I came up with this little rhyme while putting around on my John Deere lawn tractor today. It might be the allergy meds but I feel totally uninhibited in submitting it here because nobody really knows who I am. I only crank one of these out about once every ten years so I apoligize to my english teachers if it isn't formatically correct. Feel free to grade it for content and originality though. Most of all, I hope you enjoy it.
"Guns Are Like Shoes" by TheDoaner
There’s hundreds of forums that you can peruse.
It’s commonly queried, “Which gun should I choose?”
To answer your question
“Guns are like shoes.”
The latest, the greatest, and some awfully neat.
All utterly worthless if they don’t fit your feet.
You’ve read the reviews,
You’ve been to the store.
You’ve asked all your buddies,
And you’re more confused than before.
So many brands
And features to choose.
Follow me here,
Because guns are like shoes.
We all have to walk
Before we can run.
It’s true with shoes
As well as the gun.
I run three to six miles about four days a week.
Often in darkness and sometimes in sleet.
Yet I can’t make it home,
If the shoes don’t fit my feet.
Where will you be
And what will you wear?
Questions I ponder
When I pick a pair.
Will they go with a jacket
For a night on the town?
Will they go with t-shirt
For just messing around?
Do you spend most of your time
In a car or a chair?
Things to consider
When picking a pair.
All the good brands
Have quality controls.
They offer the same sizes
Yet they use different molds.
Machined or hand crafted?
Some of you care.
But if they don’t comfortably fit,
Why even go there?
There are some great for driving,
Some great for the house.
Some cost so much
That you won’t tell your spouse.
They make tons of models
For both you and me.
I must limit my choices
To around size 11D.
Air Jordans are great!
If you’ve got MJ’s skills.
But not in the office
Or roaming the hills.
All will last longer,
If you clean and protect.
But some will better take torture,
And a little neglect.
The shelves are all full.
Which model to choose?
Are you starting to see
That guns are like shoes?
You can have more than one model.
It isn’t a sin.
But before you wear them all day,
Please break them in.
There’s some for the country
And some for the street.
Why ask hundreds of strangers,
What’s best for your feet?
I’ve got several full closets,
Yes, I’ve spent some dough.
But the ones that fit great
I just can’t let go.
I have lots of practical, tactical
And some waterproof makes.
Then there’s that one purchase,
I made just for snakes.
There are plenty of opinions.
You can read what they say.
But let fit, feel and function
Show you the way.
It may be in fashion
It may have some flash.
If you’ll never wear it,
It ain’t worth the cash.
I hope you’re enlightened,
Or at least entertained.
One common question
Now uniquely explained.
Accessorize wisely,
Whatever you choose.
For it’s just one more way
That guns are like shoes!
"Guns Are Like Shoes" by TheDoaner
There’s hundreds of forums that you can peruse.
It’s commonly queried, “Which gun should I choose?”
To answer your question
“Guns are like shoes.”
The latest, the greatest, and some awfully neat.
All utterly worthless if they don’t fit your feet.
You’ve read the reviews,
You’ve been to the store.
You’ve asked all your buddies,
And you’re more confused than before.
So many brands
And features to choose.
Follow me here,
Because guns are like shoes.
We all have to walk
Before we can run.
It’s true with shoes
As well as the gun.
I run three to six miles about four days a week.
Often in darkness and sometimes in sleet.
Yet I can’t make it home,
If the shoes don’t fit my feet.
Where will you be
And what will you wear?
Questions I ponder
When I pick a pair.
Will they go with a jacket
For a night on the town?
Will they go with t-shirt
For just messing around?
Do you spend most of your time
In a car or a chair?
Things to consider
When picking a pair.
All the good brands
Have quality controls.
They offer the same sizes
Yet they use different molds.
Machined or hand crafted?
Some of you care.
But if they don’t comfortably fit,
Why even go there?
There are some great for driving,
Some great for the house.
Some cost so much
That you won’t tell your spouse.
They make tons of models
For both you and me.
I must limit my choices
To around size 11D.
Air Jordans are great!
If you’ve got MJ’s skills.
But not in the office
Or roaming the hills.
All will last longer,
If you clean and protect.
But some will better take torture,
And a little neglect.
The shelves are all full.
Which model to choose?
Are you starting to see
That guns are like shoes?
You can have more than one model.
It isn’t a sin.
But before you wear them all day,
Please break them in.
There’s some for the country
And some for the street.
Why ask hundreds of strangers,
What’s best for your feet?
I’ve got several full closets,
Yes, I’ve spent some dough.
But the ones that fit great
I just can’t let go.
I have lots of practical, tactical
And some waterproof makes.
Then there’s that one purchase,
I made just for snakes.
There are plenty of opinions.
You can read what they say.
But let fit, feel and function
Show you the way.
It may be in fashion
It may have some flash.
If you’ll never wear it,
It ain’t worth the cash.
I hope you’re enlightened,
Or at least entertained.
One common question
Now uniquely explained.
Accessorize wisely,
Whatever you choose.
For it’s just one more way
That guns are like shoes!
