Advice for explaining decision to carry


ack8910

New member
I've got my permit and a couple of guns I practice with regularly, and have recently decided to purchase a gun suitable for concealed carry, after months of research. The question is I'm not sure how to explain it to my parents. I know, "do what you want who gives a...!" The thing is I'm a student being supported by my parents ($), not to mention that I love and respect them very much and would rather not go behind their backs (but would if I had to). They know I'm responsible, intelligent, and one of the "good guys." This all stems from something my dad said "there's enough violence w/o everyone having a gun; people would shoot you for just looking at them wrong." Now I could come up with ways to go against his argument. They're not anti-gun by any means. Dad's been NRA for years (weird, huh??). I think what I'm asking is how others might've broken the ice to parents, good friends, spouses, etc; not so much point by point arguments in favor.

Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks for your help.
 

Horkos

New member
Not being in your shoes I can only broadly suggest that you be honest and sincere. Try not to come across as judgemental and let them know you respect their opinions and all you're asking is for that same respect. Remember, everyone doesn't always have to agree with eachother for there to be a modest base for mutual respect. At the same time respect is earned not given. And you may have to accept that you might have to choose between your principles and your loved ones. A hard choice to be sure. But thats the risk you take in doing what you believe is right, regardless the subject matter. Hope all goes well.
 

6shootercarry

New member
With all due respect... The truth is best, your truth. Why did you decide to carry a firearm?
Don't read the teleprompter, just state your case. At some point in time you have grown with guidance from your parents and have decided to make a decision that affects you. If they have done their job in preparing you for the rest of YOUR life, they will understand you making this decision of your own accord...

State your opinion with conviction and stick to it...
 

gunnerbob

PEW Professional
What 6shooter said... tell them exactly what YOU feel, even if it's "b/c I want to". You're an adult, you make your own decisions for your own reasons. If your parents can't understand this... that's just too bad aint it? And on a seperate note... what makes your father think millions of people aren't already carrying guns everywhere? Do you think gang members care about getting their CCW??? People will already shoot you for looking at them wrong, but now you can shoot back. Don't be fooled into thinking the only way people carry firearms is through CCW. People will do it no matter what the law says... if they didn't, we wouldn't have created the word "crime".

I believe in this:

"An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life."
-- Robert A. Heinlein, Beyond This Horizon, 1942

I always have, even as a youth... and even more as an adult.
 

WB9IIE

Master of Poverty Knob
:smile:All of the above plus you can add that with the number of legal CCW holders, the bad guy is not going to be too quick to approach a potential victim if he thinks he might not get home for dinner. CCW has reduced crime in many areas of the country. Makes the bad guy think a bit before pulling a gun knowing that his oponent may also be armed.
 

Tony Quilici

New member
Since your Dad is speaking about such violence of someone will shoot you just for looking at them the wrong way, then tell your Dad then I have a way to DEFEND my life. Unless of course your Dad would rather have you die?
 

Phillip Gain

New member
I agree with most of the folks above. Sincerity is good. Polite but direct is good.

Just a couple of points to add. Buy the firearm with your own money. And if you're living under their roof while they support you, and they say they don't want you to have a handgun in the house - RESPECT THAT, and start making a plan to support yourself and move out. (Hopefully you have a few ideas on that anyway.)

Just my opinion.
 

ack8910

New member
To all who have posted thus: thanks a lot! (Pretty good for an hour!) To address you all broadly, I've visited a lot of websites (like this one) and read some Ayoob and my thinking resonates with yours as far as reasons for carrying go. I hope I didn't make it sound like too much of an ultimatum. It's not like they'll disown me or anything. I know my stuff, I just need encouragement to put it to use.
 

grantlank

New member
I'm a student as well, and supported by my parents. I know the delima you're in. I decided at first I wouldn't say anything and went out and bought an AR (yeah subtle I know) and got busted when UPS shows up with AR accessories. Once the cat was out of the bag it really wasn't that bad. My parents weren't anti-gun, but never owned any firearms. We had a nice discussion and they seemed to be more upset at the fact that I kept this secret than buying the gun.

Once I was of age I told them I would be going to take my CWP class to carry concealed. They were weary of this but I reassured them that I, like you, was a good guy and one that was a responsible firearm owner. Once I obtained my permit I carried every place I had the legal right to. I was constantly questioned if it was really necessary to carry at a certain place. I always reminded them that crime can occur anywhere and the reason I had a permit was to protect myself. I encouraged them to pick up the paper and see the crime that was happening.

I guess what I'm saying is to be honest and up front. Make your case and explain your reasoning. I wish I would have. Now (a year later) I take the family out to shoot regularly and my dad even has a permit. They shouldn't doubt your judgement unless you've given them a reason to. If you would have told me a few years ago that I would have a CWP and own several firearms I wouldn't believe you. I think going about it the right way is important. Good luck!
 

Capt Cook

New member
You might want to mention that the bad guys are working in groups a lot more now. If you are aproached, chances are that there will be 3 or more of the and lately the have been attacking in large groups.
And remind them that it is not just you that is being protected but that small child or the little old lady or even them.
 

BC1

,
They know I'm responsible, intelligent, and one of the "good guys." This all stems from something my dad said "there's enough violence w/o everyone having a gun; people would shoot you for just looking at them wrong."

Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks for your help.
You father actually gave you the reasoning... "there's enough violence... people WILL shoot you for looking at them wrong."
 

eaccents

New member
Explaining your decision to carry

I've got my permit and a couple of guns I practice with regularly, and have recently decided to purchase a gun suitable for concealed carry, after months of research. The question is I'm not sure how to explain it to my parents. I know, "do what you want who gives a...!" The thing is I'm a student being supported by my parents ($), not to mention that I love and respect them very much and would rather not go behind their backs (but would if I had to). They know I'm responsible, intelligent, and one of the "good guys." This all stems from something my dad said "there's enough violence w/o everyone having a gun; people would shoot you for just looking at them wrong." Now I could come up with ways to go against his argument. They're not anti-gun by any means. Dad's been NRA for years (weird, huh??). I think what I'm asking is how others might've broken the ice to parents, good friends, spouses, etc; not so much point by point arguments in favor.

Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks for your help.

Honesty is the best policy, really.

Most people who get guns for self-defense carry because we just want to be prepared. With that in mind, I would explain it like this:

Like any normal adult, you try to think ahead and try to be prepared. Who owns a fire extinguisher? Who keeps candles and/or flashlights in the house? Who has "emergency money" that is separate from their day-to-day money? All these practices are for those who hope for the best, but want to be prepared for the worst. To that end, Mom and Dad, I have carefully researched and then selected some firearms, regularly practiced with them for proficiency, and have adopted the mentality of the responsible gun owner.

For me, I don't advertise to people that I am carrying. IF they do comment on the fact that I always have a gun on me or within arms reach, I simply reply that "I would rather have it (be it a gun, fire extinguisher, flashlight, or whatever) and never need it, than to need it and not have it."

For those who point out that the likelihood of crime in my area is very low, I look at them and say, "Just because there is no precedence doesn't mean it won't happen. Look at the Petit family in Connecticut. Look at the folks at Fort Hood. Look at the campers in Oslo." Again, simply put: I would rather have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.

Good luck with breaking the ice. I hope your discussion with your parents is a positive one and opens the topic up for further discourse.
 

Tucker's Mom

New member
I'm a student as well, and supported by my parents. I know the delima you're in. I decided at first I wouldn't say anything and went out and bought an AR (yeah subtle I know) and got busted when UPS shows up with AR accessories. Once the cat was out of the bag it really wasn't that bad. My parents weren't anti-gun, but never owned any firearms. We had a nice discussion and they seemed to be more upset at the fact that I kept this secret than buying the gun.

Once I was of age I told them I would be going to take my CWP class to carry concealed. They were weary of this but I reassured them that I, like you, was a good guy and one that was a responsible firearm owner. Once I obtained my permit I carried every place I had the legal right to. I was constantly questioned if it was really necessary to carry at a certain place. I always reminded them that crime can occur anywhere and the reason I had a permit was to protect myself. I encouraged them to pick up the paper and see the crime that was happening.

I guess what I'm saying is to be honest and up front. Make your case and explain your reasoning. I wish I would have. Now (a year later) I take the family out to shoot regularly and my dad even has a permit. They shouldn't doubt your judgement unless you've given them a reason to. If you would have told me a few years ago that I would have a CWP and own several firearms I wouldn't believe you. I think going about it the right way is important. Good luck!
I like your response...though honesty had already been put across, yours is from experience. Welcome to this forum. This is a keeper so it is the only gun forum that I subscribe to. Besides, I don't have time to spare as we travel a lot. But that is besides the point. I believe we can learn from you as much as you will learn from various levels of intelligence and experience of this group.
 

maswife

New member
When it comes to conceal carry just be as honest with your parents as possible. Why you wand to carry such a weapon is basically your business but parents are appreciative with honesty in these matters.
 

CPW1265

New member
Every American is afforded the rights as stated in the Bill of Rights. Your just exercising your 2nd Amendment right as an American citizen in this great country to bear arms. And explain that you by exercising your 2nd amendment right can help them one day when a crazed gunman opens fire and that since they have protected and brought you up you are returning the favor of protecting them in the time of need.
 

grantlank

New member
I like your response...though honesty had already been put across, yours is from experience. Welcome to this forum. This is a keeper so it is the only gun forum that I subscribe to. Besides, I don't have time to spare as we travel a lot. But that is besides the point. I believe we can learn from you as much as you will learn from various levels of intelligence and experience of this group.

Thanks for the kind words. I've been a reader of the forum for quite a while, but thought it was a good time to jump in. There's a wealth of knowledge on here from many good people. It's a great resource.
 

TekGreg

New member
Honesty is the best policy, really.

Most people who get guns for self-defense carry because we just want to be prepared. With that in mind, I would explain it like this:

Like any normal adult, you try to think ahead and try to be prepared. Who owns a fire extinguisher? Who keeps candles and/or flashlights in the house? Who has "emergency money" that is separate from their day-to-day money? All these practices are for those who hope for the best, but want to be prepared for the worst. To that end, Mom and Dad, I have carefully researched and then selected some firearms, regularly practiced with them for proficiency, and have adopted the mentality of the responsible gun owner.

For me, I don't advertise to people that I am carrying. IF they do comment on the fact that I always have a gun on me or within arms reach, I simply reply that "I would rather have it (be it a gun, fire extinguisher, flashlight, or whatever) and never need it, than to need it and not have it."

For those who point out that the likelihood of crime in my area is very low, I look at them and say, "Just because there is no precedence doesn't mean it won't happen. Look at the Petit family in Connecticut. Look at the folks at Fort Hood. Look at the campers in Oslo." Again, simply put: I would rather have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.

Good luck with breaking the ice. I hope your discussion with your parents is a positive one and opens the topic up for further discourse.

Ack8910, This is great advice. The one thing you could add to it is that the world is much more violent now than when your parents were growing up; the police almost never arrive in time to stop a crime in progress, only report it; and you feel you have a duty to to protect yourself over anyone else - not your parents, not the police, not the neighbors, but YOU, and you feel to do that against druggies, gang members, ex-cons and other hardcore criminals, you felt it necessary to TRAIN yourself and start carrying a gun. If your parents are interested in statistics, I would tell them about places like Florida, who, when they went from may issue to shall issue the Brady people predicted "it would be the Wild West all over again!" Instead, Florida's violent crime rate dropped by a huge amount in four months...it was something like 40 or 50%. This type of statistic proves that armed civilians as a whole are responsible, law-abiding citizens and don't go around acting like John Wayne in "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly."
 

pathfyndr

New member
Hey...if your dad is an NRA member, take him to the range with you and let him have some fun !! Start it iff that way and at the same time he will see that you can handle the handgun and do it safely.
 

Lowjiber

New member
As you get older (I'm sixty four), you'll learn that you don't have to explain anything to anyone. Family and friends who judge you based on your own, personal decisions shouldn't even be a factor.
 

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