 2."
You are right here. It was a close second to english to become our national language. However, the turkey was also considered as one of the choices to be the national bird... Now that would have struck fear into the hearts of millions....

As Americans we are supposed to be tolerant, and to an extent we are. On the other hand, when you mess with the foundation of what our forefathers set forth, well, thats UN-American.
 

Oldgrunt

Active member
Wouldn't a "True American" speak Cherokee, Inuit, Navajo, Apache, or similar?

Wouldn't a "True American" either worship animals, "the forces of nature", or their ancestors?

Why is it that what you changed from "redneck" always seem to assume that descended-from-British are the only valid Americans?

In many parts of the country, German was the primary language until World War 2.

I don't say you're not a "true American" because you don't believe what I believe. I thought that the point of America was FREEDOM of beliefs. If you life here, regardless of your beliefs, if you consider yourself a "True American", you are.


Edit: I do agree the national anthem should be sung in English, though. Since it was written in English. I've never heard of anyone trying to insist people sing it in any other language...

Gee Ed, you seem to have your panties in a wad. You seem to take offense at the term "American". First, let me ask you, are you an American? I am and damn proud of it. In answer to your questions, no, a true American would not necessarily speak the languages you mention, however, they could, depending on their ancestory and where and how they were raised. An American would not necessarily worship as you mention. We have freedom to worship as we please. As for your beliefs, I fully endorse them for you. I don't ask you to embrace mine nor will I embrace yours. If you want to worship a log, a wolf or a bonfire have at it. Obviously, you are not familiar with the term "redneck" as used in the South or on the whole east coast for that matter. It has nothing to do with British ancestry. I am an American. Not of any hyphenated system which seems to be so popular today. I was born here and am an American. From your reaction to this post, it would seem you have an axe to grind but that is your problem. Paul, in the post following yours seemed to understand the gist of the original post and gave a better response than mine but I just couldn't let it go without some response. You have a good day now and I hope you get over your little snit soon.
 

cmhbob

Sig fault.
What does bowing your head during prayer have to do with one's patriotism or nationality?

This land was discovered and settled by people intent on finding religious freedom, and not being required to pray on a particular way. Does my raising my hands during prayer bother you? That's how I pray sometimes, even if other people have their heads bowed. There's no wrong way to pray, and respecting that is what being a True American is about.
 

Ed Hamberger

New member
Old Grunt thank you for your thread, and I did get a chuckle or two from it. Apparently a lot of people on this forum even have to analyze humor in order to get it. I know what you were trying to accomplish; I just hope Jeff Foxworthy does too!!!:laugh:
 

BeauRyker

New member
What does bowing your head during prayer have to do with one's patriotism or nationality?

This land was discovered and settled by people intent on finding religious freedom, and not being required to pray on a particular way. Does my raising my hands during prayer bother you? That's how I pray sometimes, even if other people have their heads bowed. There's no wrong way to pray, and respecting that is what being a True American is about.

Bob, Maybe you're taking that e-mail too literally. Of course there's no wrong way to pray. That should go without saying. A person doesn't even have to pray to be a good American. I personally know many who rarely, if ever, pray.....and some who choose not to believe at all. They include some of the best people and citizens of this country that I have known. It's a personal thing, and to each his own.

I'm pretty sure that is what freedom and liberty is all about. But, I could be wrong. These days it's kinda hard to tell what's what.
 

Oldgrunt

Active member
What does bowing your head during prayer have to do with one's patriotism or nationality?

This land was discovered and settled by people intent on finding religious freedom, and not being required to pray on a particular way. Does my raising my hands during prayer bother you? That's how I pray sometimes, even if other people have their heads bowed. There's no wrong way to pray, and respecting that is what being a True American is about.

Bob, you need to lighten up and get a sense of humor. I don't know why you are so sensitive to prayer. I'm not. Apparently you haven't noticed that it is a generally accepted act in our society to bow one's head during prayer. It is not mandatory but is generally a respect given to our God. If you don't care to, then by all means, don't. I was taught to do so at a very young age and continue to do so many years later. It is not necessarily an American thing to do and does not indicate patriotism but most people do so out of respect and humbling themselves before their God. Old son, you need a course in Humor 101!
 

cmhbob

Sig fault.
I'm just pointing out that respect for religious actions has nothing to do with patriotism or nationalism. The country was founded on the ideals of freedom and respect, and those are not exclusive to any particular religion or denomination.

You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if:
It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under GOD.'
I think this needs to be re-written:
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if:
It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under GOD,' but you respect those who might be.

And I've burned a bunch of American flags, but at a retirement ceremony, not a protest. OTOH, I did serve in the Army protecting the rights of those who wish to burn a flag in protest. I think that makes me a True American; I respect and defend the beliefs of those who believe differently from me.
 

Oldgrunt

Active member
Bob: I am not offended by the phrase "one nation under God." No, actually, I do not respect those who do not respect that. For far too long a rabid few have tried to dictate to the majority what we can or can not do or say. If you don't like it, get over it. We started out as a nation dedicated to God. There are those now who deny the existence of God and and have done everything they possibly can to prohibit even the mention of His name. We are a Judeo-Christian nation, not a Muslim nation nor any other tree hugging or animal hugging nation. I am glad you served in the military as have many of us on here. Having been military for all of my adult life, I become extremely irate when I see our freedoms being taken away and by people who should know better. I'm not sure I know what your definition of freedom and patriotism is but, if that email I posted sets you off like this, I feel you need some serious counseling. As the cartoon rooster, Foghorn Leghorn used to say, "It's a joke son."
 

cmhbob

Sig fault.
Let me point out from the get-go that I am Christian by faith and baptism, and Nazarene by denomination.

I missed the part in the Declaration of Independence where it mentions being a Judeo-Christian nation. It mentions a Creator who endowed all men with certain inalienable rights (although it took us a few years and a few hundred thousand dead to get that properly clarified). But there's nothing there about having to be Judeo-Christian in your beliefs to be a citizen or hold an office. In fact, Article 6 of the Constitution specifically states "no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States," and that hasn't been repealed that I've read.

What do you think "Judeo-Christian nation" means? Way too many people spout off "We're a Christian nation" without really understanding what it means, or being able to say what it means to them. What does it mean to you?
 

trophyhunter

New member
Old Grunt,
I only have a few words for you.

SEMPER FI, thats a true american one who fought and served for our great nation......
 

weekendskp

New member
Let me point out from the get-go that I am Christian by faith and baptism, and Nazarene by denomination.

I missed the part in the Declaration of Independence where it mentions being a Judeo-Christian nation. It mentions a Creator who endowed all men with certain inalienable rights (although it took us a few years and a few hundred thousand dead to get that properly clarified). But there's nothing there about having to be Judeo-Christian in your beliefs to be a citizen or hold an office. In fact, Article 6 of the Constitution specifically states "no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States," and that hasn't been repealed that I've read.

I'm sure the OP was only trying to post a funny. "It's a joke son." - Foghorn Leghorn

I do however believe that the above quote to be the true and correct interpretation of the constitution. Jefferson, in his writings leaned more towards a secular state. I find it funny that there are still State constitutions that indicate one must believe in god to serve on a jury or hold public office.
 

Oldgrunt

Active member
Let me point out from the get-go that I am Christian by faith and baptism, and Nazarene by denomination.

I missed the part in the Declaration of Independence where it mentions being a Judeo-Christian nation. It mentions a Creator who endowed all men with certain inalienable rights (although it took us a few years and a few hundred thousand dead to get that properly clarified). But there's nothing there about having to be Judeo-Christian in your beliefs to be a citizen or hold an office. In fact, Article 6 of the Constitution specifically states "no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States," and that hasn't been repealed that I've read.

What do you think "Judeo-Christian nation" means? Way too many people spout off "We're a Christian nation" without really understanding what it means, or being able to say what it means to them. What does it mean to you?

Bob, old son, it seems like you just can't let it go so I will make one last entry on the subject. "Judeo-Christian tradition" is the body of concepts and values held in common by Christianity and Judaism.
Christianity emerged from Judaism. There are common shared scriptures and fundamental doctrines such as monotheism, the belief in a Messiah and that the idea of worship here is patterned after worship in heaven. Jews and Christian share many sacred texts and ethical standards and generally hold that Christian and Jews worship the same God. That is the answer in a nutshell. If you have a different definition then, by all means, use your definition. You are right in that it is not specifically mentioned in the Constitution however you can not deny that we do have that tradition. Also, there is no religious test for holding office in this country. I don't remember any inferrence to it being so. I didn't think we would have to start into eschatalogy over American humor. Anyway, you have a good day now, ya' heah?
 

Ecduc8r_NH

Educ8r NH
I did serve in the Army protecting the rights of those who wish to burn a flag in protest. I think that makes me a True American; I respect and defend the beliefs of those who believe differently from me.

Honestly, this offends me. This statement implies that one must have served in one of the various branches of the military to be a TRUE AMERICAN which leaves me, and many people I know, out. I did not serve in the military, but am still a true American.

By the way, I am not an immigrant to this country. I was born here, therefore this makes me a native, just as much as those who speak Navajo, Apache, or other such languages.
 

BeauRyker

New member
Honestly, this offends me. This statement implies that one must have served in one of the various branches of the military to be a TRUE AMERICAN which leaves me, and many people I know, out. I did not serve in the military, but am still a true American.

By the way, I am not an immigrant to this country. I was born here, therefore this makes me a native, just as much as those who speak Navajo, Apache, or other such languages.

Well said!
 

CathyInBlue

Tool Maker
"You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening."

Okay. I'm a devout Atheist. I don't see anywhere where Congress is given authority to add or subtract words to any work of literature, such as "under god" to the "Pledge of Allegiance". I do see where government is prohibitted from establishing a religion, which it violates with any explicitly religious displays on government property. As an Atheist, I do not celebrate religious festivals, such as Christmas, so I fail to see the point in referring to it as anything other than "The Holidays" genericly, to be inclusive of Hannukha, the Winter Solstice, Saturnalia, etc. Likewise, I do not believe in prayer, so to make myself appear to be partaking of same would be for me to make myself a liar. If you want to pray, pray, just don't expect me to join in.

But then, I guess... I'm not a real American to some... Guess that means I can have my rights trampled on with impunity if I associated with some of you.
 

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