Am I in the wrong?

[Terry 2]

On my day off. A very close friend calls. Hey bud I'm in town till Monday. He is a musician and is always traveling. Do you have time to go to the range. Of coarse I ask my awesome wife If I could go. She said why are you asking. I kind of giggled. So we go to the range. And caught up from the last time we seen each other. We had a blast. Literally. So we head back to my house. I asked my wife ify buddy coulda have dinner with us. So we head down stairs to strip and clean our weapons. Well a few minutes in I hear a person yelling at my wife. It was my sister in law. She tells my wife that she can't believe that my buddy and myself were downstairs cleaning our weapons while my son and 2 nephews are upstairs playing. So my proceeds to tell her to shut her hole. She said you knew we have guns in the house in a safe that he and I only have keys too. And the combination. With my buddy laughing his behind off. I walk up stairs and asked calmly. What's the problem? Now I'm the target. All I her from my sister in law. Blah Blah Blah Blah. So I go upstairs and get my nephew's. And tell them along with my wife and son to wait on the porch. I let her have it. I told her this isn't your house. To get out of the Dodge that she wasn't welcome in my house no more. That if the boys want to come over and play that my wife or myself would come and pick them up. End of story.

 

[PestControl02]

nope, not wrong at all.
you might try inviting the sis-in-law along to the range, in my experience the gun haters react from a place of ignorance, they really just don't understand.
show her a good time, include safety lessons and lots of encouragement..if you do it right- she'll be back for information on buying her own firearm
good luck!

 

[chapguy]

Yes, you were wrong, but only because you handled it poorly. You had an opportunity to educate someone, and her children, and chose to be angry instead, furthering her belief that "gun people" aren't intelligent people. This will only make her more closed minded in the future.

 

[Terry 2]

My father in law is a huge gun guy. . And my wife and her 4 siblings have been well educated and all have taken gun safety and the hunters safety course. My oldest nephew has been to the range with me and my father in law. And was a complete sponge with what he was doing right and wrong and showing him the correct way.

 

[rdm6680]

You were wrong. Yes

 

[Firefighterchen]

I agree with both answers so far. You were not in the wrong on your position. but the way you addressed it was not right in my opinion. My opinion though has very strong family relations, and my relationship with my brother and sister in laws are very important to me. So...you were right about it being your house, your rules, and you were being safe with your firearms, and she has no say in that. You were wrong that you let an opportunity go to show your children how to be better than your opponent, and to help educate an "educated" person.

 

[Mark Chitty]

You weren't even doing it in front of her kids, so I don't see why it's such a big issue. I suppose she could be freaked out that if a gun accidentally went off it would endanger her children even if they were in a different room. At which point she needs to know and understand that proper safety procedures were being followed. But it's hard to educate someone that is irate, and even harder when their overreaction triggers us to become lose our temper too. But I would hope that someone in my house would understand that I wouldn't do anything to endanger my family, so their family would be equally as safe.

I clean my gun in front of my two little girls because that's about the only time it isn't loaded and chambered other than when I'm transporting it not on my person. This makes it the safest time for them to look at it, hold it, learn about it, and ask questions. They know my wife and I have guns, and I like the idea of their curiosity being regularly satiated in this manner so that they are less inclined to ever try and gain access to them on their own, even if they are locked up. It also means they are regularly relearning and being tested on gun safety, something that I think is very important when you have kids and guns in the same house.

Maybe when things are less heated it would be a good idea to reach out to her and explain how everything was being done safely because you would never put anyone in your house in harm's way. Offer to teach her and her kids about the safety precautions you take and everyone should take when they are around guns. They are scary things to people that don't understand them so her reaction is understandable. They are safer than a lot of everyday things when you do understand them so your reaction is understandable too. This means neither of you were in the wrong, and I am a firm believer that all misunderstandings can be rectified with communication and education.

 

[eagleeyes]

i wouldn't put up with any one under my roof that tells me to 'shut my piehole' that was just rude and disrespectful as far as i'm concerned esp to say to your spouse. i feel it should have been handled with more kindness and understanding as well perhaps made it a great opportunity to teach your wife about gun safety and cleaning .....rather than shut her out of the experience and probably piss her off with that kind of attitude. she should have put you in the dog house after that 'shut your piehole' response !
now go apologize to your wife and try to educate her in a respectful patient and polite way and you might get lucky with some good 'make up sex' heheh

 

[Shoobee]

Sounds like co-dependence to me. Inlaws can be a pain.

 

[Terry 2]

im sorry in my first post. i was typing on my I phone and hopped on my shop's computer. my wife told her sister my sister in law to shut her hole. i have to much respect to talk to my wife that way.

 

[AzBanks]

i wouldn't put up with any one under my roof that tells me to 'shut my piehole' that was just rude and disrespectful as far as i'm concerned esp to say to your spouse. i feel it should have been handled with more kindness and understanding as well perhaps made it a great opportunity to teach your wife about gun safety and cleaning .....rather than shut her out of the experience and probably piss her off with that kind of attitude. she should have put you in the dog house after that 'shut your piehole' response !
now go apologize to your wife and try to educate her in a respectful patient and polite way and you might get lucky with some good 'make up sex' heheh

I think you misread the OP. It was his wife's sister who had the problem. His wife told her sister(the OP's sister-in-law) to shut her hole. His wife was defending him from her own sister. The sister was yelling and complaining so his wife told her sister to shut it and he told the sister to exit the house and not come back. He and his wife told a meddling sister/sister-in-law to shut up and get out.

I agree with other posters that there might have been another way to handle this situation but we do not know the family history and the sisters mental ability to listen to reason. In some cases the best thing you can do is to permanently remove drama from your life even if that drama is a family member.

 

[eagleeyes]

glad it wasn't you who said that but your wife shouldn't have spoken to her sister like that either.......
best wishes to all
thanks i did misread it i just went back to do a double take and i see it now

 

[SGB]

Trying to educate people that base their reason on emotion is a failing proposition.

 

[BC1]

Your home, your rules. She can accept them or stay out.

 

[wolf_fire]

On my day off. A very close friend calls. Hey bud I'm in town till Monday. He is a musician and is always traveling. Do you have time to go to the range. Of coarse I ask my awesome wife If I could go. She said why are you asking. I kind of giggled. So we go to the range. And caught up from the last time we seen each other. We had a blast. Literally. So we head back to my house. I asked my wife ify buddy coulda have dinner with us. So we head down stairs to strip and clean our weapons. Well a few minutes in I hear a person yelling at my wife. It was my sister in law. She tells my wife that she can't believe that my buddy and myself were downstairs cleaning our weapons while my son and 2 nephews are upstairs playing. So my proceeds to tell her to shut her hole. She said you knew we have guns in the house in a safe that he and I only have keys too. And the combination. With my buddy laughing his behind off. I walk up stairs and asked calmly. What's the problem? Now I'm the target. All I her from my sister in law. Blah Blah Blah Blah. So I go upstairs and get my nephew's. And tell them along with my wife and son to wait on the porch. I let her have it. I told her this isn't your house. To get out of the Dodge that she wasn't welcome in my house no more. That if the boys want to come over and play that my wife or myself would come and pick them up. End of story.

There are a few perspectives here: 1) your wife is being yelled at in her own home.... 2) you were doing nothing unsafe in your own home (I'm assuming since you are well-trained that you didn't have ammo at your cleaning station)... 3) you have uneducated sister-in-law who thinks that she is right no matter her place.

Did you have every right to throw her out of your house? Yes. Was it the smartest thing in the world to do? Probably not.

If your sister-in-law is that ignorant to think a field-stripped firearm is unsafe, it could have been a great learning experience. If she has been around guns and still thinks this way, then she is just being a crabby b-i-t-c-h in your own home and needed to be taken care of, which you did outside away from the children.

 

[NCIC105]

Yes you did handle it wrong!

You asked your wife for permission to go shoot??

You asked you wife if your friend could come have dinner with your family??

As far as sister in law I would have escorted her to the door.....

 

[Robiee3006]

Dont listen to this idiots you did the right thing. **** her its your ******* house she wants to pull that **** she can take her ass the **** home. End of discussion.

 

[Paul53]

Don't think you were wrong in feeling that you could clean the guns outa sight of the boys. Dealing with the sis in law? Can best sum it up by waht a congressman once said; "the difference between rape and seduction is salesmanship." Good luck.

 

[Sir Diealotz]

No one talks to me like that in my own home. I agree with you because there is no reasoning with someone that ignorant. At a later date you can chose to educate this ignorant person or not, your call.

I would have done the same thing. Tell her to go pound sand and get the **** out of my house.

 

[rev. dave]

You were NOT wrong by any means. There's a difference between 'being wrong' and acting badly in response to a wrong. I have similar problems with step-daughters sometimes.

The woman should have kept HER mouth shut. It's your home after all, she knew you have guns, and if she's so stupid she thinks that 'cleaning' is like 'shooting' then she needs to get a clue. Nobody has any business criticizing you in your home like that unless you invite it by verbally asking their opinion -and even then they should demure if they know it's going to be a confrontation. People seem to have generally forgotten simple manners.

You probably could have responded 'better' - like showing her what's going on when you're cleaning guns. Or maybe by asking her to talk to you instead of screaming at your wife. The woman was simply trying to make your wife responsible for adopting her feelings and punishing you over them. It's truly none of her business. But now, because you blew up about it too, you're going to have to either stick to your position forever (awkward!), or back off some which will be interpreted to mean that you are weak on the issue of confrontation with the sis-in-law. I'm not sure how you recover from this - I'm still trying to figure it out with one of my daughters over a similar situation (no guns but her getting into business that didn't involve her) - but for the sake of future peace you need to find a way. However, it doesn't have to be today, and time may calm her down enough for the two of you to resolve it together. I depend on time a lot. Good luck.